Oy, they're onto me...

Oy, they're onto me...

This is a discussion on Oy, they're onto me... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I saw this on the V-Twin foruma dn thought you might get a laugh out of it. I hope it might spark an attempt at ...

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Thread: Oy, they're onto me...

  1. #1
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004

    Oy, they're onto me...

    I saw this on the V-Twin foruma dn thought you might get a laugh out of it. I hope it might spark an attempt at creating a parallel depiction of your CCW life.

    Your best shoes have steel toes. (Per Chico--True.)

    Every left shoe you own has a black spot on it from the shift lever. (Per Chico--True.)

    You owned three different bikes before you ever owned a car. (Chico owned two.)

    Your best friends are named after animals. (Nope.)

    You think Easy Rider has held up pretty well after all these years. (Eh, perhaps the 'biker crap.')

    When you refer to Captain America, you mean the bike and not the comic book hero. (Per Chico--True.)

    You know that Marlon Brando rode a Triumph in The Wild One and not a Harley-Davidson. (Per Chico--True.)

    You also know that it was Lee Marvin who rode the Harley in The Wild One. (Per Chico--True.)

    You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher. (Nope.)

    Your idea of jewelry is chains and barbed wire. (I don't wear jewelry.)

    You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste. (Per Chico--True.)

    You're only sunburned on the back of your hands and neck. (Per Chico--True.)

    You carry around a crushed beer can in case you have to park your bike on hot asphalt. (No, I use a can found directly on site.)

    You pull your bike into the motel room and use a bath towel to wipe it off. (Only once.)

    Your significant other (SO) has to climb over your bike to do the laundry in the basement. (Nope.)

    You don't know how to do laundry, but you have four different kinds of cleaners for your bike. (I do laundry, and have over a dozen products for my bike.)

    You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet. (No, just a pic of the wife.)

    You wave at bikers even when you're in your car. (Nope.)

    Your other vehicle is a truck equipped with a motorcycle ramp. (Nope.)

    Your three piece suit consists of leather chaps, a leather vest, and a leather jacket. (I don't own a pair of chaps.)

    Your other suit is a rain suit. (I don't own a rain suit.)

    You wake up next to your SO and your first thought is if your bike will start. (I first think of the dogs.)

    You know where Sturgis is. (Per Chico--True.)

    You take your kids for a ride on your bike before they can walk. (I have no children.)

    You can't remember your kids' names or birthdays, but you can remember that Harley-Davidson made the Knucklehead, Panhead, Shovelhead, Evolution, and Twin Cam 88. (N/A, but I knew about the bikes.)

    You are currently wearing two or more articles of clothing that have a Harley-Davidson label in them. (I have on one as I type this.)

    Folks at the Harley store know you by name. (Per Chico--True.)

    You have your own coffee cup at the Harley store. (Nope.)

  2. #2
    VIP Member
    Array Scott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    The Old Dominion
    Here's a few to get it started...

    You buy your pants one size too big so your IWB holster fits comfortably.

    You bring your OWB rig to the clothing store to be sure that jacket your buying will conceal it properly.

    You have 3 holsters for your main CCW and 2 for your backup.

    You plan your errands to avoid places you cannot CCW or so that you get the ones out of the way first where you can't CCW.

    You have more guns than your wife has shoes.

    You spend more time cleaning guns than your cars.

    You spend more a week on ammo than gas.

    You never sit with your back to the entrance.

    You position your family around the table to give you clear fields of fire.

    Your family has been trained to get down when you tell them.

    You have more than 2 guns stashed in strategic location around your house. (reloads in other places)

    You have at least one car gun per car.

    Your dogs are named Magnum, Shooter, or both.

    When you watch movies you try to identify all the guns used. You also point out the errors in handling, reloads etc.

    Keep going, there are a lot more, but I have to get to the airport.


  3. #3
    Member Array cls12vg30's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    RDU Triangle, NC
    Hehe, true on almost all of those, I'm not sure I have much to add.....

    In situations where for whatever reason you can only carry your backup pocket pistol, you don't "really" consider yourself armed.

    You own several shirts with gunmaker logos and/or pro-RKBA slogans, but would never wear them in public because they would be a "tell", so they are relegated to the range.

    You really wish somebody would make a Breakfree-scented aftershave.

    You plan your gun-buying "schedule" at least six months in advance.

    You have no idea what the intended purpose of a pipe-cleaner is, only that it's great for firing pin channels.

    You would sooner move to Central Alaska then Southern California.

    The employees at the gun store / shooting range yell your name in unison when you walk in the door, just like Norm from Cheers.
    "Terrorists don't seem to be too afraid of stern language. But I do notice, that while the fear of death does not seem to deter these people, the fact of BEING dead does significantly decrease their operational effectiveness. "
    - Bill Whittle

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