satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real

satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real

This is a discussion on satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; From FBI Headquarters, Quantico, VA Important information…Immediate action required 2013 Annual Survey of US Criminals Please complete and return your survey in order to continue ...

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  • 6 Post By gunthorp
  • 6 Post By TX expat

Thread: satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real

  1. #1
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    satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real

    From FBI Headquarters, Quantico, VA

    Important information…Immediate action required


    2013 Annual Survey of US Criminals

    Please complete and return your survey in order to continue receiving your government entitlement benefits, even if you are presently incarcerated.

    How long have you been a criminal?
    a. just started
    b. more than one year
    c. more than five years
    d. career criminal

    How old were you when you committed your first violent crime?
    a. 12 or younger
    b. 13 - 16
    c. 17 – 21
    d. older than 21

    What types of crime have you committed?
    a. robbery
    b. rape
    c. murder
    d. all of the above

    When was the last time you committed a violent crime?
    a. 1 year
    b. 1 month
    c. 1 week
    d. last night

    How many times have you been caught?
    a. more than ten times
    b. 5 – 9 times
    c. 1 – 4 times
    d. never been caught

    How much time have you served in prison?
    a. 25 – life
    b. 10- 24 years
    c. 1 – 9 years
    d. community service only several times

    What is your greatest fear?
    a. eyewitness
    b. being ratted out
    c. leaving DNA evidence
    d. running into an armed victim

    What tools do you use in criminal activity?
    a. gun, knife, crowbar
    b. gun, knife, flashlight
    c. gun knife, rope
    d. all of the above

    Where do you get your guns?
    a. Street vendors
    b. burglary
    c. relatives
    d. all of the above

    Does gun control
    a. not stop you from getting guns
    b. make you, your friends, and your family vote for gun control politicians
    c. take away guns from your victims
    d. all of the above

    When gun control passes, where will you turn yours in?
    a. local Sheriff’s Department
    b. local Police Department
    c. FBI
    d. none of the above

    In the space below, list all your presently owned firearms, including any with serial numbers that have not been defaced. Use additional sheets if needed.




    Please Print

    Your first and last name:
    Your street name:
    Address, city state, zip
    Cell phone number:
    Pager number:
    A convenient place to meet:

    Mail this survey to FBI Headquarters, Quantico, VA. Be sure to lick the envelope.
    Liberty, Property, or Death - Jonathan Gardner's powder horn inscription 1776

    Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito.
    ("Do not give in to evil but proceed ever more boldly against it.")
    -Virgil, Aeneid, vi, 95


  2. #2
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    satire survey I recently composed to forward to liberals who will think its real

    Funny! I'd change one of the "where do you get your guns" answers to: Botched BATF Investigations.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    NRA Life Member

    "I don't believe gun owners have rights." - Sarah Brady

  3. #3
    Distinguished Member Array dben002's Avatar
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    agree with TX expat....FUNNY...VERY FUNNY
    There are two types of people who carry concealed weapons...Responsible ones and Irresponsible ones...which are you...

  4. #4
    Ex Member Array Bullet1234's Avatar
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    SATIRE ,,,, unfortunately THERE IS A WHOLE LOT OF TRUTH THERE.

  5. #5
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    That's the most accurate poll yet.
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array Stevew's Avatar
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    It is real.
    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around laws. Plato

  7. #7
    VIP Member Array JDE101's Avatar
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    That is good. However, if you show it to the libtards it would zing right over their heads!!!! They are so emotional and irrational they just would not "get" it.
    Live to ride, ride to live. Harley Road King And keep a .45 handy Kimber Custom TLE II

  8. #8
    Member Array gunfan's Avatar
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    That's a great "zinger."

    Scott

  9. #9
    Member Array torgo1968's Avatar
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    If any of your friends think it's real after the first sentence, liberal or conservative doesn't matter, the problem is that they have brain damage.

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