Inspirational books needed for a boy in need.

Inspirational books needed for a boy in need.

This is a discussion on Inspirational books needed for a boy in need. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Hey guys, Looking for an inspirational book here for the child of a friend of mine. He's 14 and very troubled. His dad abandoned him ...

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    Inspirational books needed for a boy in need.

    Hey guys,

    Looking for an inspirational book here for the child of a friend of mine. He's 14 and very troubled. His dad abandoned him and his sister when they were very young and has little to do with them. My friend has been a single mom and has singlehandedly supported them as a graphic designer and a 911 operator. She has never taken public assistance, and the "dad" keeps dodging support. He is a loser. Write him off.

    The son's medical needs are causing financial issues. He was diagnosed very early on with epilepsy, but there's more the doctors at Vanderbilt have not been able to figure out yet, even the neurologists. He sees spots in his vision all the time, is sensitive sound/light, and has other issues I can't even remember to post about. They've stuck him on this medication and that medication, and even put him on a schizophrenia med once. He's been in and out of the hospital forever.

    He was an A-B good student, but lately that all went downhill. He's 14 now and more self aware, and is very, very angry about his nonexistent dad. And with mom working hard and not being present to give consistent attention, you know.... It's a bad cycle. He's gotten aggressive, and he's hit his sister and his mom. She's called the police on him. They've seen various social workers and therapists and have been to doctor after doctor for his medical needs. I can tell you my friend has worked herself to exhaustion trying to help her son. She is at the end of her rope. He's been at our house once, and he was a wonderfully polite, soft spoken boy. He's one of these "I'd never guess he'd be like that" people.

    Last month he wrote a suicide letter and mom hospitalized him. This was right after he deliberately stole things at school in order to be sent to detention. He did it, he said, so he could be where it was quiet and could concentrate and be away from everybody else.

    They are getting consistent therapy through Vandy now, and he has opened up and talked a lot. He kept from everybody that he was being bullied at school because of his epilepsy. He decided he wanted to forget about his dad, and wrote him a long letter and mailed it to him. Everything seemed okay for a few weeks. No return letter came, of course.

    Then he started to cut up family photos and rip off cabinet doors and knock things over again. He left the house with scissors. I told my friend to get off the phone with me and go find him right away. Just tell you love him, don't get mad at him, just get him in the car and get him home. A kid doesn't run off with scissors like that for fun. He had been receiving a lot of letters wishing him well after his hospital stay. I had been slowly working on one and I finally emailed it over to his mom to print out for him. Later that night, she told me that whatever I wrote made him give up the scissors he was sleeping with. I'm glad for that, because it shows he is reachable. But if he's running about and sleeping with scissors, that's not good. I had a friend in high school who was a cutter, and this boy has already threatened to kill himself.

    My husband is ADOS-2 testing him for free to check for anything in the autism spectrum disorder, which will also reveal any issues in sensory processing. Vandy recommended the test and they were going to do it, but they were unable to schedule anything soon. The drive to my husband's office is a long haul, so unfortunately they can't see him on a regular basis - it would have helped the financial burden. The waiting list for Big Brothers makes it impossible to get help there. My friend has exhausted most avenues with her parents and church.

    I want him to get help and keep him on the straight and narrow. He's a tall boy, unhappy and aggressive. Put a grey hoodie on him and he's the spitting image of another boy. I don't want him to end up like that.

    My letter reached him, even if it was for one night. He needs more, something to show he is not alone and that others have been there and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. He needs to learn that destructive and self-destructive behavior only punishes himself more.

    I'm looking for inspirational books - not necessarily religious (they are Mormon) - whether fictional about a character similar to him who makes it out and on top, or biographical along the same lines. Time spent reading is time off the street, and keeps him focused in a quiet area. He is young and impressionable, and either he can be inspired and motivated, or he can run out and wander the streets and take it out on the wrong person.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa


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    'Just a guess, but the Narnia series by C. S. Lewis may give him some 'escape' while instilling good values. He very well may be able to relate to the kids in the story.
    oldskeetshooter and phreddy like this.
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    C. S. Lewis writings brought my aunt out of deep depression after the sudden death of her daughter. Lewis has something for everyone. Although done through humor, "The Screwtape Letters" light up the dark recesses of the human train of thought. At the age of 14, I feel sure that the troubled teen can understand it.
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    A wise man once said: "Bugout bag?..What's that? Is that all the junk you sidewalk commandos plan on humping when the SHTF...I'll grab a Nylon 66, a box of 22s and a poncho liner and in less than a week I will have all of your stuff and everything else that I need for the duration."

