New Husband Store.

This is a discussion on New Husband Store. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; NEW HUSBAND STORE. A store that sells new husbands has just opened on 5th Ave in New York City where women may go to choose ...

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Thread: New Husband Store.

  1. #1
    VIP Member
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    Talking New Husband Store.

    NEW HUSBAND STORE. A store that sells new husbands has just opened on 5th Ave in New York City where women may go to choose a husband. As you enter the store there is a list of instructions of how the store operates:

    “You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!!! There are six floors to the store and the attributes of the men increase as you ascend the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor but once you choose to go up to the next floor you can’t return to a lower floor except to exit the building.”

    So a woman goes into the NEW HUSBAND STORE to find a husband.

    On the 1st floor a sign reads:

    Floor 1 --- these men have jobs.

    She ascends to the 2nd floor where a sign reads:

    Floor 2 --- These men have jobs and love kids.

    She ascends further to the 3rd floor where a sign reads:

    Floor 3 --- These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

    “Wow” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. On the 4th floor a sign reads:

    Floor 4 --- These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

    “Oh mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

    Still she goes to the 5th floor and a sign reads:

    Floor 5 --- These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

    She is so tempted to stay, but goes to the 6th floor and a sign reads:

    “You are visitor number 31,456,012 to the floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the NEW HUSBAND STORE.”

    NEW WIFE STORE.

    The NEW WIFE STORE is located just across the street.

    The 1st floor has wives who enjoy sex.

    The 2nd floor has wives who enjoy sex and have money.

    The 3rd thru 6th floors have never been visited.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  2. #2
    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    lol.... my other half, she almost fell off the couch... good one !
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

  3. #3
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    Ohh - ooh - we love ya ladies, really LOL!

    Bless you all.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array Slim_45's Avatar
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    This is awsome

  5. #5
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    I have to say though, I did make it to the third floor of the New Wife Store.

    She's as previously described but as a 'third floor wife' she also LOVES GUNS!

    Didn't make it up to the fourth floor...

  6. #6
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    Well, I'd venture to the third floor if that's where the wives that also cook and clean are.
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  7. #7
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    Located Below...My Wife & I...



    ret
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array Stetson's Avatar
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    Got to love it!

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dakotaranger View Post
    Well, I'd venture to the third floor if that's where the wives that also cook and clean are.
    If she's got money, she will hire somebody to cook and clean!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  10. #10
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    My wife thought this was very funny.

    Yeah, with gun/ammo money who cares about the cooking and cleaning.
    Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow.

  11. #11
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    New one by me. That's good. The wife will just give me a dirty look if I let her see it, though.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

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