Bear facts

This is a discussion on Bear facts within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I woke up one morning to find a bear on my roof so I looked in the yellow pages and sure enough there's an add ...

Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Bear facts

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Rigby, Idaho
    Posts
    5,142

    Bear facts

    I woke up one morning to find a bear on my roof so I looked in the yellow pages and sure enough there's an add for "Bear Removers." I called the number and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

    The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 50/90 Sharps rifle and a mean old pit bull.

    "What are you going to do?" I asked him.

    I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

    He then hands the gun to me, "What's the rifle for?" I asked.

    He answers, "If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog!"
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
    DAV Life Member
    NRA Life Member

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    VIP Member
    Array dr_cmg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    10,811
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Away - Health Problems
    Posts
    17,353

  5. #4
    Lead Moderator
    Array rstickle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Laurel, MD
    Posts
    21,634
    Again!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  6. #5
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    South West PA
    Posts
    25,482
    <Chuckle> LOL
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  7. #6
    Moderator
    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    44,417

    Hey...

    I'll join in too...

    Stay safe...stay off roofs...

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  8. #7
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Rigby, Idaho
    Posts
    5,142
    It took me second to sink in
    Μολὼν λαβέ

    USN 78-82/USAF 82-93 Medically Retired
    Desert Shield/Desert Storm
    DAV Life Member
    NRA Life Member

  9. #8
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    25,793
    Quote Originally Posted by PatrioticRick View Post
    It took me second to sink in
    It would take a second for it to sink in, wouldn't it? Pit bulls. Glad to have the Sharps, but it might well not be enough. A mean one is like a 4WD mobile bench vice.

    Thanks for the chuckles.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  10. #9
    Member Array osanmike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Crestview, FL
    Posts
    397
    ROFL
    "No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the Congress is in session."
    Mark Twain
    S&W M&P 40

  11. #10
    Member Array Mak9x18's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    341
    That is funny but I've got to stop reading these while drinking coffee. I'm afraid the keyboard will never recover.
    For those who understand, no explanation is necessary.
    For those who don't understand, no explanation is possible.


    John

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array Old Chief's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Southwest Tennessee
    Posts
    10,482
    Reminds me why I do not want to go into the business of bear removing.
    One should never confuse good fortune with good training.
    Illegitimus Non Carborundum.
    In God we trust.

  13. #12
    VIP Member
    Array nn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    7,119

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Baby Bear, Mama Bear and Papa Bear
    By southchatham in forum Defensive Carry Guns
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: August 30th, 2010, 08:21 PM
  2. Facts v. Truth
    By DaveH in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: April 21st, 2009, 01:05 PM
  3. Gun Facts
    By mhiggi02 in forum The Second Amendment & Gun Legislation Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: September 7th, 2007, 03:00 PM
  4. Ultra Stinger Vs. the Polar Bear and the Bear Cub
    By black bear 84 in forum Related Gear & Equipment
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 19th, 2006, 03:23 PM
  5. USA Today Changes the Facts
    By majordad in forum In the News: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: August 28th, 2006, 05:10 PM