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    VIP Member Array blitzburgh's Avatar
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    "The Screwtape Letters" is one of my favorite books and I echo oldskeetshooter's suggestion.

    Is there any other organization besides Big Brother in the area? Has he tried sports? Football worked miracles for me when I was going through some really tough times at his age.
    phreddy likes this.
    "Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God." - Benjamin Franklin
    "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

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    A contact sport might be good for him to get out some of that aggression. You said he's tall, so maybe basketball?

    The boy needs a father figure in his life - Boys Club is a good idea - I didn't know they had a long wait.

    A good solid Coach can also be a positive influence. Not sure if epilepsy would keep him out of sports.

    However, the boy needs an interest or hobby to keep him occupied. And he needs a male role model. I'd also encourage the Mom to get him involved with a Youth Group - even if it means switching churches. The Baptist Church in my town has one of the largest youth groups I've seen. These kids are tight.
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    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

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    Boxing and football are two sports that can get kids in the right direction . Also one major thing is kids helping with Animals ( pets ) Horses , Dogs . I know this may work with alot of kids .
    Member of the NRA
    {A}RMS discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property...Horrid mischief would ensue were the law-abiding deprived of the use of them
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    Dr Ben Carson has written a book about his life. He grew up in a fatherless household and very poor but became a Pediatric Neurosurgeon. If you read the description it sounds something like this boy...young, angry with the world and not living up to his potential.

    Amazon.com: Gifted Hands eBook: Ben Carson M.D., Cecil Murphey: Books

    In addition to the books already mentioned, which are fiction; he might like a real life account of someone who went through bad times and came out on top.

    I feel so sorry for your friends son. It's heartbreaking that his father has abandoned him.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    VIP Member Array blitzburgh's Avatar
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    Tony Dungy has a few good inspirational books, too. I really liked "Quiet Strength".
    "Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God." - Benjamin Franklin
    "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

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    Betty,
    John Eldredge wrote a book titled "Wild at Heart", it would be a great book for both the young man and his mother to read together. You can check it out on Amazon.com.
    If you died today and stood in front of God and He asked you " Why should I let you into My Heaven?" what would you say?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    Dr Ben Carson has written a book about his life. He grew up in a fatherless household and very poor but became a Pediatric Neurosurgeon. If you read the description it sounds something like this boy...young, angry with the world and not living up to his potential.

    Amazon.com: Gifted Hands eBook: Ben Carson M.D., Cecil Murphey: Books

    In addition to the books already mentioned, which are fiction; he might like a real life account of someone who went through bad times and came out on top.

    I feel so sorry for your friends son. It's heartbreaking that his father has abandoned him.
    That is exactly what I was looking for. I didn't know Dr. Carson's early life was like that. It's got a lot of elements the boy needs - a black male who rose to the top after having no dad, and he was angry, violent, and failing. And a neurosurgeon to boot; my friend's son has something wrong with him neurologically, and for Carson to be a doctor in that field is a bonus for him.
    Jeanlouise and Sister like this.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    Betty, they need to look into the drugs they are giving him. Most of em will make him worse.

    Last month he wrote a suicide letter and mom hospitalized him. This was right after he deliberately stole things at school in order to be sent to detention. He did it, he said, so he could be where it was quiet and could concentrate and be away from everybody else.

    This right here, those meds will make a person crazy. I got a niece (35) that is messed up pretty bad from meds and her mother (a nurse) keeps saying "she HAS to have them", I concur, they are what is wrong with her.

    If he is sensitive sound/light, well it could be Fibromyalgia. Some times the sun knocks me out, just 10 min in it. They gave me drugs that I thought I'd lose my mind, got off them. Does he get any exercise? What is his diet? So many factors here, but diet and exercise is way more important than drugs IMO. Look up "Feldenkrais", it's something he can do with the epilepsy and other issues and it will help his anger too.

    As far as a book, I am a big Dr. Charles Stanley fan ~ He writes books for all ages. This young man needs to know his "Father God" loves him and will never fail him.

    I'll remember this boy and his family in my prayers.
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    Matthew 10:33

    But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.


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    Quote Originally Posted by welder516 View Post
    Boxing and football are two sports that can get kids in the right direction . Also one major thing is kids helping with Animals ( pets ) Horses , Dogs . I know this may work with alot of kids .
    IDK, those two sports might be dangerous for a child with epilepsy (head injuries) and a dog may be abused by a child with anger issues....not sure, just a thought.
    Oldpsufan likes this.
    Matthew 10:33

    But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.


