Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling.

Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling.

This is a discussion on Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; - I don't care how much is raining. I am a South Florida Griller and I am certified to grill up to a category 1 ...

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Thread: Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling.

  1. #1
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    Talking Things my wife does not like to hear from me when grilling.

    - I don't care how much is raining. I am a South Florida Griller and I am certified to grill up to a category 1 hurricane!

    - I think 10 ounces of charcoal fluid should be enough to get that puppy started.

    -Honey, get me the lighter and the fire extinguisher.

    - I know 4 feet tall flames are not necessary but they look cool....yes, I know our porch roof is made out of wood.

    - Did you know there was a roach inside the grill? It is quite crispy now.

    - Honey, where is the burn ointment....yes I am fine.

    - Don't worry, the plants won't feel the heat.

    - Go ahead and let the cats out for a while in the porch.... Why not?

    - Nothing a bit of paint won't fix.

    Gotta go guys.... Grilling awaits!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!


  2. #2
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    LOL!

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    Senior Member Array A1C Lickey's Avatar
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    You forgot my wife's two favorite....

    -WOW!!!

    -Opps!!!
    TSgt. Lickey

    It takes a college degree to break'em;
    and a high school education to fix'em!

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    If I even walk by the grill, our cat disappears for 2 days! Great list!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  5. #5
    Member Array kante's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miggy View Post
    - I think 10 ounces of charcoal fluid should be enough to get that puppy started.
    -Honey, get me the lighter and the fire extinguisher.
    - I know 4 feet tall flames are not necessary but they look cool....yes, I know our porch roof is made out of wood.
    - Don't worry, the plants won't feel the heat.
    Dude, your wife would NOT like me

    Regards, Mike

    The german american, now living in Germany, but surely missing home!

  6. #6
    JD
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    How about this one: "Huh, it's not supposed to do that..."

  7. #7
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    Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..
    Did you know there was a roach inside the grill? It is quite crispy now.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kante View Post
    Dude, your wife would NOT like me
    Yeah, well, at least you're not caught basting during the conflagration, like the poor guy shown below. Can you say: vaulted ceilings?

    Attached Images
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

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    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..
    Chris,
    Protein is protein...probably needs a little salt.
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    I grill every weekend in the summer.

    Our neighbor got me a Christmas ornament for Christmas last year, when I opened the box, it was a miniature grill with a steak on it and grilling utensils and everything. She calls me the grill king.
    JoJoGunn likes this.
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  11. #11
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
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    You forgot, "I thought you liked it well done." and "I just wanted to make sure I killed all the bacteria."
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by kante View Post
    Dude, your wife would NOT like me

    Mike...that's...that's... Just beautiful!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Great Miggy - for some reason this has huge grin factor ..
    I swear there was a roach! Funny thing is I set the charcoal... no movement... Pour the fluid..nothing... start the fire and nothing for a minute but then I see the roach trying to get out from under the ash dump. So what does a guy do? Gets more fluid, douses the roach and streams the fluid till it contacts open flame. It got crispy allright!

    Then I tell the wife and she looks at me like with the "that's not a funny joke" but then realizes I am telling her the truth. I can read her mind so I tell her that after the amount of fluid on fire, she can rest assured everything is properly disinfected.

    She did never stepped outside to look at the grilling process though
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  14. #14
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    Dang, that's funny, Miggy. Poor little ole disease carrying vermin probably thought he was hiding.

    The best short we've had was:

    me "WOW!"
    her (can't see, but calls out the window) "WHAT!?"
    me "Nothing, dear. Everything will be fine."
    her -silence-
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  15. #15
    VIP Member Array ron8903's Avatar
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    You might be a Redneck if,

    The lizard in the grill is well done.
    You have more than one kind of grill on the deck.
    Gas, smoker,Weber kettle, and home made pull behind
    for all the family gatherings.( ME)
    "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
    - Sir Winston Churchill

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