You have to love the Irish!!

You have to love the Irish!!

This is a discussion on You have to love the Irish!! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought ...

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Thread: You have to love the Irish!!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    You have to love the Irish!!

    One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.

    Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him,
    "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

    "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

    With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. "Faith and B'gorrah," said the man, "that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

    "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Powers Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

    Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

    Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket there and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis Nectar of the Gods!" stated the Irishman. "Tis truly fantastic!!!"

    At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle.
    She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

    With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

    Don't tell me that you've got Golf Clubs in there, too!"
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array PatrioticRick's Avatar
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    Member Array Sonic Misfit's Avatar
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    I don't get it.

    Did she really have golf clubs????

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    She Had Clubs?

    I'll bet she didn't have balls.


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    ''How long since you played - around''??
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    Member Array osanmike's Avatar
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    LOL
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    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

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    Senior Member Array tegemu's Avatar
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    As an Irishman I enjoyed a good Irish joke and it was also a pleasure that it wasn't another drunken Irishman joke whicjh I consider in the category of racial jokes.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence in their behalf. - George Orwell

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array Joshua M. Smith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tegemu View Post
    As an Irishman I enjoyed a good Irish joke and it was also a pleasure that it wasn't another drunken Irishman joke whicjh I consider in the category of racial jokes.
    As a fellow Irish/Welsh/Scot/German (I take after the Scot/Irish part), I resent the fact that you resent the drunk Irish jokes! It's part of our heritage man!

    LOL... joking.

    Josh <><

    P.S. Scotch sounds good right now...

  11. #11
    Member Array amlevin's Avatar
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    Just remember, Alcohol was invented in order to keep the Irish from ruling the world.


    ""If I shoot all the ammo I am carrying, I either won't need more or, more won't help me.""

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    Senior Member Array Wayne's Avatar
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    As an Irishman I enjoyed a good Irish joke and it was also a pleasure that it wasn't another drunken Irishman joke
    What do you call an Irishman on a golf course, a cigar in one hand and a good Irish whiskey in the other?

    A very happy man

    I have some Irish in me. Which has been known to cause internal conflicts due the British in me, which really causes a problem with the Indian in me .

    Wayne

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