If guns kill people, then....

This is a discussion on If guns kill people, then.... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Let's see your "if guns kill" one-liners. Try to be original. Since I started the thread, I'll go first... If guns kill, then matches cause ...

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Thread: If guns kill people, then....

  1. #1
    Member Array Illuminati's Avatar
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    Cool If guns kill people, then....

    Let's see your "if guns kill" one-liners. Try to be original.
    Since I started the thread, I'll go first...

    If guns kill, then matches cause forest fires.

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array onacoma's Avatar
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    Here is the old one: If guns kill people, how does anyone get out of a gun show alive?


    In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress. -- John Adams

    If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free! -- P.J. O'Rourke

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    VIP Member Array pittypat21's Avatar
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    There's always this classic picture...

    SpoonsMadeMeFat.jpg
    Illuminati and 357and40 like this.
    "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
    -General James Mattis, USMC

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    Member Array Illuminati's Avatar
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    If guns kill, then beds cause teen pregnancy.
    atctimmy and Betty like this.

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    Distinguished Member Array shadowwalker's Avatar
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    If guns kill then a fork causes obesity

  7. #6
    Member Array Illuminati's Avatar
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    If guns kill, then cars cause car accidents.

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    If guns kill people then cars cause DUIs.
    CanuckQue likes this.
    When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.
    "Don't forget, incoming fire has the right of way."

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    VIP Member Array NONAME762's Avatar
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    If guns kill then my guns are all DEFECTIVE!!!
    Firing a suppressed is on my Bucket List.

    I'm just a spoke in the wheel but not a big deal.

    America...a Constitutional Republic. NOT a democracy as the liberals would have us believe.

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array 357and40's Avatar
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    If guns kill strip clubs cause single moms... Wait... scratch that... Strip clubs allow me to support single moms... wait, scratch that...
    If guns kill, single moms cause strip clubs...

    Ok, NOW you can call me a chauvinist...
    "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."
    - Roy Batty

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    Ex Member Array myrkr's Avatar
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    If guns kill then gorillas cause AIDS

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array Jaeger's Avatar
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    If guns kill people only outlaws will have guns...no, wait...
    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." C.S. Lewis

  13. #12
    Distinguished Member Array sealteam20001's Avatar
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    If guns kill people then ban people!! bloomy thinkin

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    If guns kill people, then McDonalds made me fat.
    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one." – Luke 22:36

    "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so." – Thomas Jefferson

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    If guns kill then 24 oz sodas made me fat.
    Member of the NRA
    {A}RMS discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property...Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them
    1775 Thomas Paine
    Not afraid to live & Not afraid to die .

  16. #15
    Senior Member Array CanuckQue's Avatar
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    If guns kill people, then prostitutes cause divorce.
    Our current plan for Universal Iron Lung coverage, just sayin'.
    Wisest. Retirement. Plan. Ever.
    Good thing the March of Dimes worked. How, why?

    Alternately, for those with a tool shed, ideas, or creative loved ones to tell..


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