    ~ Jesus ~

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    He is in Boy Scouts and did play basketball, but basketball was taken away from him because of his poor grades. Now you have no basketball reward because of poor grades, and poor grades because of lack of motivation, and defiance against punishment. Lose-lose. He said he was interested in archery and martial arts, but because of his violent tendencies, his mom has said No. I really don't recommend they get any pets, that's another responsibility that nobody in that house can afford right now. I don't know what animal therapy places there are down where she lives; my husband does some equine therapy would be great, but the drive is quite long for them and she's just short of getting fired for being off work so much for the boy, and the boy is also just shy of getting into more problems at school for lack of attendance because of medical / social problems.

    Both her mom and I suggested boot camp.

    He has an EEG on Thursday and the ADOS-2 test on Friday, and hopefully we can narrow down what's going on inside his brain beyond that of an angry boy. The docs said he was "clear" of epilepsy and stopped giving him meds for it a couple years ago. But I know he's still had an occasional episode. His mom said it was after the medication stopped when anger problems really sprouted up. Maybe the epilepsy med helped calm down whatever else was wrong in his brain, I don't know. I know it's not normal to see multicolor spots in your vision all the time.


    I bought him the Ben Carson book and he should have it in a couple days.... if he's home to ever receive it; he's been disappearing more often recently and has gone back to damaging furniture.
    Thanks for your help, everybody!
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    VIP Member Array Patti's Avatar
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    I'm not a doctor and I don't pretend to be one - but how does medicine help someone stop being angry?

    There is a reason for his anger, and I feel strongly that someone needs to get to the root of his anger. My guess is that he's angry about his Dad abandoning him.

    I agree with Sister. Dr. Charles Stanley is an expert in the field of psychotherapy and he's a strong Christian man. He's written numerous books.

    Check out his website, intouch dot org and see if there are any relevant books that might be of help to this Mom and her son.

    Betty, this boy needs a lot of prayer and some indepth counseling.

    I'm not sure bootcamp would be the answer because he'll feel even more abandoned.

    Suicide is a very serious thing for a young boy to contemplate.

    Almost forgot: I really do believe in proper diet. This Mom needs to make sure he's not eating a bunch of crap like pre-processed foods and fast food junk.
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    Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. Winston Churchill

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    I'm not a doctor and I don't pretend to be one - but how does medicine help someone stop being angry?
    It would depend. If the anger and violence is caused by something like schizophrenia, proper medication would help subdue it. His anger may be stemming from something medically wrong with him (he does have issues known and unresolved there), or maybe he's just an angry hormonal teen (which he is also).

    As an update, the EEG did reveal some issues, but it will take a few more days before that can be properly analyzed. The ADOS-2 revealed he is not on the autism spectrum. This past Friday everything hit the fan. Mom told him he was not allowed to watch anime cartoons (the boy has a huge issue with porn and anime porn, resetting the cable boxes to bypass passwords, etc.), and he started to punch holes in walls. My friend made the huge mistake of leaving the apt. to get her neighbor, who is a cop. While she was gone, he broke mirrors, tore up furniture, shredded bedding, and then started to strangle his sister. He only stopped when she kneed him in the crotch and escaped. My friend returned (the cop neighbor was not at home), and called the police. She said he just totally flipped and was unrecognizable, like every last bit of her boy just disappeared. Now he's got a felony, and he's in juvie.

    The sister went to the ER, luckily nothing's broken. Her neck's all bruised, though. On Monday they went to court, mom refused to take him home and said he was going to stay there until later in the month when there's another court date, much to the boy's surprise. He told the cops mom's computer and scanner/printer and all her work stuff were going to be destroyed next. Total failure to see consequences. If mom can't work because she doesn't have her computer equipment, she can't pay the bills. If she can't go to her second job as a 911 operator because she's taking care of messes or is too tired to perform, she will lose her job there. Can't pay rent + destroyed apartment = eviction and homelessness. He really doesn't get how good he has it. Lots of kids don't have dads and turn out just fine. He's got more than many - a VERY proactive mom, a sister, a roof over his head. Vanderbilt is going to do a complete psych workup on him.

    She's found a residential facility for troubled teens that offers schooling and therapy. This is probably the last straw. If he doesn't want to be helped, he can't be. He'll end up a punk thug getting shot dead. It's all been a slow train wreck, watching a little baby grow up into a criminal.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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