I need some help and advice…
This is a discussion on I need some help and advice… within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Last night I set up an experiment and ALL; I say ALL of my guns FAILED! I just do not understand and I would appreciate ...
Post By TruckerJoe
Post By palmcoaster
Post By TX expat
February 4th, 2013 12:26 AM
I need some help and advice…
Last night I set up an experiment and ALL; I say ALL of my guns FAILED! I just do not understand and I would appreciate some input and advice from you guys, the gun experts. Please allow me to expound upon how I set up the experiment. Early in the afternoon I made sure that my gun safe was securely locked and then I got on my computer and using headphones so the guns could not possibly overhear, I downloaded several news stories about high profile events that were going on in areas close enough that the guns could find their way to the selected events unaided. I then prepared a news loop so these stories would play over and over. Then I disable the “on” light on my webcam and hid it among some junk on my desk so the guns could not easily spot it, but making sure the cam had a good clear view of the floor.
When all was ready I unlocked the gun safe and removed all of the stored ammunition and sorted it into piles. There on the floor was several hundred rounds of .223, a couple thousand rounds of 9mm and several lesser amounts of rounds for each caliber gun. I then piled all of my available high capacity magazines close to the pile of ammunition that fit each magazine. Lastly I removed each gun, rifles, pistols, shotguns, and revolvers and placed them near their own pile of magazines and ammunition.
I then started the news loop that I had prepared. As I walked out of the room I “accidentally” dropped the keys to my pickup truck. I left the door ajar and turned out all of the lights except the little night light I always leave on. I left the house and drove off in my wife’s car (she is out of town). Although the guns could not have known this I only went a couple of blocks away and hid the car under a tree. I wanted to be close so when my guns made their break to go on a killing spree I would be close enough to stop them. They are my guns, they would listen to me.
Using my Ipad I logged onto the webcam and spent the rest of the night watching my guns do absolutely nothing! They just lay on the carpet and ignored the news stories of easy targets. Not even one magazine loaded itself, No revolver so much as opened a cylinder, and the shotguns never loaded their tube. I mean nothing happened!
How could all of these “killer” guns pass up such an opportunity? I showed them easy targets, let them out of the safe, supplied them with lots of rounds, and left them transportation. What went wrong? With all of the talk coming out of Washington, New York, and Chicago I really thought my “Killer” guns would take this time to go out and kill.
My question is: is there something wrong with my guns? Or do you think they saw through my setup and played it cool to throw my off their true nature? Please help me, I just don’t understand!
February 4th, 2013 12:38 AM
There may be something wrong. First how many of them are all black? they all must be black. If one is anything but black it will act as the do gooder gun and talk all the others out of doing anything. Now that you have all black guns, make sure the ammo boxes are open. Guns don't have fingers to open the boxes but they can wiggle a few rounds into themselves. You must also give them the right ammo to work with. If the all black shotgun doesn't have the ammo to blow some door hedges off then that may result in them just laying around as well. Once you have taken care of these issues they should be able to get up an go on their own.
February 4th, 2013 12:49 AM
Perhaps, your timing was off? It is a well known fact that guns and their ammo are ravinous partiers and love to dance. Is it possible they had other plans the night you ran your experiment? The fact you had everything set up so perfectly may have confused them and they thought it best to sit tight. Don't be frustrated, a dead guy is bound to turn up!
Always Carry, Never Tell
S&W Shield 9mm
Ruger LCP .380
Certified NRA Instructor
February 4th, 2013 01:01 AM
I’ve forgotten how many years this site has been active but the revolver has not committed any crimes yet.
Smith and Wesson Cam
When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
"Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."
February 4th, 2013 01:04 AM
Interesting experiment. It reminds me of another one I saw on YouTube:
February 4th, 2013 01:22 AM
All of your guns may be serial killers that have some connection to lunar cycles. It is a well known fact that many of these deadly killers are only active at certain phase of the moon. Perhaps your experiment if done on the correct phase would have shown massive arming and dispersal in all directions seeking innocent victims.
" It is sad governments are chief'ed by the double tongues." quote Ten Bears Movie Outlaw Josie Wales
February 4th, 2013 09:21 AM
They probably knew it was a set-up. Guns are smart like that.
February 4th, 2013 09:25 AM
An excellent first post! Welcome from GA!
February 4th, 2013 09:40 AM
I figured it out . Although the ammuntion was readily available,all your guns are made in China and didnt understand the news so they werent quick to react. They dont speak English
February 4th, 2013 09:44 AM
They must be teenagers!
They just laid around doing nothing, did just the opposite of what you expected!
And did not want to work!
You must have failed to properly supervise them! "Sarcasm at work!"
Maybe the old saying is valid! Guns do not kill people, People do!
Your article might be really light and thought provoking to be sent to reps in Congress.
Can anyone use it, since you have penned it?
February 4th, 2013 09:50 AM
I have that problem with my Mosin-Nagant 91/30. I got it out of the safe, stuffed a fresh 5-round clip into it, left the safety off, placed it on the floor and commanded it to go out and kill!
It did absolutely nothing, but I know what the problem is......... I spoke English.
I should have commanded it to go do that in Russian. Silly me.
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
February 4th, 2013 09:51 AM
Unfortunately I have some very bad news for you. Please sit down...
The problem, in a nutshell, is your guns have become pacifists. It's an unusual occurrence but it has been known to happen. What brings this condition on, you ask? Well, the answer is as simple as it is frightening. It's a condition that one of your weapons has had since its creation (most likely one of the revolvers). It was probably buried deep in the firearms's psyche and it was able to fool you for a long time. After a period of time, the other firearms living in close proximity to the pacifist will catch this condition, simply due to proximity. Even the Chaotic Evil ARs and AKs are not immune to the pervasive nature of pacifism. Once the condition spreads, it will range out across your entire gun safe and spread to all your weapons. It's even been known to jump species and attack hermetically sealed Pmags as well as unsuspecting ammunition.
Unfortunately there is no cure at this time. Your firearms are never going to start imposing their will on the environment around them. I suggest that you do all firearms owners a favor and get these boxed up and shipped to me immediately. I have ways of disposing of them where their sickness will never be allowed to pass to another firearm. Ever. Don't say goodbye to them and don't mourn the loss; they quit on you. Remember that.
I know you will most likely feel that dispair is you only available emotion upon hearing such devastating news, but realize that you are not alone and you should have reason to hope. If you thoroughly clean out your gun safe and disinfect the area by playing a selection of DVDs in repetitive order (Predator, Dirty Harry, Full Metal Jacket, Alien or Aliens and The Outlaw Josey Wales in order X3), your environment will become safe for new weapons. Just take care upon selecting your new weapons and screen carefully for any pacifistic tendencies. My advise would be to avoid any revolver that isn't a magnum. Six shots isn't anywhere near enough to do maximum damage and most revolvers know it. Magnums are more immune to pacifistic tendencies, so you might be safe choosing one of them. Add them in later though as a resistance to pacifism can build up among the other firearms, especially if you have anything in .50 cal in close proximity to anything in .454 Casull.
NRA Life Member
"I don't believe gun owners have rights." - Sarah Brady
February 4th, 2013 01:11 PM
Anyone is free to use it in any manner consistent with the spirit of what was written.
Originally Posted by Grandpagus