This is a discussion on Grumble Grumble within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Wasted a healthy chunk of the morning sitting in our local courtroom waiting room.
What a damn circus that place was this morning!
People sure ...
April 23rd, 2005 12:23 AM
April 23rd, 2005 12:39 AM
QK you just made me feel better. I was all POed about having to drop $250 plus another $70 to rent a car while my truck was in the shop after an unknow high school student plowed into me.
Now I don't feel so bad. And I now park my Silverado between an Explorer and a Suburban instead of on the end of the row. With the regular cab and the short bed, my truck is actually smaller than both.
It bewilders me how people on a teacher's salary drive these $40,000 SUVs, but I digress.
April 23rd, 2005 05:06 AM
Hey, I think the whole world has gone mad. And I wanted to fix it.
Not many people knew I was running for pope, 'Vencenzio the Innocent.' You can get a lot of fricken Harleys through those big doors at the Vatican. I'll bet I would have looked stunning in a long flowing red robe, swirling it like some blue-eyed vampire, with a gutteral laugh proclaiming "Off with their heads!"
During my historic "reign of terror" there would be a harsh dose of common sense. Jack yourself up on cocaine, and you get to wait outside the ER while someone with a snuffy nose gets treated first.
'Chrome' would not be taxed. (I have needs like anyone else.)
I would rely heavily on Beyonce' Knowles and Ashanti for building new nunneries. (I have needs like anyone else.)
Communion wine would now be tequila. (I have needs like anyone else.)
What's wrong with switchblade knives? (I cut stuff.)
A varmint license for shooting drug dealers might be expensive (I have needs like anyone else), but the hunting season is a full year and the bag limit is 800.
Betty would taken out and have her height measured once and for all. She would then be given a special 'papal pass' for the rides at Disney World. Of course (I have needs like anyone else), there will be a "runt tax."
Any large V-twin style customized motorcycle with at least five thousand dollars worth of chrome, and let's pick a random engine displacement of say "more than 94 inches," would be given 'Autobahn status' and be allowed to travel at any speed on the highway.
Euc would now be the 'Viccar of Colt' just to take an automatics course to keep his spleen out of that extractor. We can all genuflect to that.
And anyone who has his car hit by some townie derelict gets to watch a "non-biased and fair" seven minute trial and then gets to 'pull the lever' himself. His vehicle is replaced by any revenue secured by my "runt tax."
Let us now bow our heads for the bikers' prayer. Pass the collection plate. (I have needs like anyone else.)
Last edited by The Tourist; April 23rd, 2005 at 11:50 AM.
April 23rd, 2005 07:53 AM
Okay Okay....I demand a recount there musta been some of those Florida ballots rejected!
.....Not many people knew I was running for pope, 'Vencenzio the Innocent.' .....
April 23rd, 2005 09:44 AM
The bad thing is that they dressed up for court...
Originally Posted by QKShooter
Tourist, I have only one problem with your post, 5 grand in chrome? Man, I hate chrome. And five grand? Last time I went through a parts book and added up the prices to build a rigid it was less than 10k, although that was a few years ago, and a lot of the parts were chrome plated anyway...
Come to to think of it, a rigid might not be a good idea since, at the age of 23, I can move wrong and throw my back out. A rear suspension would be nice...
April 23rd, 2005 11:51 AM
QK - commiserations. I feel your pain. Oh my, am I fortunate, being able to park truck ''round the back'' .... I ran a rough driveway round past side of house to bottom of yard - not all that far but keeps truck outa the way. Wife's car is in front but on our own black top.
I used to have to park in roadway - and had some ''interesting'' experiences! Am relieved to no longer have to have a vehicular ''in harm's way''. I hope your situation resolves ultimately but all the time-wasting is onerous to put it very mildly.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
Tourist for Pope - haha - Popes don't ride Harlies!
Chris - P95
NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.
"To own a gun and assume that you are armed
is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."
- a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.
April 23rd, 2005 12:01 PM
Okay, okay, I wouldn't tax the FXDX Night Train. However (strains of mood music play in the background) when I was a boy--when men were men and sheep backed out of a room--the style was chrome on chrome, and the more the better.
One of our club members had a completely chromed Sportster--frame and all--with only the black factory decal proclaiming it was a Sportster replaced on the all chrome peanut tank.
