Raising a Daughter

Raising a Daughter

This is a discussion on Raising a Daughter within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; A member posted a thread a few days ago with some of the best advice I have ever heard concerning raising a daughter in today's ...

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Thread: Raising a Daughter

  1. #1
    Member Array LegalMonkey's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    San Carlos, California

    Raising a Daughter

    A member posted a thread a few days ago with some of the best advice I have ever heard concerning raising a daughter in today's society. I should have printed his fine words out immediately, but got distracted and now I can't even find it. Somebody please help.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Array elrey718's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    what was it about?
    “Do you have any idea how hard it would be to live with yourself if your loved ones were attacked and killed, and you had to stand there helplessly because you were unprepared for that day?”


  3. #3
    Member Array PaulBk's Avatar
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    Apr 2005
    Washington State

    Negative GhostRider, the Pattern is Full

    Not sure if this was the site. I just did an advanced search of all open forums here using 'raising' and 'daughter' and only got a couple of hits in the entire last month. Dropping the 'raising' and only searching all forums for 'daughter' also yielded negative results.

    Maybe it was somewhere else?

    Hero's aren't born, they're cornered - According to Jim

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Holdcard's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Phoenix, Az.

    Application to date my daughter


    This may not be what you're looking for, but I thought it was hilarious.

    I remember when my daughter first started dating, after the introduction she would ask if she could show him daddy's guns. The answer was always YES.


  5. #5
    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Mar 2006
    Here it is...I didn't get the links...but yes, it was posted in this forum...

    Raising Girls That Pimps and Thugs will Hate
    By Doug Giles

    f you bring a little girl into this world, then it is your job to make certain she’s grounded. That’s right, Pappy . . . you are the principal player in keeping your young woman from being the next Anna Nicole Smith.

    I’ve got two daughters. One is about to go to college, and the other just turned 15. When these little female charges popped out of their mommy’s belly several years ago, I felt this thing called “responsibility” hit me like a nun chuck regarding their upbringing.

    I didn’t sluff off my role in their lives onto my wife, my church, government schools, day care, a nanny, other relatives, TV, Sesame Street, or “the village” to fill my boots. I, along with my lovely wife, got them here, and ******, it’s our job—especially my job as Alpha male of the Giles castle—to set them up internally and externally for greatness.

    Living in Miami I knew that I would have to pony up and be a major player in their lives if they were going to escape being part of the local teen fart cloud; I would have to instill principles in them in order to keep them from teenage wasteland. In other words, I’m going to have to be a dad in the traditional sense of the word. Isn’t that weird?
    Having been pretty successful, heretofore, with the upbringing of my righteous and rowdy girls, here and now I will unveil my secret recipe for raising my zesty señoritas.

    Here’s numero uno on my to-do list for raising girls that pimps and thugs will hate:

    1. Teach Them How to Fight. With etiquette having flown out the window a solid 20 years ago and our neighborhoods now seeing perverts and pedophiles a plenty, young and old men are now extremely embolden to be groping, brutish and offensive horn dogs.

    Since I would never ever want my darlings to be at the mercy of one these palm pilots, I have made certain that my girls know how to severely disable a bad guy and, if need be, kill him. Not even out of their teens, both my daughters are Gracie Jui Jitsu assistant instructors and have extensive training with knives and guns, both in using and removing them from idiots who might have to die in order to learn something. That’s what I call, “Girl Power.”

    2. Teach Them How to Shoot Guns. With demoniacs now boldly going into Amish Schools and shooting innocent little girls, and with insane, should-be-dead-and-roasting-in-hell perverts and pedophiles prowling our parks and picking on our chicks, I’m a zealous advocate for women getting packed, stacked and ready to whack.

    Fathers, I wouldn’t have your girl learn how to just barely use a weapon; I would be aiming for her to be able to emulate Angelina Jolie’s character in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah, I would teach her to be proficient in all forms of death dealing with all types of guns.

    My advice to you fathers when it comes to guns is: start them off early (10 years old) and slow. With a proper introduction, I’ve never met a girl who (once she got past an initial squeamishness) didn’t absolutely positively love shooting guns.

    A mild .38 Special revolver, or a .380 automatic pistol plus a .22 rifle and a nice 20-gauge shotgun that fits her well (very important), is a good way to get the party started. A year of you and her regularly hammering targets down range should set her up to be a girl no one wants to get PO’ed.

    Finally, make sure she gets a “concealed weapons” permit as soon as she can. Remember Dad, the toe tag belongs on the assailant, not your young lady.

    3. Teach Them How to Sense BS. Princeton Philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt states, “One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullsh*t." Call it non-sense, truth bending, reality styling, Mark Foley-itus, mendacity, Air America or whatever, you do not need to be the coldest beer in the fridge to recognize that lies, hype and spin are now seeing more action than Bill Clinton would at the Hooters in Little Rock. Now granted, most gobbledygook is harmless. However, some BS is disastrous. Case in point: the amorous, nauseous oozings that a Joran Van der Sloot excreted, and that were, unfortunately, bought by Natalie Holloway. Not discerning this Dutch dillweed’s depravity cost Natalie her life.

    Speaking of Natalie and bad dates: Girls, if ‘red flags’ start going off in your head, your skin begins to crawl up your arm and your gut revolts against your eyes and ears—then you might want to pay attention to what your body and your intuition are telling you.

    Yes, your sixth sense is trying to tell you there is something awry with Mr. Nice Guy. Don’t blow off this in-house salvo; rather, get well acquainted with your internal ticker. It’ll help you see through the veil of crap most bad guys live behind.

