Another American job being outsourced.....

This is a discussion on Another American job being outsourced..... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I didn't see a general political area, so... OUTSOURCING OF JOBS REACHES THE PRESIDENT by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill Washington DC - Congress today announced ...

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Thread: Another American job being outsourced.....

  1. #1
    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    Angry Another American job being outsourced.....

    I didn't see a general political area, so...

    OUTSOURCING OF JOBS REACHES THE PRESIDENT
    by Staff Reporter Melynda Jill

    Washington DC - Congress today announced that the Office of
    President of the United States of America will be outsourced to overseas
    interests as of June 30th, the end of this fiscal year. The move is being
    made to save not only a significant portion of the President's $400K yearly
    salary, but also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related
    overhead.

    "We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
    be significant" stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-Wash). Reynolds,
    with the aid of the GAO (the General Accounting Office), has studied
    outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain
    competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay,"
    Reynolds noted.

    Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.

    Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time. Sanji
    Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming the
    Office of President of the United States as of July 1. Mr. Singh was born
    in the United States while his parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls,
    thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320
    (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed
    that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without
    support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will
    be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will
    be open.

    "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American
    Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am
    excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."


    A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be
    fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
    should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will
    enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this
    tree, he can address common concerns without having to understand the
    underlying issues at all.

    "We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesperson. "Mr.
    Bush has used them successfully for years."

    Mr. Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
    final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be
    eligible fo r $240 dollars a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately
    he will not be eligible for Medicaid as his unemployment benefits will
    exceed the allowed limit.

    Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower,
    Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.
    According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
    position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility is
    re-enlistment in the Army National Guard. Should he choose this option, he
    would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been
    there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable
    knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport nonsmoking
    terminal and gift shop. Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would
    receive a warm reception from local Iraquis. They have asked to be provided
    with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate
    welcome.

    Source...
    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

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  3. #2
    Member Array Fjolnirsson's Avatar
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    What? Nobody has anything to say? :trinken12
    "Water can flow, or it can crash. Be like water, my friend."-Bruce Lee

    My Blog

    "Luck, often enough, will save a man if his courage does hold."

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    Just seen this - I love satire!!!

    Well - after IRS work goes to India - nothing but nothing would much surprise me any more!!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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    I can agree with outsourcing the Presidency, only if Hillary ever got elected.
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

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    Addition Concerning Hillary

    AOL had a recent Hillary poll & the AOL responders are USUALLY left leaning & weighted toward Liberal. Well, Good Ol' Hill did not "fare well" in that poll.
    And the chat line that was opened up on the topic was really blasting her big time.

    Some of the more memorable comments I just can't post here.

    A couple were though were that she carried around more old, dirty baggage than a passenger train in India.

    and...that the American people would never elect a female president with sausage legs...the new "pillars of government"

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