All too true. You made my day, man.
This is a discussion on Illinois vs. Texas within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Illinois: The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites ...
The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
"Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is
only doing what is natural.
2. He calls animal control .. Animal Control captures the coyote
and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and
bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked
for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
"coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better
treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent
with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million
suit against the State.
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks the dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his concealed carry pistol
and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP
hollow point cartridge.
2. The Crows eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Texas is not.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse or Rapture....whichever comes first.
All too true. You made my day, man.
Never get out of the boat....
You forgot to mention how many IL. politicians are in prison ( or should be) vs Texas. Jesse Jackass Jr soon to be along with his wife. Maybe they can share a cell with Blago
Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.
And don't forget the Texas Gov telling PETA to be out of town by sundown.
Retired USAF E-8. Official forum curmudgeon.
Lighten up and enjoy life because:
Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth
I agree 100%. I'm afraid I'd have to leave the country before I could move to IL (or a few other states for that matter).
"Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6"
Flight Surgeon, USAF
Law Enforcement Tactical Surgeon
NRA Benefactor Member
My god, I'd hate to have someone run down the math on $,$$$,$$$,$$$s if this had been a D.C. to Texas comparison! Illonois is small fry compared to D.C. But, apparently, that is where D.C. is currently getting its spending justification math instructions.
Your story is funny!
My wife however is from Springfield, IL and this "scenario" would be restricted to Cook Co. and the City of Chicago.
In the rest of the state, they'd probably act like Texans and shoot the Coyote.
"A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"
The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green
Well I heard rabid yotes won't go to D.C. because there is no food value there and nothing worth chasing