Ordering pizza in 2008

This is a discussion on Ordering pizza in 2008 within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; [This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that we're not sure how funny this really is...] Operator: Thank ...

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Thread: Ordering pizza in 2008

  1. #1
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    Ordering pizza in 2008

    [This is so close to what is probably going to be happening in 2008 that
    we're not sure how funny this really is...]

    Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID
    number?

    Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.

    Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.

    Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
    6102049998-45-54610.

    Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
    and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office E-mail address is
    eehan@home.net. I see you're calling me from home.

    Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?

    Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.

    Customer: The HSS, what is that?

    Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
    only 15 seconds to your ordering time.

    Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
    Special pizzas.

    Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.

    Customer: Whaddya mean?

    Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've
    got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National
    Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.

    Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?

    Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll likeit.

    Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?

    Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
    library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.

    Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your
    2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.

    Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
    credit card balance is over its limit.

    Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets
    here.

    Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn
    also.

    Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    Howlong will it take?

    Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir.

    If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting
    the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.

    Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?

    Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
    got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
    yesterday.

    Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#

    Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
    4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
    September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see
    here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional
    Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    Customer: (speechless)

    Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?

    Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..

    Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
    offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this..

    Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array Bud White's Avatar
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    Dont think it will be 2008 when that starts happening .. if you call some plaes now from you home phone they all ready kknow who you are and you addy

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bud White
    Dont think it will be 2008 when that starts happening .. if you call some plaes now from you home phone they all ready kknow who you are and you addy
    That's caller ID for you!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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