A cow died at my place Friday night

A cow died at my place Friday night

This is a discussion on A cow died at my place Friday night within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; At 10:30 PM I was watching TV with my Grandson, when an ATV came racing up my driveway. I stepped outside to see who it ...

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Thread: A cow died at my place Friday night

  1. #1
    Member Array Grantspastor's Avatar
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    A cow died at my place Friday night

    At 10:30 PM I was watching TV with my Grandson, when an ATV came racing up my driveway. I stepped outside to see who it was and a neighbor from a mile or so down the road said his cow was loose on my property. He bought it a week ago, and within a few minutes of turning it loose into his pasture it jumped the fence and took off into the woods. They had been trying to find it for several days, and somehow managed to track it onto my place Friday night. They tried to rope it, but were unsuccessful. He said "I think I'm going to have to shoot it. Do you mind?" I said no problem. A few seconds later a couple of rounds from his 30-30 ended the renegade beast's career as an escape artist. Somehow we managed to wrestle it onto his flat-bed truck and off it went to the butcher.

    I live in the woods, so no issues with shooting cows in the neighborhood.

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    Somehow we managed to wrestle it onto his flat-bed truck and off it went to the butcher.
    You or you neighbor must be NFL linebackers.
    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." C.S. Lewis

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    That's the way it is "in the country".

    Some cows are just trouble-makers. I used to have 100 head and when it came time for vaccinations, there was always at least one that made a short day's work into a long one. The trouble-makers were always the first ones to go to the butcher and into the freezer.

    We used a backhoe and a chain to lift the cow onto a flatbed for the trip to the butcher.
    "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

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    Do you get any steaks for your efforts?
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    Member Array HotBrass45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    You or you neighbor must be NFL linebackers.
    I was thinking the same thing. I have enough trouble anymore getting a deer up into the jeep. I think it's time for a winch. Or a wench.

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    Senior Member Array pickwick's Avatar
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    That'd be some wench, lifting a cow into a truck.

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    Member Array HotBrass45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pickwick View Post
    That'd be some wench, lifting a cow into a truck.
    Maybe a couple wenches.
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    Senior Member Array pickwick's Avatar
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    Not long ago, I watched a state road crew working on a ditch on a country road by a pasture. One of them left a gate open and this big Jersey bull just came walking out onto the shoulder. Well, I saw them discussing it, and they decided to try to shoo the bull back in (I stopped my bike to watch this). They got shovels and a flag and walked toward the bull and started waving them at him and talking to him. He backed up for a few steps, then backed up a little slope and put his back to the fence. They kept talking to him from about ten feet away…then he snorted, tossed his head, and lowered it. I wish I had had a camera to catch the "Oh, my God, what have we done" looks on their faces. They turned around and ran and got in the trucks and van. The bull trotted out into the road, slung snot everywhere, snorted, tossed his head some more, then trotted back into the pasture on his own. I tried not to laugh too loud.

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    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotBrass45 View Post
    Maybe a couple wenches.
    ^^ Are you going to make sure they keep the Ale flowing?
    msgt/ret and goldshellback like this.
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    You don't want or need a wench. You need a fine country lady with a chain and a backhoe!
    “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive." C.S. Lewis

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    You don't want or need a wench. You need a fine country lady with a chain and a backhoe!
    Ok.

    And you bring the ale.
    "I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."

  12. #12
    Member Array gen3's Avatar
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    I grew up on a dairy farm with Holsteins, a normally docile sort of bovine. Each cow had a tag in her ear with a number. One of these happened to be ol' 29. That cow was born mad and I don't mean 'mad cow disease' I mean hateful.
    When she had her first calf she got worse. My cousin Johnny and I thought we would go have a look at the calf. Next thing I remember is us running like you know what. I looked over at Johnny and ol' 29 had her flat forehead on his back like she was pushing him along!
    Later we told my older brother about it. Of course he said he wasn't afraid of no cow! Next thing I remember is my bro flat on his back and ol' 29 just grinding away like she would push him to China.
    About that time here comes Dad with a chain wrapped around his fist to whoop ol' 29 off of my bro. As soon as the calf got grown enough Dad had ol' 29 slaughtered and wrapped in neat little brown paper packages.
    After a while Mom took a nice looking roast out of the deep-freeze and cooked it up nice with gravy, Sunday dinner style. And you no what? That roast was so tough and so rubbery we couldn't even eat it! Even the hamburger was totally inedible. The more you chewed the bigger it seemed to get in your mouth. Dad was gonna tough it out. The more Mom complained about it the more ridgid his jaw set.
    Finally he admitted defeat and capitulated. Mom threw out all the remaining packages without hesitation.
    I hope your neighbor's cow wasn't as mad as ol' 29.
    "...a rifle behind every blade of grass."

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    VIP Member Array JoJoGunn's Avatar
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    Cows loose in the "hood. I hate when that happens.

    At least they didn't tell you to "hold my beer and watch this" as they dispatched said renegade bovine to the next world.

    Sadly it's the youth of Cows today that have a total lack of respect for the rules.
    maxwell97, Gabill, gen3 and 1 others like this.
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    Distinguished Member Array elmacgyver0's Avatar
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    When I was young I had a van conversion I did myself it had a CB radio and external PA speaker hidden behind the grill. I was driving out in the country with a couple of my friends and we saw a herd of cows way off in a pasture. I stopped the van and told my friends that I could persuade the cows to all run over to the fence and take a crap. You should have seen the look on their faces when I did it.

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    VIP Member Array OldVet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaeger View Post
    You or you neighbor must be NFL linebackers.
    No, both are law-abiding.
    Retired USAF E-8. Lighten up and enjoy life because:
    Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid... Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth

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