Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling.

[Miggy]

- I don't care how much is raining. I am a South Florida Griller and I am certified to grill up to a category 1 hurricane!

- I think 10 ounces of charcoal fluid should be enough to get that puppy started.

-Honey, get me the lighter and the fire extinguisher.

- I know 4 feet tall flames are not necessary but they look cool....yes, I know our porch roof is made out of wood.

- Did you know there was a roach inside the grill? It is quite crispy now.

- Honey, where is the burn ointment....yes I am fine.

- Don't worry, the plants won't feel the heat.

- Go ahead and let the cats out for a while in the porch.... Why not?

- Nothing a bit of paint won't fix.

Gotta go guys.... Grilling awaits!

[DefensiveCarry.com]

[Rock and Glock]

LOL!

[A1C Lickey]

You forgot my wife's two favorite....

-WOW!!!

-Opps!!!

[swiftyjuan]

If I even walk by the grill, our cat disappears for 2 days! Great list!

[kante]

- I think 10 ounces of charcoal fluid should be enough to get that puppy started.
-Honey, get me the lighter and the fire extinguisher.
- I know 4 feet tall flames are not necessary but they look cool....yes, I know our porch roof is made out of wood.
- Don't worry, the plants won't feel the heat.

Dude, your wife would NOT like me

[JD]

How about this one: "Huh, it's not supposed to do that..."

[P95Carry]

Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..

Did you know there was a roach inside the grill? It is quite crispy now.

[ccw9mm]

Dude, your wife would NOT like me

Yeah, well, at least you're not caught basting during the conflagration, like the poor guy shown below. Can you say: vaulted ceilings?

[swiftyjuan]

Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..

Chris,
Protein is protein...probably needs a little salt.

[TN_Mike]

I grill every weekend in the summer.

Our neighbor got me a Christmas ornament for Christmas last year, when I opened the box, it was a miniature grill with a steak on it and grilling utensils and everything. She calls me the grill king.

[Dakotaranger]

You forgot, "I thought you liked it well done." and "I just wanted to make sure I killed all the bacteria."

[Miggy]

Dude, your wife would NOT like me

Mike...that's...that's... Just beautiful!

[Miggy]

Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..

I swear there was a roach! Funny thing is I set the charcoal... no movement... Pour the fluid..nothing... start the fire and nothing for a minute but then I see the roach trying to get out from under the ash dump. So what does a guy do? Gets more fluid, douses the roach and streams the fluid till it contacts open flame. It got crispy allright!

Then I tell the wife and she looks at me like with the "that's not a funny joke" but then realizes I am telling her the truth. I can read her mind so I tell her that after the amount of fluid on fire, she can rest assured everything is properly disinfected.

She did never stepped outside to look at the grilling process though

[CopperKnight]

Dang, that's funny, Miggy. Poor little ole disease carrying vermin probably thought he was hiding.

The best short we've had was:

me "WOW!"
her (can't see, but calls out the window) "WHAT!?"
me "Nothing, dear. Everything will be fine."
her -silence-

[ron8903]

You might be a Redneck if,

The lizard in the grill is well done.
You have more than one kind of grill on the deck.
Gas, smoker,Weber kettle, and home made pull behind
for all the family gatherings.( ME)