1000s of words in the language and the best one for Star Wars III is "awful!"

This is a discussion on 1000s of words in the language and the best one for Star Wars III is "awful!" within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; When I was a young teenager, I loved the STAR WARS trilogy. I lived and breathed it. That gradually fell away, of course. I got ...

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Thread: 1000s of words in the language and the best one for Star Wars III is "awful!"

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    1000s of words in the language and the best one for Star Wars III is "awful!"

    When I was a young teenager, I loved the STAR WARS trilogy. I lived and breathed it.

    That gradually fell away, of course. I got older, more mature, and apart from that, I started critically thinking about those movies and realized that they're pretty darned silly when you get right down to it.

    But only with the "prequel" trilogy's release did I come to realize HOW DUMB the mythology of these movies really is.

    I took episodes II and III from the library this weekend and watched them. (I had seen I and II already: now I was rewatching II to prepare for III.) I knew I was not expecting good things. I just wanted to have finally seen them. The only things I expected to like were the action and the scenery depictions.

    The things that suck:
    - the so-called "science" (ship design, technology design, physics, etc.)
    - the dialog (horrible!)
    - the acting (horrible!)
    - the plot

    There must be a thousand things I've seen during these two movies that I groaned and thought, "How friggin' stupid!" about.

    Let's see...
    - Droids that talk to each other and say, "Roger roger!" to each other.
    - Wookiees who attack by swinging from vines onto droid vehicles and literally doing the "Tarzan Yell"!!
    - Ships and vehicles that look like they were designed by Tim Burton, in terms of utility, feasibility, practicality and complexity. Just because they're not supposed to be of earth human design, do they have to be preposterous?
    - Convenient ignoring of physical realities when it suits the plot.
    - Droids that exhibit cowardice, which would have had to be deliberately programmed into them!
    - Droids that actually GROAN when they are damaged in battle!
    - Droids that say UH OH!
    - Droids that QUIP.
    - Droids that are reluctant to follow orders.
    - An entire Jedi council that for all this time couldn't sense the immense power of the dark side in Palpatine.
    - They have security video of just about everything, but no video of Palpatine putting on his hood and talking and conspiring with evildoers during the plotting of the emperor's rise to power. (You know, video of him having his hologram conversations.)

    There is SO MUCH WRONG WITH THE EXECUTION OF THESE MOVIES.

    What do you think? Other criticisms? Defenses?

    Please hold off on the, "It's only a movie," defense. I know it is. But I've decided to discuss it as a movie. Within the context of knowing it's "only a movie." With that out of the way, isn't it a stupid one?

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    A few more ideas about how horribly Star Wars was executed:

    - they drive around without seatbelts in open-air vehicles that fly, presumably, at speeds at least as high as our cars do, and probably more like our aircraft. And they drive them freehand, even though the traffic layers are three-dimensional around the cityscapes, buzzing in every direction. Yeah, that's plausible.

    - The battle transports that Yoda and others ride in have open sides -- ostensibly mimicking Huey helicopters or something -- and yet when they are traveling at hundreds of miles per hour there is no wind or noise. They simply stand there on a platform inside the vehicle, yet no one falls out on turning, accelerating or decelerating.

    - Vader and Kenobi fight inside what appears to be an active volcano, with lava spewing all around, yet the environment has enough air for them to breathe, and is not at a temperature of hundreds of degrees making it impossible for them even live while in it.

    Man, it's like Lucas was really trying to make as POOR a movie as possible. It's like a bad joke, or a parody of itself!

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    Member Array walther1's Avatar
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    The only criticism I will give you is that "awful" is not the only word to describe these. They flat out suck. I remember seeing the Episode 1 and thought it was so poor that I actually felt bad for Lucas. I just wanted to send him more money so he wouldn't make future films.

    That movie was a waste of my time and I remember standing in line with some McDonald's employed-acne-prone kid dressed up like Darth Vader. This movie was similar best described when compared to a catheter. There was burning, long drawn out, pain, but it eventually subsides and your body does a pretty good job not to ever recall it.
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    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Let's say nothing of the decision to have sound travel through space.

    (They even show electricity traveling through space when R2-D2 defends against droids attacking the hull of his fighter ship! As far as I know, electricity does not travel through a void.)

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    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Ever notice how, any time they go to another planet, it seems that it's like no more than a drive down to the corner store? They hyper-simplification of interstellar travel is a major downside to these movies. It's like it takes no more time to go to a distant planet than it does to go to a nearby city.

    And when they go to another planet, they always seem to go to the ONE SPOT on that planet that has what they're looking for. Like, when the emperor rescues Anakin in episode III: he senses that "Skywalker is in danger," leaves in his shuttle to rescue him; his shuttle arrives (presumably out of hyperspace) there at the planet, and in minutes he is right there on the lava bank at Anakin's side! It's a PLANET! How do you arrive at the pinpoint spot you want to go to so quickly?! Okay, ostensibly, he uses his "dark force" sense to locate Anakin. But the same goes for when AMIDALA goes from place to place.

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    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    No one knew, or could sense, that Amidala was carrying twins until the robot medics were trying to save her life.

    Anakin could not sense his own progeny inside her? The emperor couldn't?

    The couple did not know that it was twins even though presumably with all the technology they have, every step of a pregnancy would probably be monitored and understood and controlled?

