Unappreciative Women! You can't win!

This is a discussion on Unappreciative Women! You can't win! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; So I decide to use my day off working on the Little Red Tactical Wagon and some overdue (Since last year) fence work. The Wife, ...

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Thread: Unappreciative Women! You can't win!

  1. #1
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    Talking Unappreciative Women! You can't win!

    So I decide to use my day off working on the Little Red Tactical Wagon and some overdue (Since last year) fence work. The Wife, bless her heart, has been asking me to fix the fence and clear all the accumulated crap I have back there. It is 90+ degrees, humidity in the high 70's and yours truly is a professional perspirator and that makes for lots of towels being used to dry myself off.

    I had to suspend work because of an incoming storm so I decided to be a good husband and collect all towels for washing. I read the instructions on the detergent container, set the right levels on the washer, poured the indicated amount of detergent and let it rip. Next I got me a cigarrette and called the wife at work:

    "Hi Hon."
    "Hi Babe, what's new?"
    "Good news. 2/3 of the fence is fixed, you have an almost new gate, the Tac wagon is primed and there is a load of old stuff in the truck ready to be hauled to the dump."
    "Great! you sure did a lot of work!"
    "Hell yes! There are no dry towels left in the house. But don't worry, I got them all in the washer."

    All of the sudden I fely my ear freeze to the phone like somebody poured liquid nitrogen on the speaker. Dead silence on the line. I almost though that I was in that celullar comercial where the line drops, but I could hear noises in the background.

    "Honey? You there?"
    "Did you put all the towels in the washer?'
    "Er....yes." <gulp>
    "Did you separate colors?"
    "Colors?"
    <silence>
    "Honey, You want me to separate the whites?"
    <silence>
    "Honey? Baby cakes, Sweetie pie, You there?"
    (frost comes out the phone)
    "Go get the white towels out of the washer."
    <click>

    So my question is: How many cups of bleach do I need to get the pink out of the white towels? And hurry up because the wife gets home in an hour and a half!
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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  3. #2
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    Uh-oh...

    Sounds like Miggy might get a chance to test his bug-out bag...
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

  4. #3
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    Drive rapidly to Bed Bath and Beyond, or Linens and Things, or one of those other stores we men would normally not be caught dead in and buy some white towels, ASAP.

    Good luck..... PM me if you need a place to hide - you're not that far away ;)

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

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    Miggy - go out quick - and buy 12 lovely red roses and a bottle of wine

    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  6. #5
    Ex Member Array Pete's Avatar
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    Congratulations you now have lots of pink shop towels.

    Could be worse, I washed a cashmere sweater of hers once... and put it in the dryer.

  7. #6
    Member Array firefighter_56's Avatar
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    Time to do the WallyWorld thing go directly to the linen area find a woman clerk and buy what ever she tells you to. Pick up flowers on the way home and buy dinner tonight.

    "First rule of a gun fight is to have a gun"

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    Oops, DEAD MAN WALKING!!

    If you use enough bleach to get the "pink" out the towels will probably just disintegrate, and she'll figure out somethings wrong anyhow!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    Forget the Bleach....you can only mess up more with that. Do what MattLarson said....and stop off and get some flowers and something shiney to distract her. If this doesn't work....admit you were wrong and you will never do it again....then present your behind for a good spanking. No wait....no spanking....let her do something you don't like.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

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    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    Miggy - Thanks, I needed a laugh!! Now if I can just get the sprite out of my keyboard.

    BTW - my vote would be the roses - she will forget all about the towels!
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array Spirit51's Avatar
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    Poor men. Sometimes you just can't win for losing when it comes to household chores. My hubsand knows from experience. He doesn't get a spanking either. I have to find something he DOESN'T like.
    A woman must not depend on protection by men. A woman must learn to protect herself.
    Susan B. Anthony
    A armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one has to back it up with his life.
    Robert Heinlein

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    Senior Member Array Arkie's Avatar
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    oh nooooooooo. Run Miggy Ruuuun!

    Actually you can buy some stuff to get the color out of the towels.
    It's called RIT color remover. You can buy it where they sell the RIT dyes and it will remove the color from the whites.

    Or you can use a lot of Chlorine Bleach. That works pretty well also.

    Flowers and dinner will be in order also.



    ps. And DON"T dry them. That will set the stain in!

  13. #12
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    Miggy, don't sweat it!

    Point out to your bride, in your most matter of fact manner, that colored towels dry things just as well as white towels.

    Simple logic.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry

  14. #13
    Member Array FknRa's Avatar
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    NOOOOOOO,,,, GET A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO BED BATH AND BEYOND. Let her go shopping. They like that kind of thing and it lets them think they are in control.....
    To those that paid for my freedom,
    I WILL NEVER FORGET.

    As with all statements I've made and All that I will make, please check your local laws to verify accuracy. (and if i'm wrong let me know as I like to be right in the future) After all I'm just some goofball posting on an internet forum.

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    VIP Member Array SIGguy229's Avatar
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    Your wife called....she said to mail all of your guns to me. Will send PM for address...

  16. #15
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    Miggy...

    you still alive??
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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