AK vs. AR vs. Mosin

[KenpoTex]

Probably the best place for this...Mods feel free to move it if necessary. As a Mosin owner (M44) I got a kick out of this.

Sometimes thare is much to be said for 100 year-old technology!!!

[stolen from: http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm ] with a few additions by me
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AK: It works though you have never cleaned it. Ever.
AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
Mosin: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.
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AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn only from inside the barn.
AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
Mosin: You can hit the farm from two counties over.
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AK: Cheap mags are fun to buy.
AR: Cheap mags melt.
Mosin: What's a mag?
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AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.
AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
Mosin: What's a safety?
_____________________________
AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
Mosin: Your rifle has dog collars.
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AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Mosin: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.
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AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it.
AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds. Mosin: You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.
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AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
Mosin: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.
______________________________
AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
AR: What's recoil?
Mosin: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
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AK: Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.
AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Mosin: Your sight adjustment goes to 2 miles and you've actually tried it.
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AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
Mosin: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.
______________________________
AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.
AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
Mosin: Your rifle won a pole vault event.
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AK: You paid $350.
AR: You paid $900.
Mosin: You paid $59.95 actually, I paid $45.00
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AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.
AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
Mosin: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.
__________________________
AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
AR: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
Mosin: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your foxhole.
_____________________________
AK: Service life, 50 years.
AR: Service life, 40 years.
Mosin: Service life, 100 years, and counting.
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AK: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Mosin: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54r.
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AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.
AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith, it's under warranty!
Mosin: If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.
__________________________
AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.
AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
Mosin: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.
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AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".
AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
Mosin: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor, then watching "Enemy at the Gates".
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AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.
AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie.
Mosin: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob. ...which you cook by sticking your "components" on the bayonet and then firing a few rounds to utilize the incredible muzzle-flash.
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AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.
AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
Mosin: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.
__________________________
AK: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
AR: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
Mosin: Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and a paste made from Olga's ground up toenail clippings.
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AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Mosin: Cameras had not even been invented to photograph the young Sergei Mosin.
_____________________________
AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"
AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
Mosin: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the the yard to sleep in.

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Rob99VMI04]

Thats pretty good

[P95Carry]

That's great Matt - totally new to me and a fun read.

Thx

[retsupt99]

I do like my AR...facts were not far from the truth...

ret

[CombatEffective]

Well, I own no ARs, one AK, and three Mosins; so, guess which answers had me cheering? :)

[aepilotjim]

[CopperKnight]

The truth, all of it (OK, most).

I own an AK and a Mosin, but not an AR. The bit about the 2x4 to load the Mosin was one of the best parts.

[sailormnop]

Very funny!

I have an AR coming, and a friend of mine has an AK. I like the reliability of the AK, but it dishes out a bit of a beating.

[randytulsa2]

You gave me a hearty laugh to start my day. Thank you.

And (I own 12 Mosins), it's all TRUE.

[F350]

AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.
AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for Kentucky Bourbon and a hand rolled cigar but maybe that's just me

[Tros]

Very good post, haha.

[raevan]

To date I have none of those rifles, funny just the same.

[SixBravo]

I just got a Mosin. Pretty good shape. I spent 5 hours cleaning it and attempting to remove cosmoline.

But yeah, that may have been one of the best posts, ever. lol