A Bee Stung Me Under My Tongue

This is a discussion on A Bee Stung Me Under My Tongue within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I just cropped part of this from the AOL Daily Start page. .................But could you get away with saying you had to go to your ...

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Thread: A Bee Stung Me Under My Tongue

  1. #1
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    Array QKShooter's Avatar
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    Cool A Bee Stung Me Under My Tongue

    I just cropped part of this from the AOL Daily Start page.
    .................But could you get away with saying you had to go to your mother's dog's funeral. Would you believe an employee who had the swine flu, forgot the way to work, or was arrested because of mistaken identity?
    Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the most unusual actual excuses workers gave for missing work.

    I was sprayed by a skunk.

    I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

    My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.

    I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

    I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

    I couldn't find my shoes.

    I hurt myself bowling.

    I was spit on by a venomous snake.

    I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.

    A hitman was looking for me.

    My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.

    I eloped.

    My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.

    My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

    I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.

    I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India (note: she passed away 20 years before).

    I forgot what day of the week it was.

    Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

    A tree fell on my car.

    My monkey died.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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  3. #2
    Member Array armoredman's Avatar
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    Well, I actually did have an officer call in for a sick dog last week. We explained that dogs are not legally considered family members, and the Dept was not going to pay her for that day....she wanted to argue.....
    If total government control equals safety, why are prisons so dangerous?

  4. #3
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    At my p/t job, I have a co-worker that calls in just about every deadline because her son is magically sick again. Her son is also magically sick on her birthday, and the day after she has a wild party.

    She did call in with an actual excuse this past winter - she had her little Fluffy Dog in the vehicle with her as she stopped at her driveway to get her mail. She checked her mail and came back to discover her pooch, while bouncing around inside, locked the doors. The vehicle was running with the heater full blast on high. It didn't take long for the pooch to overheat and start passing out, while my frantic co-worker called the police. The police took out her back window with an ASP and rescued the unconscious doggie.
    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

  5. #4
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    When I was in the Army we were having a Detachment party in the afternoon and one of my SP4's called in late because he said the cake had to cool so he could frost it!

    That one was SO good I let him get away with it!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

  6. #5
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    that dogs are not legally considered family members
    I like my dogs better than some people. In fact I like my dog better than most people.

    There's tremendous bond between a pet and its owner. When my Dad passed away, and it was his time, I reacted in that way. When one of our birds died, I cried outright.

    I'll be the one who decides how to mourn. I still wear Doug's rag on my jeans.

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    Member Array WyattEarp's Avatar
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    When i was 14, my dog ripped up my homework to pieces. My mom had to call the school & tell them that it wasn't a lie & i wasn't making it up. True story, scout's honor.
    Stops Jihad on Contact

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