We're not losing a daughter, we're gaining a mercenary.
After many years of watching romance movies alone and gorging on chocolate bon-bons between the tears, a faint glimmer of hope for true love blossoms for our little Betty.
But a problem rears its ugly rear. The old "something borrowed, something blue" isn't going to work for our sinister sister. Something old must now be something odd.
I have an ivory-handled .380 Colt Government with which she could buttress her boustiere.
Could you loan her something for that trip down the aisle? It's a good bet none of us will be invited.
What would you nab for her nuptials?
She can dish it out, and she can take it.
We\'ve had a good laugh at Betty\'s expense, and as always she has chosen the higher ground. Humor is important to me, and so is a proper realtionship with her, and all of my friends, both real and virtual.
I have been reminded that even with sincere desires, there is a limit to all forms of humor. I value Betty\'s opinions, and would hate to cause any discomfort for a few cheap laughs.
And I always want to be known as a person who apologizes as fast as he criticizes, and in the same public area.
Betty, thanks for being a good sport, please pardon the gags if you have been offended in the slightest.
And further, thanks for not mentioning my crazy Uncle Carmine, confined in our attic.