February 3rd, 2005 11:58 PM
Ordering pizza in 2008
[This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that
we're not sure how funny this really is...]
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office E-mail address is
email@example.com. I see you're calling me from home.
Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've
got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll likeit.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your
2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
Howlong will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting
the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see
here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this..
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.
February 4th, 2005 06:32 AM
Dont think it will be 2008 when that starts happening .. if you call some plaes now from you home phone they all ready kknow who you are and you addy
February 4th, 2005 08:14 AM
That's caller ID for you!
Originally Posted by Bud White
EOD - Initial success or total failure
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