Obituary

This is a discussion on Obituary within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for ...

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Thread: Obituary

  1. #1
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    Array Rock and Glock's Avatar
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    Unhappy Obituary

    Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense


    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

    • Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    • Why the early bird gets the worm;
    • Life isn't always fair and,
    • Maybe it was my fault.


    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason
    He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

    Richard

    NRA Life Member

    "But if they don't exist, how can a man see them?"

    "You may think I'm pompous, but actually I'm pedantic... let me explain the difference."

    "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever apologize for anything."

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  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Squawker's Avatar
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    Too true. Sigh....

  4. #3
    VIP Member Array CLASS3NH's Avatar
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    <-still remembers to think about Mr. Common Sense. Every day that goes by, he's remembered.
    Why Waltz when you can Rock-N-Roll

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    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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  6. #5
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    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
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    He will be missed...

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    So few keep his memory...
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  8. #7
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    Array Baby Hulk's Avatar
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    May WE never forget, or we're in a world of TROUBLE!!!
    It's not about the caliber you carry, it's about how you USE it.

    Acts 4:12
    (Mohammad Who?)

    1988 DIE HARD 2008
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  9. #8
    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    Sad but unfortunately true.
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

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    Senior Member Array INTJ's Avatar
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    <Moment of silence>
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    "Beware of the man who only owns one gun. He probably knows how to use it."

  11. #10
    Senior Member Array mark555's Avatar
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    It is unfortunate, some did not evan know he was alive.
    "Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
    - William Munny (Clint Eastwood in the Unfrogivin)

    “The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

    “My Idea of a fair fight is beating baby seals with a club”

  12. #11
    Member Array rcsnpr's Avatar
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    And also to bad Common sense was Never "Common".

  13. #12
    VIP Member Array obxned's Avatar
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    When I was just a kid, my grandfather used to say that common sense had gotten darn uncommon. That was more than 1/2 a century ago!
    "If we loose Freedom here, there's no place to escape to. This is the Last Place on Earth!" Ronald Reagan

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