Doctor! I need help!

This is a discussion on Doctor! I need help! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what ...

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Thread: Doctor! I need help!

  1. #1
    Member Array waynesan's Avatar
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    Doctor! I need help!

    A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper.

    The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know
    what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason, and
    it scares me."
    The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is
    getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your
    mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the
    room or goes to bed and falls asleep."

    Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and
    reborn.The woman says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my
    husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and
    he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

    The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth
    shut that does the trick...."
    Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken every day.

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array DontTreadOnI's Avatar
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    Waynesan's next thread title:

    Welp I'm Losing Half Of My Guns In The Divorce

    If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen.

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    not bad!!! I won't share that one with the wife
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    VIP Member Array pittypat21's Avatar
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    I shared it with my wife. She didn't seem too amused.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
    -General James Mattis, USMC

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    VIP Member Array Crowman's Avatar
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    Women just don't seem to have a sense of humor, huh?????
    pittypat21 and StevePVB like this.
    "One of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils in this world are to be cured by legislation."
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    Second Amendment -- Established December 15, 1791 and slowly eroded ever since What happened to "..... shall not be infringed."

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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    If a man says something and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    If a man says something and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
    Yes.
    Next question.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    Yes.
    Next question.
    That's the same thing my wife said.
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    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    If a man says something and there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
    I just plagerized this and put up on my bookface page as a poll....... this'll get some attention me thinks.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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    Senior Member Array CanuckQue's Avatar
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    Mental illness incidents are used to threaten gun rights.
    The March of Dimes headed off the Universal Iron Lung coverage debate, just sayin'.
    Alternately, for those with a toolshed and ideas.


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    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugDude View Post
    That's the same thing my wife said.
    Update: my wife said if I even think something and don't say it I'm still wrong.
    RKflorida likes this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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    My wife said I was right once. Now she's not so sure.
    Retired USAF E-8. Avatar is OldVet from days long gone. Oh, to be young again.
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

  14. #13
    VIP Member Array BugDude's Avatar
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    I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.
    zonker1986 and BenGoodLuck like this.
    Know Guns, Know Safety, Know Peace.
    No Guns, No Safety, No Peace.


    Guns are like sex and air...its no big deal until YOU can't get any.

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    I thought about getting married once. Then I came to my senses.
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    You can tell your wife the joke, just give her a glass of water first!
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    Cogito, ergo armatum sum.
    I think, therefore I am armed.


    (Don Mann, The Modern Day Gunslinger; the ultimate handgun training manual)

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