A Speech We'll Probably Never Hear...But Would Love To!

This is a discussion on A Speech We'll Probably Never Hear...But Would Love To! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As ...

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Thread: A Speech We'll Probably Never Hear...But Would Love To!

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Exclamation A Speech We'll Probably Never Hear...But Would Love To!

    WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


    My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Evil Iraq regime has been completed.

    Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

    This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days It is now to begin the reckoning.

    Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries
    which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is
    short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

    The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the
    world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
    distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

    Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

    The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

    Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

    In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this
    money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

    On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

    Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

    I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with
    France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

    I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
    likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
    try not ticking us off for a change.

    Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt
    government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple
    extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am
    going to put em? Yep, border security So start doing something with
    your oil.

    Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -
    starting now.


    We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for
    decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
    decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.
    They care.

    It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
    citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

    Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the
    world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to
    eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America.

    Thank you and good night.

    If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

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  3. #2
    Member Array pappy's Avatar
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    It's sad but if someone came out and said that they would do that, I would probably vote for them. Most of the points make sense, some things may not work out to well for us, but heck, we are going down hill already, can't hurt much more.

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    VIP Member Array raevan's Avatar
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    Well you all write in my name on the ballot and have all your friends do the same and I will give the speech.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExSoldier View Post
    It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America.

    Thank you and good night.


    List #2 is the excrement list.

    One addition:

    "I would like to make it clear, that the VERY NEXT nation that is involved in ANY attack on US interests will immediately be eliminated with nuclear weapons. No discussion, no apologies.....& NO EXCUSES."
    Quemadmodum gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est.-Seneca

    "If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid. If I have a gun, what do I have to be paranoid about?" -Clint Smith

    "An unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." -Jeff Cooper

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExSoldier View Post
    WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?
    Whoever gave that speech would get my vote in a heartbeat!

  7. #6
    Senior Member Array Exodus's Avatar
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    Very Nice.

    Thinking of running for office?

    We'd all vote for you Ex!

    Thanks, Soldier.
    "To my mind it is wholly irresponsible to go into the world incapable of preventing violence, injury, crime, and death. How feeble is the mindset to accept defenselessness. How unnatural. How cheap. How cowardly. How pathetic." Ted Nugent

    SIC VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM.

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    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    I'd be happy if we just cut the foreign aid for no reason, let alone for this one. It's already a complete waste for American taxpayers.

    Although, I guess it would pay for the costs of the Iraq War in a few years.

    A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are
    likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to
    try not ticking us off for a change.
    This is crap. So, we're going to violate Canada's sovereignity because they didn't go to a war that we started? Let's just raise the Nazi flag then. We also give them no aid and they are helping us in Afghanistan... I stopped reading the neocon hugfest after that dumb line, so I don't know what else it says...
    Last edited by SammyIamToday; January 20th, 2007 at 06:10 PM.
    ...He suggested that "every American citizen" should own a rifle and train with it on firing ranges "at every courthouse." -Chesty Puller

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    Member Array General Geoff's Avatar
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    Severing ties and making enemies with all countries who didn't help us during the iraqi terror war, and then adopting a complete isolationist policy, is ABSOLUTE HYPOCRISY, as the nations who didn't help us were just practicing that very same thing.

    A better idea is to withdraw all foreign aid from all countries, but NOT burn bridges by severing ties. If one of our friendly countries gets into a war we think is just, then and only then will we deliberate and decide whether to help them with capital, troops, equipment, or a combination thereof.
    Discretion is the better part of valour; and a virtue beyond reproach.
    Pennsylvania Firearm Owners Association

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    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Well.....maybe.

    Quote Originally Posted by General Geoff View Post
    Severing ties and making enemies with all countries who didn't help us during the iraqi terror war, and then adopting a complete isolationist policy, is ABSOLUTE HYPOCRISY, as the nations who didn't help us were just practicing that very same thing.

    A better idea is to withdraw all foreign aid from all countries, but NOT burn bridges by severing ties. If one of our friendly countries gets into a war we think is just, then and only then will we deliberate and decide whether to help them with capital, troops, equipment, or a combination thereof.
    I think that simply refusing to assist us in the Iraq Invasion isn't enough to rank as cause to sever all ties, but there are a number of nations who consistently work at undermining our interests overseas and worse, actively supply our enemies. For example if ever we get a look at the remains of those Iranian nuclear facilities (assuming they're not irradiated) we'll see a lot of labels reading Made in France, Made in Russia or Made in China. There will be others along those lines.

    Folks who've been knifing us in the back all these years deserve to get things out in the open. We need to stand up and assert to Saudi Arabia that we know and acknowledge that there is a reason that 19 of their citizens killed over three THOUSAND of ours. That we know that they're commiserating with us on one hand and slipping the terrorists millions of dollars on the other. We really need to be able to tell OPEC to go PI$$ up a rope with their oil and do so with conviction!