    This taxes "willing suspension of disbelief" FAR beyond the breaking point. It's broken.

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    Member Array walther1's Avatar
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    Yeah they didn't have technology for pregnancy. Remember this story occurred in the past, not in today's day and age where we can tell what sex the baby is, let alone all the stuff that is wrong with it, and how many there are!

    It is a poor story. Lucas got divorced and so he punished the nation because his (ex)wife punished him!
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    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Actually, way back when I was a kid I remember wondering, "How is it that they had higher technology back 'a long time ago' than we have now?" but I realized that it was not supposed to be US a long time ago, but some other humanoid-like race. Precursors to earth, or a reality that never would have had an "earth," who knows?

    But the idea that there are literally TENS OF THOUSANDS OF STAR SYSTEMS that not only have LIFE, but have INTELLIGENT life that is capable of associating with all the other races in a galactic senate?! Come ON!

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    VIP Member Array Sheldon J's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey View Post
    Actually, way back when I was a kid I remember wondering, "How is it that they had higher technology back 'a long time ago' than we have now?" but I realized that it was not supposed to be US a long time ago, but some other humanoid-like race. Precursors to earth, or a reality that never would have had an "earth," who knows?

    But the idea that there are literally TENS OF THOUSANDS OF STAR SYSTEMS that not only have LIFE, but have INTELLIGENT life that is capable of associating with all the other races in a galactic senate?! Come ON!
    Let's see their are more star systems in the Milky Way galaxy alone then there is a number to express it. Lets not even go to the endless number of Galaxies other than ours that their are.

    If even .00001% are capable of supporting life then that number is in the hundreds of billions of possible planets with life on them.

    If even a small % of those developed intelligent life then that number could be in the area of over 100 million societies capable of eventually producing star travel.

    If even a yet smaller % of those manged to keep from blowing their self up or having a mass extinction caused by a meteor, and continue along a productive growth, which we here on Earth have not been able to do for more than a hundred years or so, then... they could be very advanced.

    Lucas took a lot of what is called literary license when he wrote the story, not all SCIFI is not based upon fact but gee wiz can that be possible some day? It is meant to be entertaining not a boring story of science of what what can be done within todays limits but tomorrows.

    Jules Vern wrote of things that were not even remotely possible in his day, now... As physics develops and knowledge grows what today is only fantasy can very likely some day be fact. Faster than light, force shields, high energy weapons (the military has been playing with that one for a long time) robots with a personality (AI?) given a form of free will. Throw enough power at the problem and a way to direct and it who knows what will be possible.

    In ancient Greece they devised a mechanical computer that kept track of the planetary movement, tides, and phases of the moon and placement of the sun, they had batteries and electroplating, we lost that in a war long ago along with the library of ancient knowledge in Alexandria. It took until Galleao to re invent the gear, and yet another 100 years the battery.

    If not for mankind trying to take what others have for their own who knows, we may have been to the stars hundreds of years ago maybe another species some place else over came this handicap and are waiting out there for us to become civilized and say Hi someday,
    Optomistic, no realistic.
    "The sword dose not cause the murder, and the maker of the sword dose not bear sin" Rabbi Solomon ben Isaac 11th century

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    Member Array Hobbes's Avatar
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    HERESY! You have to "suspend disbelief" my friend!

  12. #11
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbes View Post
    HERESY! You have to "suspend disbelief" my friend!
    I am willing to suspend disbelief, my friend -- but not sense.

    It makes NO SENSE that they would ride around in open-cockpit personal vehicles, miles above the ground with no restraint system, and no computerized guidance mandatory. Wind? Rain? Hail? What are those?

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    Jeffrey, do you have a personal blog? That might be a better place to post this instead of a concealed carry forum. I realize this is the off topic/humor forum, but this is really a stretch....
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    Senior Member Array '75scout's Avatar
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    The entire 6 episides don't make any sense at all. Pretty much every science movie is ridiculous. But I still love them. There are only a few sci-fi franchises which I can come back to and still enjoy. They are Star Wars, Predator, and Aliens (but Resurrection sucked). I don't really critisize them too much. I just take them at face value.

    I critisize military and action movies much more closely. If a movie is supposed to be realistic, then they better get everything right. I better not hear any safeties clicking on and off on Glocks, I better see guns get reloaded (especially full-auto guns), no shooting from the hip, and I absolutely hate seeing guys dual wield Beretta 92s or 1911s and shoot in 2 different directions and actually hit the BGs.
    Yeah I like Glocks, wanna fight about it!

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    I loved the original trilogy (ep IV, V & VI)!
    The fact that the Ewoks could undermine the Empire in VI always cheezed me off!

    I recall the 'rumor' between EMPIRE & JEDI about the Kenobi/Skywalker fight around a volcano. At that point to my knowlege, Lucas hadn't even begun the previous chapters. I think that he just got lazy, heard the rumors about the fight on a volcano planet and worked it into the scripts decades later.

    Oh, I always did dream about being able to carry a blaster like Han Solo when I was growing up. I suppose a XD will have to do for now.......(try to work CCW into this topic!)

    Yeah, it's only a movie (EP IV), but a magical one that obsessed a few wonderful years of my childhood.
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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    OK.......take a deep breath....and back away from the computer....

    slowly.....keep your hands up and away from the keyboard......it's for the children....

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