A Letter from Wal-mart...

A Letter from Wal-mart...

This is a discussion on A Letter from Wal-mart... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; good one, i think you'll get a kick out of.... Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her ...

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Thread: A Letter from Wal-mart...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Array briansmech's Avatar
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    A Letter from Wal-mart...

    good one, i think you'll get a kick out of....


    Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse.

    Here's a letter sent to Mrs. Fenton------

    Dear Mrs. Fenton,

    Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

    Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what happened.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

    6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

    8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”

    9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

    10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

    11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

    12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

    13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

    14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

    And last, but not least .....

    15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

    Regards,
    Wal-Mart


  2. #2
    Member Array critterhog's Avatar
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    I've read this one B4. It still bought out a laugh.
    Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
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  3. #3
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    Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    That Bill Fenton gets everywhere LOL. Yep he has been ''written up'' for quite a while.
    asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway
    Hahaha.
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    Senior Member Array aimhigh's Avatar
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    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "You can say 'stop' or 'alto' or use any other word you think will work but I've found that a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much the universal language."

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  5. #5
    Senior Member Array downrange's Avatar
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    what else can i say...
    What's this button do?

  6. #6
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    Had To Print This One...

    :schild14:

    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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  7. #7
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    That guy should get a medal for being a genious for getting out of going shopping with his wife.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  8. #8
    Senior Member Array tegemu's Avatar
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    Thanx for a good chuckle.
    People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence in their behalf. - George Orwell

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    Member Array Smooth23's Avatar
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    Threadjack: Dakotaranger: Where'd you see that mailbox in your avatar? So help me god if I find one of those anywhere not under close guard I'm commiting a felony, I gotta have one!

  10. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    My blog

    And Yahoo

    Evidently the USPS is turning 200 mailboxes into R2D2 to promote a new stamp.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Funny stuff.

    Thanks.
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