Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Fortune Cookie Fortunes

This is a discussion on Fortune Cookie Fortunes within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I have gotten some doozies over the years. I thought it would be cool to see what strange fortunes you all have actually gotten in ...

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  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Badey's Avatar
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    Fortune Cookie Fortunes

    I have gotten some doozies over the years. I thought it would be cool to see what strange fortunes you all have actually gotten in your fortune cookies. I'll start with this one.




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    Member Array DonPablo_VA's Avatar
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    I've always had fun with whatever our fortune is just add "in bed" at the end. Always worth a good laugh.
    "Success is to believe in yourself....in bed"
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    I had one that gave the translation of "duck" in Chinese.

    Really? That's my "fortune"?
    JoJoGunn and ShooterGranny like this.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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    "Intelligence is the door to freedom, and alert attention is the mother of intelligence"....in bed.
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    I don't think we grow those down south. Only seen a couple and that is when I was in NYC.
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    Senior Member Array patri0t's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sister View Post
    I don't think we grow those down south. Only seen a couple and that is when I was in NYC.
    I thought I was the only one thinking that. Last time I saw a Chinese Cookie, Detroit had a nice part of town. Yeah, a loong time.
    Sister likes this.
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    They don't have them in China either. They're an American invention - like chop suey.

    Awwwwww.........
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    Getting old was not on my list of "things to do" in the Golden Years!

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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    My last fortune in a cookie read

    "If you can read this, you're too dang close. You'd be wise and fortunate to back off!"

    Not really, but with my "luck" I would not be surprised if that happened. I can't remember the fortunes in my cookies. I did have a whole bunch of "lucky" numbers in one that never panned out.
    "A Smith & Wesson always beats 4 aces!"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanlouise View Post
    I had one that gave the translation of "duck" in Chinese.

    Really? That's my "fortune"?
    Well, when the shooting starts "DUCK" might be a good word to know in a lot of languages..........
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    Getting old was not on my list of "things to do" in the Golden Years!

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    VIP Member Array Badey's Avatar
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    Here's another winner




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Though defensive violence will always be a sad necessity in the eyes of men of principle, it would be still more unfortunate if wrongdoers should dominate just men -St. Augustine

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    VIP Member Array lionround's Avatar
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    I had Chinese last night (if you can classify Panda Express as Chinese), and my fortune read "You will never want for a steady income".

    That's true but it didn't say how big. Steady at $2/week isn't much to get excited about.

    EDIT: They have the best tasting fortune cookies I have ever eaten.
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    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pgrass101 View Post
    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    Hahaha...or, "you're going to file for bankruptcy next year".
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    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    Senior Member Array DJC7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pgrass101 View Post
    I've always wanted to market misfortune cookies, they'd say things like "You will have a root canal in the coming year"
    I think someone stole your idea. I had one a couple weeks ago that basically told me I needed to start exercising. I was like "What the....yeah, you're right."
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