Look at the picture of my bike. Even my pushrod blocks are chromed. You can't see the other side, but it's chrome. So are the rear belt guards, both top and bottom. My handler bars were a grand--on sale.
(The music switches to a marching beat) And the reason is that America is a great country, and we shine and covet are over-priced toys as they guzzle enormous amounts of premium fuel to go no place other than the locals of other bikers on over-priced toys guzzling enormous amounts of premium fuel. Ah, when I hear that 95-inch engine light up, a surge of power courses through my veins!
That, son, is why there is chrome! It shines like a beacon! It defines my over-blown ego, my wind-blown hair, my money-blown wallet and often times my stress-blown cyclinder base studs.
That, my friend, is a America. Let them see the glow!
April 23rd, 2005 01:54 PM
Okay Tourist - put the crack pipe down
Kimber Ultra CDP Elite STS II
A gun is a tool...the real weapon is between your ears!
April 23rd, 2005 02:20 PM
Actually, it's a great big soup-bowl full of an amaretto latte' that I might, and I say might, have made a tad on the heavy handed side.
But have you seen my bike?
April 23rd, 2005 06:57 PM
"It defines my over-blown ego, my wind-blown hair, my money-blown wallet and often times my stress-blown cyclinder base studs."
When I read one of your posts. I can almost feel the wind from your post blowing back my own hair!
April 24th, 2005 02:09 AM
Ya' know, I read your post a few times to see if I could discern a 'break wind' joke in there, someplace.
Sorry, they're a part of my life. I like bikes and I like bike people. I *****-foot around citizens, as Betty may tell you. And when a sliver of my real feelings slips out, I usually have to apologize for creasing some townie's ego.
However, I can go to just about any biker's house, engage in idle chatter while I wax my bike for the seventh time that week, and I can *****, laugh, kibitz or just tell road lies.
In fact, a guy down the street has a full custom Harley, and I just drove up into his driveway one afternoon.
If I tell a biker, by the humor of a rank, that he corners like a wounded elephant stumbling through five feet of fresh Alpine powder, he'll stick me with the 'F' word and ask if I want another beer. I've learned over and over that doesn't happen when I'm with citizens--even with the bland prose of a forum exchange. A citizen gets bent because he thinks I think I told everyone who thinks about what he thinks that he's a putz.
If you ever get the chance to watch 'Easy Rider,' fast forward to the exchange between Jack Nicholsen and Dennis Hopper as they sit around a camp fire and discuss living free in a world of stiff citizens.
Dennis Hopper is baffled by people being scared of true freedom. Jack Nicholsen finishes this observation by answering, "It makes them dangerous."
It was true 40 years ago, it's true now, it's true in the forums. These guys aren't 'dangerous' in the sense that they're going to tell my Mother, but they are dangerous to the exchange of the spoken word without varnish. Question these shamans and they'll turn on your like an autumn breeze.
"Free" to them is your reflected glory of their concepts. The trouble is that I don't care if you're a Catholic, a lefty, a Rosy O'donnell fan, a rump ranger or a channel swimmer. I could care less what you do, I'm going to go out riding.
Why then is even my terse exchange so threatening? I'll forget you on the next sip of tequila--unless you're Beyonce' Knowles.
April 24th, 2005 10:47 AM
Well spoken...my good man.
Oh...& BTW there might have been a little highly unintentional "break wind" quip in there...I'll never tell.
Last edited by QKShooter; April 24th, 2005 at 10:55 AM.
Reason: delete signature
April 24th, 2005 11:22 AM
To the forum re: the QKS response,
Now that is exactly what I'm referring to.
I say something, he bats me down with a good rank, he insults me back and the day begins.
What is so flippin' hard to understand?
(I got an e-mail last night from a good friend. The letter was an opinion on a problem I'm having. That opinion was couched with the warning "I'm putting on my flame suit."
If you're ticked, just say it. "Chico, you Sicilian garden slug, for heaven's sake, launder that crappy black T-shirt before the bacteria grows an arm."
Notice I said "good friend." Why do citizens do that? Half of the misunderstanding using the prose of the internet would vanish in a flash if plain language, direct responses and unvarnished opinions could be used.)
And use humor. This is supposed to be fun.