Light reconnaissance attacks have begun

This is a discussion on Light reconnaissance attacks have begun within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Day 1193, The Natives are becoming emboldened. Today while at the southern border of our property line with my canine, I encountered what I believe ...

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    Member Array Pyzik's Avatar
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    Light reconnaissance attacks have begun

    Day 1193,
    The Natives are becoming emboldened.
    Today while at the southern border of our property line with my canine, I encountered what I believe to be one of their scouts.
    I heard his battle cry only moments before I saw him, charging toward me. I could see the hatred in his eyes, the anger that we've intruded their territory.
    I took defensive positions and his assault wavered. I knew then was my chance at counter attack.
    Armed with only a small limb I hurled it at my attacker.
    With marksman like precision my volley made it's mark, the scout retreating into the trees.

    In the past few weeks I've been documenting an increase in reconnaissance from the natives and I now believe they've installed a barracks upon our southern border.
    Upon my return home from my duties today, offensive measures will begin to be implemented.


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    They've infiltrated my attic and are monitoring our every move.

    Troop morale is low, as my dog has come to realize that he's too slow and fat to be effective in any form of engagement.

    One of the enemy did make a tactical error in navigating the roadway and turned himself into a large, flat, hairy pancake.

    Troop's morale improved a little over that one.
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    I have been taking out their ground pounding allies via sniper actions. Rock Chuck and whistle pigs are paying a heavy price out West.
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    Distinguished Member Array DingBat's Avatar
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    ...5 gallon bucket w/10 inches water in the bottom. 2x4 going up the side. they drown in spades. this is the most effective weapon of mass tree rat destruction I've found.

    Shooting them is far more satisfying.
    Beans, Bullets, and Bandages. The only thing better than being ready is not having to use it!

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    Member Array Pyzik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DingBat View Post
    ...5 gallon bucket w/10 inches water in the bottom. 2x4 going up the side. they drown in spades. this is the most effective weapon of mass tree rat destruction I've found.

    Shooting them is far more satisfying.
    Booby traps! I like the way you think!
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    Distinguished Member Array DingBat's Avatar
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    ha! booby traps implies outsmarting your enemy and luring them to a sneaky death. Put the board as a ramp leading up and the morons will fall in in droves. up on the mountain I would come out in the morning and find 2,3, a half dozen floating in the water. may be cute, but they ain't smart.

    course a relaxing day in the back yard with a pellet rifle gives you practice shooting small moving targets...
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    Cool

    Quote Originally Posted by Pyzik View Post
    Day 1193,
    The Natives are becoming emboldened.
    Today while at the southern border of our property line with my canine, I encountered what I believe to be one of their scouts.
    I heard his battle cry only moments before I saw him, charging toward me. I could see the hatred in his eyes, the anger that we've intruded their territory.
    I took defensive positions and his assault wavered. I knew then was my chance at counter attack.
    Armed with only a small limb I hurled it at my attacker.
    With marksman like precision my volley made it's mark, the scout retreating into the trees.

    In the past few weeks I've been documenting an increase in reconnaissance from the natives and I now believe they've installed a barracks upon our southern border.
    Upon my return home from my duties today, offensive measures will begin to be implemented.

    Dude you've had WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE THIS MORNING. Have your SO give you a nice massage then the 2 of you slide into the hot tub or sauna. Have a nice cocktail or some martinis and then some BBQ with hushpuppies and curly fries.

    Then head to your drafting table and start designing your Trebuchet.
    ]
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    Distinguished Member Array shadowwalker's Avatar
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    Did you know that there tails are in fact antenna's that's how there others start showing up.

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    By the looks of the picture he's staring at a nut.
    Its their favorite food... I would hide if I was you....
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    You know normal I all for live and let live but the fact that they carry plauge ...Well kind of softens my attidue a bit ...


    I also see why 22 shorts are around ...
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    Member Array dhuffman's Avatar
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    We have aerial assault (red tailed hawks) vehicles to dispatch any around, also infantry (barn cats) to destroy them on the ground.
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    I believe my fortifications are about to be breached.

    There is evidence of sapper teams undermining my defenses.


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    They can be a little cagy at times so you'll have to make sure your perimeter it set up properly. If they go on the attack you could be overrun.
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    We feed them and enjoy watching them come to our back sliding door peeking in to get more bread. The dogs enjoy chasing them - we consider them a pleasure but if they were in the attack then we would put up something to stop it. Just another one of God's creatures. We do have some in the area that are called coon squirrels and they are larger than the regular ones (grey/brown) and have a black mask, very pretty.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xader View Post
    I believe my fortifications are about to be breached.

    There is evidence of sapper teams undermining my defenses.


    Cripes! you got them in Oregon, too?!! It's a nationwide underground movement, I tell you... They're in the trees, they're underground, they're everywhere!

    WE

    ARE

    DOOMED!

    DOOMED,

    I

    SAY!


    sigh... no sense going to battle when we've already lost.
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    Rats!
    It could be worse!
    I suppose

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