Brutally Honest Versions of Your Job Title

Brutally Honest Versions of Your Job Title

This is a discussion on Brutally Honest Versions of Your Job Title within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; "Alternate takes on job titles, devoid of euphemism." My favorite: " PR Director" aka "Offensive Tweet Retractor" Fast Company...

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    Member Array Naufragia's Avatar
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    Brutally Honest Versions of Your Job Title

    "Alternate takes on job titles, devoid of euphemism."

    My favorite: "PR Director" aka "Offensive Tweet Retractor"

    Fast Company


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    Quote Originally Posted by Naufragia View Post
    "Alternate takes on job titles, devoid of euphemism."

    My favorite: "PR Director" aka "Offensive Tweet Retractor"

    Fast Company
    Funny article! My favorite one is PR director too, but CFO was good too!
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    Senior Member Array herpjunkie's Avatar
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    Cool idea.

    I'm a civil engineer, a municipal design/transportation engineer to be specific. I design the potholed roads you drive on, the water lines that bring you contaminated tap water (lol), the sanitary sewer lines that carry your poop away, the storm sewers that overflow and flood your yard, etc.

    I know how to design flawless systems, systems that work and will last decades, but I'm limited by economics. That's a lie, I'm actually limited by the amount of funds politicians divert and steal from the coffers that fund such work.

    Anyway, I'm swamped just now and can't think of a brutally honest job title. I was going to think of something clever and fitting, but now I'm out of time.

    Maybe someone else can help me out?
    manolito and gatorbait51 like this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by herpjunkie View Post
    Cool idea.

    I'm a civil engineer, a municipal design/transportation engineer to be specific. I design the potholed roads you drive on, the water lines that bring you contaminated tap water (lol), the sanitary sewer lines that carry your poop away, the storm sewers that overflow and flood your yard, etc.

    I know how to design flawless systems, systems that work and will last decades, but I'm limited by economics. That's a lie, I'm actually limited by the amount of funds politicians divert and steal from the coffers that fund such work.

    Anyway, I'm swamped just now and can't think of a brutally honest job title. I was going to think of something clever and fitting, but now I'm out of time.

    Maybe someone else can help me out?

    How about, "Responsible for everything, in charge of nothing".
    gatorbait51 likes this.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

    http://www.timeanddate.com/countdown...eaves%20office

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    "Solids and Liquids Disposition Manager".
    gatorbait51 and Secret Spuk like this.
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    Distinguished Member Array CWOUSCG's Avatar
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    Shucks, I thought this was one of those sites you plug in a name and it spits out a warped name! I was wondering what it would do with Naval Engineer! LOL

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    Distinguished Member Array CWOUSCG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herpjunkie View Post
    Cool idea.

    I'm a civil engineer, a municipal design/transportation engineer to be specific. I design the potholed roads you drive on, the water lines that bring you contaminated tap water (lol), the sanitary sewer lines that carry your poop away, the storm sewers that overflow and flood your yard, etc.

    I know how to design flawless systems, systems that work and will last decades, but I'm limited by economics. That's a lie, I'm actually limited by the amount of funds politicians divert and steal from the coffers that fund such work.

    Anyway, I'm swamped just now and can't think of a brutally honest job title. I was going to think of something clever and fitting, but now I'm out of time.

    Maybe someone else can help me out?
    Pothole Positioner

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    Senior Member Array Chad0724's Avatar
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    I am a Network Engineer, aka the guy who plugs in cords
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    One of my favorites was when atctimmy referred to air traffic control as "cat herder".
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    I'm a Workers' Comp Investigator, I get the video of people who may be cheating the System. I use covert video cams, night vision, do IME (Independent medical Evaluation) I'm the guy who follows you around and video your activities GOOD or BAD. I report what I see, and not embellish it. testify in Court. I do LOCAS investigatins (accident scene stuff)Notmuch Marital, but I've doen it. BEEN CHASED by Claimants...(ALWAYS FUN) I'm a SIU investigator and my "region" is Ma, NH, ME, VT, upper State NY. Done some high profile cases, and get to do things the PD can't... Caught Ministers, and other people who you'd think would NEVER do a scam off the system.
    Part time, I sell guns.... always a good time...
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    Graphic designer: Lead interpreter of contradictory suggestions. I call it "paints turds gold."
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    I am a retired consultant.

    Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time, charges you enormous amounts of money for the information plus travel expenses, and keeps your watch.
    I carry a gun, because a Cop is too heavy.

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    Distinguished Member Array 5lima30ret's Avatar
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    Along that same line we have a septic pumping company that has the following posted on their pumper tank "yesterdays meals on wheels"!
    Retired Police Lieutenant, Retired USAF Reserve, Glock Armorer, NC CWP, HR-218 Qualified
    Second generation American, Third generation Legionnaire
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5lima30ret View Post
    Along that same line we have a septic pumping company that has the following posted on their pumper tank "yesterdays meals on wheels"!


    We have a similar company around here with the slogan "#1 in the #2 Business!"

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    Senior Member Array herpjunkie's Avatar
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    I like that one

    Quote Originally Posted by CWOUSCG View Post
    Pothole Positioner
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