Alternate Idea To A Nursing Home

This is a discussion on Alternate Idea To A Nursing Home within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; For those of us in our golden years (or quickly on the way there), here's a way to avoid that nursing home. * * * ...

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Thread: Alternate Idea To A Nursing Home

  1. #1
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    Alternate Idea To A Nursing Home

    For those of us in our golden years (or quickly on the way there), here's a way to avoid that nursing home.


    * * * * *

    On a cruise through the Mediterranean aboard a Princess liner, we noticed an elderly lady. I also noticed that ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with her.


    I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises.

    As we left the dining room one evening I stopped to say hello. We chatted and I asked, "You've been on this ship for the last four cruises?” She replied, "Yes, that's true."

    I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home.”

    So, maybe there will be no nursing home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I could get on a cruise ship.

    The average cost for a good nursing home is $200 per day. I can get a long-term discount and senior-discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

    1) Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

    2) I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day).

    3) The ship has three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and great shows every night.

    4) They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

    5) They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

    6) I will get to meet new people every few days (of course that will also happen if I get Alzheimer’s).

    7) T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

    8) Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

    9) If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.


    Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, and Asia? There is always a ship ready to go. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

    And don't forget, when you die, they can just dump you over the side at no charge.
    Heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it has to be done, regardless of the consequences

    "I like when the enemy shoots at me; then I know where the ******** are and can kill them."
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    DE OPPRESSO LIBER

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  3. #2
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    I will join you on those cruises in a few years.

    ~A
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    The only problem I see is that Medicare probably doesn't cover any of it. Sounds like a good idea though. Plus you rack up the cruise points and start cruising free for at least part of the time.

    -Scott-

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    apcarmed - I'm Ready Now.....

    Let's check your theory out right now so we'll know if it's a feasible idea during those "golden years."
    I'm ready.
    How about finding us a ship with some skeet shooting we'll powder up some clay over the ocean?
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    whose gonna lather me up with sun lotion??? JK...

    ~A

    Wife and I are looking to go to Maui Hawaii for a tactical handgun course in Feb of 06.
    Fave Quotes

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
    Edmund Burke

    The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
    Henry Ward Beecher

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    Wonder what they will say when I want to install my safe in the stateroom?

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    Yeah but your safe and its content would make the boat/vessel/craft lilt to one side. LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by nighthawk
    Wonder what they will say when I want to install my safe in the stateroom?
    Fave Quotes

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
    Edmund Burke

    The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
    Henry Ward Beecher

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    Quote Originally Posted by APachon
    whose gonna lather me up with sun lotion???
    It was sounding pretty good before this... :poke:
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

  10. #9
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    LMAO... :cheerlead

    Quote Originally Posted by Bumper
    It was sounding pretty good before this... :poke:
    Fave Quotes

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
    Edmund Burke

    The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
    Henry Ward Beecher

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    Quote Originally Posted by APachon
    whose gonna lather me up with sun lotion??? JK...

    ~A

    Wife and I are looking to go to Maui Hawaii for a tactical handgun course in Feb of 06.
    That will likely cost extra. In my case alot extra.

    -Scott-

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    Quote Originally Posted by APachon
    Yeah but your safe and its content would make the boat/vessel/craft lilt to one side. LOL

    What you guys only have one safe?

    -Scott-

  13. #12
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    The lotioning up or the trip to Maui???

    ~A

    Quote Originally Posted by Scott
    That will likely cost extra. In my case alot extra.

    -Scott-
    Fave Quotes

    The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live!!!

    All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
    Edmund Burke

    The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.
    Henry Ward Beecher

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