Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Fortune Cookie Fortunes

This is a discussion on Fortune Cookie Fortunes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I have gotten some doozies over the years. I thought it would be cool to see what strange fortunes you all have actually gotten in ...

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 25
Like Tree18Likes

Thread: Fortune Cookie Fortunes

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Badey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Pittsburgh
    Posts
    4,193

    Fortune Cookie Fortunes

    I have gotten some doozies over the years. I thought it would be cool to see what strange fortunes you all have actually gotten in your fortune cookies. I'll start with this one.




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    "... advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill." -J.R.R. Tolkien

  2. #2
    Member Array DonPablo_VA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Northern Virginia
    Posts
    307
    I've always had fun with whatever our fortune is just add "in bed" at the end. Always worth a good laugh.
    "Success is to believe in yourself....in bed"
    DJC7 likes this.

  3. #3
    VIP Member
    Array Jeanlouise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Almost Heaven
    Posts
    2,992
    I had one that gave the translation of "duck" in Chinese.

    Really? That's my "fortune"?
    JoJoGunn and ShooterGranny like this.
    Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.- Mark Twain

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

  4. #4
    VIP Member
    Array Patti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    La La Land
    Posts
    5,296
    "Intelligence is the door to freedom, and alert attention is the mother of intelligence"....in bed.
    "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

    "A lot of phonies in the world who portray themselves as "victims". It takes a great deal of discernment to know they are fake."

  5. #5
    VIP Member Array Sister's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    relocating
    Posts
    2,753
    I don't think we grow those down south. Only seen a couple and that is when I was in NYC.
    patri0t likes this.


    United Daughters of the Confederacy member
    UDC

    American by birth
    Christian by choice
    Southern by the grace of God



  6. #6
    VIP Member Array patri0t's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Retired to the Heartland
    Posts
    2,226
    Quote Originally Posted by Sister View Post
    I don't think we grow those down south. Only seen a couple and that is when I was in NYC.
    I thought I was the only one thinking that. Last time I saw a Chinese Cookie, Detroit had a nice part of town. Yeah, a loong time.
    Sister likes this.
    Retired Deputy- State Trooper (38 long years) 8 yrs RTO - MS Degree- Criminology
    Gun Control measures are Unconstitutional Infringements. Period.
    "...He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one"- Luke 22:36

  7. #7
    VIP Member
    Array ShooterGranny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Southeast USA
    Posts
    4,191
    They don't have them in China either. They're an American invention - like chop suey.

    Awwwwww.........
    Tzadik likes this.
    Getting old was not on my list of "things to do" in the Golden Years!

    ==================

    Talking to each other here is good, but taking action is better.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    West Virginia
    Posts
    3,224
    My last fortune in a cookie read

    "If you can read this, you're too dang close. You'd be wise and fortunate to back off!"

    Not really, but with my "luck" I would not be surprised if that happened. I can't remember the fortunes in my cookies. I did have a whole bunch of "lucky" numbers in one that never panned out.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

    The Man Prayer. "Im a man, I can change, if I have to.....I guess!" ~ Red Green

  9. #9
    VIP Member
    Array ShooterGranny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Southeast USA
    Posts
    4,191
    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    I had one that gave the translation of "duck" in Chinese.

    Really? That's my "fortune"?
    Well, when the shooting starts "DUCK" might be a good word to know in a lot of languages..........
    Jeanlouise likes this.
    Getting old was not on my list of "things to do" in the Golden Years!

    ==================

    Talking to each other here is good, but taking action is better.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array Badey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Pittsburgh
    Posts
    4,193
    Here's another winner




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    "... advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill." -J.R.R. Tolkien

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array lionround's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Memphis
    Posts
    2,600
    I had Chinese last night (if you can classify Panda Express as Chinese), and my fortune read "You will never want for a steady income".

    That's true but it didn't say how big. Steady at $2/week isn't much to get excited about.

    EDIT: They have the best tasting fortune cookies I have ever eaten.
    Memphis -- No. 2 on the list of most crime ridden cities in America. Working on being No. 1 but we just can't catch Detroit.

    1950 Colt .38 Police Positive Special
    2013 SCCY 9mm CPX-2 Stainless Steel
    US Army 1973-1977, 95B

  12. #12
    Lead Moderator
    Array pgrass101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    13,765
    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

  13. #13
    VIP Member
    Array Jeanlouise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Almost Heaven
    Posts
    2,992
    Quote Originally Posted by pgrass101 View Post
    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    Hahaha...or, "you're going to file for bankruptcy next year".
    pgrass101 likes this.
    Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.- Mark Twain

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

  14. #14
    Senior Member Array DJC7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    839
    Quote Originally Posted by pgrass101 View Post
    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    I think someone stole your idea. I had one a couple weeks ago that basically told me I needed to start exercising. I was like "What the....yeah, you're right."
    ”One loves to possess arms, though they hope never to have occasion for them.”
    ~Thomas Jefferson


    "Carry your gun - it's a lighter burden than regret."
    ~Breda

  15. #15
    VIP Member
    Array WHEC724's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    7,462
    "You just ate somebody's dog"
    __________________________________________________ ____
    You Can Also Find Me On Personal Defense Forum Dot Com

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Sponsored Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Search tags for this page

fortune cookie 45 lc

,

fortune cookie 45lc facebook

,

panda express fortune cookie quotes warnings

,

s&w41 fortune cookie 45lc

Click on a term to search for related topics.