    The French have gone communist without a doubt. But I think they've got their collectivist noses too high in the air with that smug superiority to notice that their about to go Islamist. Cut them and their stupid wine loose and let them fend for themselves.

    I also agree 100% with the concept of bringing our boys home from ALL over where the locals take our money and spit on our flag. Take those troops and pout them on the Mexican border. The very next time a Mexican soldier pokes his nose onto US soil, with the intent of running screen for a drug or people smuggler or worse with a bunch of AQ in tow, we need to blow them to MARS.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

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    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Geoff View Post
    Severing ties and making enemies with all countries who didn't help us during the iraqi terror war, and then adopting a complete isolationist policy, is ABSOLUTE HYPOCRISY, as the nations who didn't help us were just practicing that very same thing.
    Not only is that hypocrisy, but it's complete hypocrisy to want to withdraw from the UN for undermining our sovereignity and pushing their globalization/anti-gun agenda and then to want to do the same thing to others (just on different issues).

    That speech is a complete joke.
    ...He suggested that "every American citizen" should own a rifle and train with it on firing ranges "at every courthouse." -Chesty Puller

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    Distinguished Member Array AutoFan's Avatar
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    I don't see where pulling our troops out of countries that work to oppose the United States of America, or cutting off aid to countries that oppose the USA, or ending our subsidy of an organization that opposes not only our policies, but the very basis of our country (the UN, in case you were uncertain) and then rewarding the countries that do support the USA, as being hypocritical.

    We were trying to attack terrorism, influence dictatorships and free millions, while the Germans, French, Russians, Chinese and others were trying to keep making money illicitly and cover up their parts in aiding Iraq to re-arm.

    I would vote for someone making that speech.

    The only problem is that in a few years the world would be such a mess that we would get sucked into an even worse set of problems than we are stuck with now internationally. And all the bleeding hearts would be at the front of the line demanding we get involved.

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    VIP Member Array SammyIamToday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AutoFan View Post
    I don't see where pulling our troops out of countries that work to oppose the United States of America, or cutting off aid to countries that oppose the USA, or ending our subsidy of an organization that opposes not only our policies, but the very basis of our country (the UN, in case you were uncertain) and then rewarding the countries that do support the USA, as being hypocritical.
    Withdrawing troops and removing funding aren't the issue. It's doing those things and then turning around and being the bully like the UN that is the problem. That speech calls for us to tell Canada to shape up and do what we want or else. What the heck is that? Not only are they helping us in Afghanistan, but we don't give them any aid money. They don't have any responsibility to help us in Iraq. That's straight up hypocrisy.
    ...He suggested that "every American citizen" should own a rifle and train with it on firing ranges "at every courthouse." -Chesty Puller

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    New Member Array foob's Avatar
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    I don't see where pulling our troops out of countries that work to oppose the United States of America, or cutting off aid to countries that oppose the USA, or ending our subsidy of an organization that opposes not only our policies, but the very basis of our country (the UN, in case you were uncertain) and then rewarding the countries that do support the USA, as being hypocritical.
    Er... I'm pretty sure the countries with US bases in them will be pretty happy to see the soldiers go, especially the citizens. I'm sorry but it's the US that wants to have those bases for military and political influence and geographical advantages.

    You really think the US government gives aid to countries out of the kindness of their heart? Just because they have too much money to spare? Seriously, the US gains both tangible and intangible benefits from giving aid to countries. Just because nobody bothered to explain it to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

    It's late and I'm gonna just provide a flamebait quote in response to the speech (half serious, half jest)

    what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
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    Unhappy

    Quote Originally Posted by foob View Post
    Just because nobody bothered to explain it to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's late and I'm gonna just provide a flamebait quote in response to the speech (half serious, half jest)
    Foob, you're NEW so I'm going to try and gently nip this in the bud. We don't DO these kinds of comments here. I take this ALL the way serious and NO jest and it wasn't even aimed at me! This is why this forum is getting (well has been for me since I've been here) so popular we don't allow .... EVER .... "flaming!" In short, your "flame bait" quote can get you banned. So settle down and read the rules and sit for awhile and WATCH how it's done. Anytime I walk into a new situation I like to lurk awhile so I keep my mouth shut and listen (or read as the case may be) so I can orient myself to the terrain. Take heed.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

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    Foob - the ''flamebait'' quote is certainly unwarranted and does not come over as remotely funny. It might as well have been your own words.

    As Ex says - this forum is a place where we do NOT permit such comments, as they are overtly personal attack in nature - and criticism of other's posts can be made a lot more tactfully and yet still make a polite point.

    The thread covers much contentious material but it should be possible to debate matters with courtesy. If the trend goes downhill the thread will close.
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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