Me, the Lousy Cop

Me, the Lousy Cop

This is a discussion on Me, the Lousy Cop within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; (Something to think about) Me, the Lousy Cop Well Mr. Citizen, I guess you have figured me out. I seem to fit neatly into the ...

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Thread: Me, the Lousy Cop

  1. #1
    Member Array Ten_Ring's Avatar
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    Wink Me, the Lousy Cop

    (Something to think about)

    Me, the Lousy Cop

    Well Mr. Citizen, I guess you have figured me out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I'm stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I'm the "lousy" cop.

    Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true. I can never figure you out.

    From birth you teach your children that I am a person to be wary of...and then you're shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy, the criminal.

    You accuse me of coddling juvenile criminals, until I catch your kid doing something.

    You may take an hour for lunch and several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer if you see me having just one cup.

    You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals with your troubles.

    You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and I'm picking on you.

    You know all the traffic laws, but never got one ticket you deserved.

    You shout "Foul!" if you observe me driving fast enroute to an emergency call, but literally raise hell if I take more than ten seconds responding to your call.

    You call it "part of my job" if someone strikes me. But its "police brutality" if I strike back.

    You wouldn't think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but you are always willing to give me pointers on law enforcement.

    You talk to me in a manner and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but you expect me to stand there and take it without batting an eye.

    You cry, "Something has to be done about all the crime!" but you can't be bothered with getting involved.

    You've got no use for me at all, but, of course, it's OK if I change a tire for your wife, deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car on the way to the hospital, save your son's life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or work many hours overtime to find your lost daughter.

    So, Dear Citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, or maybe your life might depend on one thing - me, or one of my buddies.

    Yes, me, the lousy cop
    http://www.odmp.org/

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  2. #2
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  3. #3
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    A good one. Not bad at all.

    But, I do take issue with this passage right at the end:
    but never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, or maybe your life might depend on one thing - me, or one of my buddies.
    I go to great lengths to make sure that my life or the lives of my family will never depend on anyone but me or my wife being able to do the right thing. Sorry and no offense to you or any other LEO but, I don't trust you or anyone else with that job.
    ,=====o00o _
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    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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    Member Array Ten_Ring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    Sorry and no offense to you or any other LEO.
    None taken.
    As a matter of fact, everyone should try to do the same.
    http://www.odmp.org/

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  5. #5
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    That is great but yeah the last bit does need small tweaks, because as we know the ''lousy'' cop with the best will in the world, cannot often make it fast enough to actually prevent harm every time. And it ain't his/her fault either. That is why we carry.

    Let's hear it for the under-rated, hard working and risk-taking cops Bless 'em.
    Chris - P95
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    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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  6. #6
    Member Array Ten_Ring's Avatar
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    I would like to add I did not originate this, but it holds true to every LEO out there. I simply pass it on from time to time.
    The key word in the last part is "might"...not "will".
    http://www.odmp.org/

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  7. #7
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    I'm the guy who routinely flags LEO bashing threads, I have a lot of respect for all that they do.
    But, I'm going to respond to each point in turn from my perspective. I want to show you that we aren't all that bad.

    From birth you teach your children that I am a person to be wary of...and then you're shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy, the criminal.
    Agreed, it's wise for kids to be wary of LEOs, it instills discipline.

    You accuse me of coddling juvenile criminals, until I catch your kid doing something.
    No, LEOs should be allowed to smack kids, instant fine style.

    You may take an hour for lunch and several coffee breaks each day, but point me out as a loafer if you see me having just one cup.
    Not true - If you're wearing your uniform you are still working, LEOs don't get 'breaks' as they are on call all shift.

    You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals with your troubles.
    See above

    You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but let me catch you doing the same thing and I'm picking on you.
    Never had a ticket, wouldn't mind if I did, I'm due one.

    You know all the traffic laws, but never got one ticket you deserved.
    Don't know everything, never had a ticket either.

    You shout "Foul!" if you observe me driving fast enroute to an emergency call, but literally raise hell if I take more than ten seconds responding to your call.
    Uh??? Has anyone ever said this???

    You call it "part of my job" if someone strikes me. But its "police brutality" if I strike back.
    No, some might, not me. If I get hit by a LEO it was due.

    You wouldn't think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but you are always willing to give me pointers on law enforcement.
    Funny, I did tell my dentist to pull my tooth last week, it took two separate second opinions before he agreed to do it, I also argue with doctors, a lot... never argued with a cop...

    You talk to me in a manner and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but you expect me to stand there and take it without batting an eye.
    Not true, but have seen others do it.

    You cry, "Something has to be done about all the crime!" but you can't be bothered with getting involved.
    Not true - more guns = less crime, I am one more gun.

    You've got no use for me at all, but, of course, it's OK if I change a tire for your wife, deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car on the way to the hospital, save your son's life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, or work many hours overtime to find your lost daughter.
    It's killing me that you feel this way, really.
    More people than you realize do appreciate the fine work that LEOs do every day. Maybe you just keep meeting pond life...

  8. #8
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    "... but never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, or maybe your life might depend on one thing - me, or one of my buddies."
    I realize it. I'm thankful for it. And I'm right out there myself, insofar as my daily life allows, actively protecting myself and my family, our possessions and our place in the world. Nobody outside the family really has that responsiblity to protect me and mine, and it's one that I take seriously. I thank all honorable LEO's for their selfless contributions to the betterment of our society. It's a tough job and worthy of respect and admiration for a job well done.

    Thanks for the reminder.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
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  9. #9
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    Pete,
    All of theses are things LEOs hear at one point or another. We may not hear them all ourselves , but all together we hear it. Other LEOs here can relate, it's just part of the job.
    http://www.odmp.org/

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  10. #10
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ten_Ring View Post
    Pete,
    All of theses are things LEOs hear at one point or another. We may not hear them all ourselves , but all together we hear it. Other LEOs here can relate, it's just part of the job.
    I know, I don't doubt it...

    I just wanted to put it on record that some of those points are 'way out there' from my perspective.

    If I were in your shoes I would have difficulty not laughing or just walking away when that sort of crap was said...

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pete View Post
    I would have difficulty not laughing or just walking away when that sort of crap was said...
    Sometimes....late at night......I do......
    http://www.odmp.org/

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