My fellow Americans...

This is a discussion on My fellow Americans... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Having always been one to arrive early and leave late, I've decided to toss my hat into the ring for the 2016 Presidential Election and ...

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  1. #1
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    Cool My fellow Americans...

    Having always been one to arrive early and leave late, I've decided to toss my hat into the ring for the 2016 Presidential Election and announce my candidacy for the office of the President of the New Knighted States!

    I've taken some time to study the principals on both recognized and established current political parties (and those in between) and have concluded that this country needs a new political party with a entirely new agenda for how this government should be run. Therefore, I am announcing the establishment of the "Beach Party."

    As a kickoff to the next election, a general assembly of party members and convention will be held at Islamorada in the Florida Keys.
    Sun, sand, and balmy breezes will be provided free of charge--compliments of the new order government. Any rain that occurs is solely the responsibility of the opposing parties. Sunscreen is the responsibility of the participants as the new government isn't going to nanny your butt when it gets sunburnt.

    The convention will begin on the second Tuesday of this November and continue until Election Day 2016, provided anyone is left still capable of marking an "X" on their voting ballot or why they're there to begin with.

    Veterans and lawful gun owners will receive the privilege of moving to the head of the line at the bar . . . I mean the volunteer counseling station. Counselors will be available to listen to your suggestions, and tips will be appreciated. Those who wish to break the line do so at their own peril. Service dogs will be allowed as long as they do not pee on the feet of your next president or drink his beer.

    The NSA has graciously offered to record all conversations for the duration of the convention, which may be a good thing as I expect few will actually (and hopefully not) remember any of the event. In compliance with the FOIA, everyone (and I mean everyone!) will get a copy of the goings-on, so discretion is encouraged.

    My Platform:
    My first official act as your leader of the New Knighted States will be to go ahead and shove California off into the Pacific. If the current residents are lucky, it will float. Otherwise, nice knowing ya! To provide counterbalance to the massive loss of liberals on the west coast, New York and New Jersey will also be set adrift, thus equalizing the balance of this great new nation.



    All citizens will be encouraged to not only own a firearm, but to keep said firearm readily available for judicious self-defense use.



    All comers are welcome at the convention. Those from Kentucky are encouraged to bring copious supplies of that special beverage they produce. Texans are encouraged to bring barbeque, and my fellow native North Carolinians are asked to bring all the Grits, Collard greens and livermush they can round up. Those old Pepsi bottles of that clear liquid should be left behind due to the extraordinary amount of firearms on site.



    Vote for OldVet in 2016!

    Last edited by OldVet; September 8th, 2013 at 06:04 PM.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array sealteam20001's Avatar
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    Love it Old Vet, You got my vote.. How about a running mate for VP. I'm no Hockey Mom, But I think I can put lipstick on a pig
    JoJoGunn likes this.

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    Senior Member Array Brent95's Avatar
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    I'm all in..

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    I'm not buying all this . The last guy promised a bunch of stuff too. i'm holding off on my endorsement .
    Jeanlouise and Pinot like this.
    Member of the NRA
    {A}RMS discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property...Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them
    1775 Thomas Paine
    Not afraid to live & Not afraid to die .

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    Free beer!
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    VIP Member Array StormRhydr's Avatar
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    You had me at "Islamorada". I have done some good diving there. Wreck of the Eagle, and all that.

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    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post
    Free beer!
    Throw in some free ammo - and I'm all in.
    Sister likes this.
    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post
    Free beer!
    A blatant attempt at vote buying.

    Do you have a campaign finance director yet? Spending money is my area of expertise.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    Quote Originally Posted by Patti View Post
    Throw in some free ammo - and I'm all in.
    Always wanting something for nothing. Whatcha got in trade?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    A blatant attempt at vote buying.

    Do you have a campaign finance director yet? Spending money is my area of expertise.
    Money? The free beer isn't enough?
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    Free up the ammo supply and at 1990 prices then i'm all in . And who is the VP you are running with ?
    Member of the NRA
    {A}RMS discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property...Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them
    1775 Thomas Paine
    Not afraid to live & Not afraid to die .

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    Quote Originally Posted by OldVet View Post

    Money? The free beer isn't enough?
    Ummmm...no.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    Let's be sensible here. Freeing up the ammo supply would require illegal search and seizure of TX expat's hoarding cave, and he's promised half of it to me if I'll let him on the ticket. What he doesn't know is what the ticket's for!

    Okay, I'll find some free chips and salsa to throw in. But free margaritas ain't happening.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    Distinguished Member Array sealteam20001's Avatar
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    I'll throw in a pig, without the lipstick if that helps.

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    Keep the pig, the lipstick, and the woman who applies it. But if you've got some caribou we can grill with the grouper, TX expat may have to get served with a warrant.
    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    VIP Member Array maxwell97's Avatar
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    The Beach Party of Minnesota will supply the tater tot hot dish and lutefisk!
    Patti likes this.
    "Yet this government never of itself furthered any enterprise, but by the alacrity with which it got out of the way... The character inherent in the American people has done all that has been accomplished; and it would have done somewhat more, if the government had not sometimes got in its way."

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