Family Problems (this will be long)

This is a discussion on Family Problems (this will be long) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I guess I went hunting on the wrong weekend. Everything went astray while I was out of state. I guess my brother reached a breaking ...

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Thread: Family Problems (this will be long)

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    Member Array hoghunter84's Avatar
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    Family Problems (this will be long)

    I guess I went hunting on the wrong weekend. Everything went astray while I was out of state. I guess my brother reached a breaking point with his new wife. They got married one month ago after dating for a month. During an argument he said something along the lines of "I wish I never met you". I'm not sure what sparked that but alcohol did play a large part. For the past week he had been drinking heavier than usual and I didn't notice it. I've never seen him drink enough to get drunk and his wife didn't seem concerned enough to say anything to me about it. We work together in the family business so I see him every day. I didn't know he was having problems. Anyways, it got so heated he took off to our office and with the pistol I loaned him he said he was going to kill himself. I loaned him the pistol for protection because he had a gun pulled on him at a taco bell and the judge let the guy go. My brother was scared so I loaned him the pistol. I feel so stupid for giving him a gun. I never would have thought he would do something like this; totally came out of left field. This has shaken the whole family and I can't get the idea out of my head of him using my pistol to kill himself. The sheriff has my gun and my brother is now baker acted. Not sure what help that is but we will see. Anyone have any advice or experience with something like this?

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    VIP Member Array Brad426's Avatar
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    FYI for anyone else that didn't know for sure what "baker acted" meant.

    Florida Mental Health Act - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    OP, I can't be of any help, but I wish your brother the best.
    I have a very strict gun control policy: if there's a gun around, I want to be in control of it.
    Clint Eastwood

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    Our hearts go out to you and your family. Nothing anyone says will seem to help. Time. You do know if he had not had your gun it would have been one that belonged to someone else or another way. Perhaps him going to your gun at work was a blessing as it gave time for help. He was not thinking clearly or he would not have gone to your gun, he was not trying to hurt you. He just wasn't thinking. My brother attempted suicide, I blamed myself for a long time. It is something you will do even without it being your gun.

    May God hold you in his hands snug enough to comfort, support and keep you strong, helping you continue to walk through this life well, because your family needs you now more than ever.
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    Having dealt with mental illness in a family member, I know that I can't help with advice.

    'Praying for ya'll this evening.
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    Mental illness is person specific , one treatment does not fit all . He may have several things going on with drinking being one of the problems . I will pray for your enitire family for some answers peace and comfort .
    Member of the NRA
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    Sounds like your brother and I share similar drinking outcomes. Hopefully, this entire episode will serve as a positive learning experience for him, and he won't have to go through anything similar again.
    "When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk."
    Tuco

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    I never had to deal with anything like that. But thoughts and prayers to the family.

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    Your brother will need your support more than ever now.
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    Retired USAF E-8. Remember: You're being watched!
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... "For What It's Worth" Buffalo Springfield

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    I hope your brother gets a really good counselor to help with his impulse control. Maybe marriage counseling would be good too.
    Needless to say, he has to stop drinking before any of this will do any good.

    Good luck to you and bless you for trying to help.
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    Perhaps this passage will help both of you.
    James 1:2-6 NIV

    Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
    We have different gifts,according to the grace given to each of us.

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    Some of these situations are temporary and caused by a specific crisis. Some are not and are related to a personality thing.This was the case in my family. Either one can have good outcomes. Since you work with your brother you are in a good position to assist him in his recovery, because you have access to two areas of his life (family and work ). And maybe can help him get the correct treatment.

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    Member Array hoghunter84's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the kind words. I would have responded sooner but I couldn't find the thread. I thought it may have been deleted for being in a wrong place.

    My brother was released from the facility Tuesday afternoon. He doesn't even know what was said or how it came to a large fight with his wife. He does realize that drinking was the big problem. After talking with him about what may have led to his drinking I found out that he is stressed about being able to do everything at work he is assigned. He has a lot of work to do each day but he has a hard time managing individual jobs and stresses about it. I told him that is my job to schedule appointments for him so he doesn't get overloaded or over booked. The other thing was his wife was just informed about a large and growing lump on her breast. He said that basically threw a curve ball into their lives.

    So when we get settled into working again and getting caught up, I'm going to work with him on a strategy to get himself sober and stress free. Unfortunately I cant do anything for his wife but pray. It is probably the best thing anyways.

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    Kudos to you for helping your brother. I'm sure you realize that you should never lend him a gun again. I am praying for your brother and his wife. You are a special person to help him.
    Ben

    Cogito, ergo armatum sum. I think, therefore I am armed. (Don Mann, The Modern Day Gunslinger; the ultimate handgun training manual)


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    Member Array hoghunter84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BenGoodLuck View Post
    Kudos to you for helping your brother. I'm sure you realize that you should never lend him a gun again. I am praying for your brother and his wife. You are a special person to help him.
    That's for sure! I'm never loaning any of my weapons to anyone. Only when I have direct supervision at the range or something like that. I told my brother that and he understands.

    Today was the first time it actually hit me how close I was to loosing my brother and I broke down. Hug your family. You never quite know what could happen or know what's going on in their lives behind closed doors.
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    VIP Member Array blitzburgh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hoghunter84 View Post
    That's for sure! I'm never loaning any of my weapons to anyone. Only when I have direct supervision at the range or something like that. I told my brother that and he understands.

    Today was the first time it actually hit me how close I was to loosing my brother and I broke down. Hug your family. You never quite know what could happen or know what's going on in their lives behind closed doors.
    So true with close friends and family. It's near impossible to truly know what exactly is going on inside of somebody. Many people are experts (without knowing it) at not giving anything away while around others, even in situations such as OP's where they work together and are brothers.

    OP, I've dealt with various mental illnesses and suicide attempts with family members and I wish there was some magical words I could say that would help you solve everything but they just don't exist. Your brothers extremely lucky to have somebody like you and I believe that alone will increase his chances of sticking around until the Lord calls him home. You and your family will be in my prayers.
    "Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God." - Benjamin Franklin
    "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

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