I think my pockets are shrinking
Lately I've noticed that my hands will hardly fit into my pockets anymore. At first I thought I might be gaining weight, but no, still weigh the same. Then I thought maybe the hot water was causing my clothes to shrink, but they don't feel any tighter.
Then I figured out what it is. There are too many OTHER hands in my pockets!!! Obama has his hand in my BACK pocket going after my paycheck. And Diane Feinstein has both of her hands in my FRONT pockets going after my semi-auto pistol in one and my high capacity magazine in the other.
But, my buddies back in Virginia said it's pretty bad up there too. Why one said it's getting so bad up there close to DC that the other day he saw a liberal with his hands in his OWN pockets!!!