    4. Teach Them How to Rebel. Dad, having a girl with a well whetted BS detector is not enough. Sometimes, when the twaddle is egregious, you’ve got to teach your little darling to revolt against the purveyors of it. I think the greatest need for rebels with a cause is within the homes of families who have traditional American values. Most families of faith are simply way too nice.

    Nice dad, if you’re going to send your daughter to a state run university, then you’ve got to teach your lass to not just sit there in class being a good girl and taking whatever the secular “progressives” shove down her throat. You must teach to her to deftly defy defunct dogmas and not turn a blonde eye to bad ideas.

    Yeah, traditional father, teach your girl to feel proud and comfortable with not being a communist, with believing in God, with our nation’s spiritual heritage and with not having her genitals turned into a campus Jiffy Lube.

    5. Teach Them How to Be Classy (That’s mostly my wife’s job.) Look, I’m all for girls being Tom-boy rough around the edges. I like an earthy woman. My youngest daughter can burp so loud that it shakes a whole restaurant. It is quite amazing. That said, dad, keep your girls from being as gross as men are allowed to be. Men are supposed to be semi-vile beasts. Not you ladies.

    Girls have now been liberated to be just as vulgar as men are. Girls, don’t try to be as base as us. We suck. It’s the feminine difference that keeps us in line. Your grace and mystery keep us in balance. Therefore, be prettier, daintier and more honorable—and we’ll conquer the planet for you. By being elegant and tasteful, you give us a reason to clip our braidable nose hairs, to learn which fork to use at dinner and to stop scratching our polyps when we’re in public. Let your girl know, however, that not being a gross, rowdy and disgusting slut might cause her to not get invited to every keg party. But she shouldn’t sweat it, because her tastefulness will cause her to excel in life and land her a worthy man.

    6. Teach Them to Despise Anti-Intellectualism. The Beatles are credited with mainstreaming drugs more quickly than anyone else within the West. I credit Paris Hilton and the rest of her lockstep, anti-intellectual, ogling ilk for making it cool to be a credulous clod. Young girl, listen: Paris can afford to own dumb. Paris is filthy rich and has a lot of lawyers retained. If you follow her moronic lead and stay daft, well . . . all I can say is, “I hope you like eating government cheese and living in a van down by the river.”

    Dad, provide your girl with a killer library covering a variety of topics. Start with the easy to read version of the Bible. Then get her everything R.C. Sproul’s written on Theology. After that, line the shelves with biographies of productive world shakers. Then get a good tome that overviews the major philosophers/philosophies. In addition, stack her shelves with world history books and the history of the West. Last but not least, stock the Classics. If you provide these pithy works and encourage your girl to imbibe deeply on them, I guarantee you won’t have to worry about your daughter drinking bong water with Tara Reid while clubbing on South Beach.

    7. Teach Them to Be Visionaries. Teach your daughter to dream big and not to settle for personal, national, cultural or ecclesiastical mediocrity. Teach her, by faith, to see what is unseen and to work her disciplined butt off to achieve what she desires versus that which culture or others have prescribed for her.

    8. Teach Them How to Party. Teach your girls that if they go out partying, to be aware that lame guys with hackneyed existences have found ways around having to get a life before they try to get your girl. It is called, as you all know, date rape drugs. With the advent of roofies and ecstasy, losers are able to work around a girl’s brain and body (if they can lace your drink) by getting you so smashed that you throw off any inhibitions (or go unconscious) so they can try their ham-fisted moves on you. So, to avoid being French kissed, raped, impregnated, kidnapped or murdered by these slugs:

    1. Don’t take a drink from a stranger. Receive your drink only, only, from the bartender; watch him make it, and then have him hand it directly to you.

    2. Don’t leave your drink lying around where Goofy can drop a roofie in it.

    3. Don’t party with brain-dead buddies. Hang out with friends who keep their wits about them when they’re having a good time, who will not let you leave with three local peons or get ridiculously wasted, who have well-honed BS detectors and who will not let you get behind the wheel of your 330I if you’ve had seven shots of Cabo Wabo.

    9. Teach Them the Value of Hard Work. Tell your daughter and show her by example that the harder she works, the luckier she’ll get. Make sure she doesn’t have an entitlement mentality towards you, a sugar daddy, church or our government.

    10. Teach Them the Importance of Traditional Convictions. You do not have to be a tongue talkin’, “on fire,” Pentecostal father to teach your little girl the importance of faith in God, how to pray and the value of biblical values. This often ridiculed biblical infrastructure just happens to be a major part of why the west is the best. And dad, don’t pass spiritual training off to your wife. She’s only part of your girl’s spiritual picture.

  6. #6
    Member Array LegalMonkey's Avatar
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    Yeah, that's it - Raising girls that pimps and thugs will hate. Thanks. Important reading for parents everywhere.

  7. #7
    VIP Member
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    We are missing three days of posts somehow. Bumper I am sure bending the ear of someone at our former hosting service about this whole fiasco. He already told them that he would see them in court if they lost any of our database. Don't know what will happen, but it will be interesting. Anyway the post about raising daughters was posted in the period between the morning of Jan 28 which is the last of the database that we have and the morning of Jan 31 when Host Excellence took the site down. We really hope to get the other data back, but at the present don't know whether we will or not.

    Also for your info the photo gallery does not work at present. It probably won't be fixed until we move to our permanent server in a few days.

    Thanks for hanging in there with us. When the new server is up and working we will forget about the problems of the last month or so.

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array lowflyer's Avatar
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    Middle Earth
    I added teach them to hunt and fish, and take them "fun" shopping.
    Whatever doesn't kill you postpones the inevitable.

  9. #9
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    A very good read. I have saved it.

    I have a daughter. I like this narrative a lot.
    ,=====o00o _
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    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array BruceGibson's Avatar
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    Northwest Florida
    Good stuff.

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