Assault burrito

Assault burrito

This is a discussion on Assault burrito within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7683168 CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets ...

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Thread: Assault burrito

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array paramedic70002's Avatar
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    Assault burrito

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7683168

    CLOVIS, N.M. - A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.
    Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.
    The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

    "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.

    State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff's Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.
    Worried parents gather at school
    In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semicircle, straining their necks, awaiting news.
    "There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door," said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.
    After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.
    Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.
    "The kid was sitting there as I'm describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he's thinking, 'Oh, my gosh, they're talking about my burrito.'"
    Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.
    ‘I think I’m the person they saw’
    "He said, 'I think I'm the person they saw,'" Russell said.
    The burrito was part of Morrissey's extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.
    "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.
    After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.
    "The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief," Morrissey said.
    "Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It's Burrito Boy."
    "Each worker carried his sword strapped to his side." Nehemiah 4:18

    Guns Save Lives. Paramedics Save Lives. But...
    Paramedics With Guns Scare People!


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array raysheen's Avatar
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    I'm really starting to get depressed about the world we live in...calling the cops because someone goes into school with something "long and wrapped up"?
    snipers on rooftops?
    ...that's it..I'm home schooling my children.

    "We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos," Morrissey said.
    this kid might be on to something though! sounds good to me

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    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school.
    "I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.
    She apparently didn't know the first rule of threat management: identify the threat. You're cryin' now, holmes.

    Unknown who called the troops, but it could certainly happen a bit more responsibly. Calling in a SWAT-like response over fears of an unidentified, fat wrapped "thing". Whatever happened with simply walking up like the administrator you are and asking to see the "offending" object? Out the window, with the baby and bathwater, I'm afraid.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
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    Senior Member Array Mtbiker's Avatar
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    I had an assault burrito a couple times. Put me in the bathroom for hours.
    -Biker

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    VIP Member Array miklcolt45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paramedic70002 View Post
    A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.
    Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.
    The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.
    Well, it COULD have gone off. Or, the owner might have gotten really angry and committed aggravated assault with a dangerous jalapeno.

    Call Schumer, Feinstein and McCarthy! We need laws about this kind of irresponsible action on the part of possibly deranged sandwich eaters.

    On a side note, at least it didn't have a barrel shroud.
    He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. - Jim Elliott

    The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
    Albert Einstein

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    Distinguished Member Array Bob The Great's Avatar
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    ROFL! That's hilarious. I think the local police chief needs to hang a picture of that kid and his burrito for story-telling purposes.

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    Great post. I notice this happened in April 2005. Does anyone remember if it made the national news?

    Quote Originally Posted by raysheen View Post
    I'm really starting to get depressed about the world we live in...calling the cops because someone goes into school with something "long and wrapped up"?
    snipers on rooftops?
    I agree. What would have happened if a sniper had seen the young man walking around campus so "armed?" Depending upon the rules of engagement, the young man might have been shot.

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    Well - they said how long it was but - no mention of caliber!

    Amazing.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    Member Array huntthehunter's Avatar
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    that's crazy, everyone knows that a burrito simply contains the propellant charge. It's only after 'chambering' one that they become applicable for 'assault'

    :-)

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    That might be funny if it wasn't so pathetic and sad. What have we come to?
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    Two hours!?? Does it take two hours to walk up to a kid,and identify whats i n his hands?


    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

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    VIP Member Array aus71383's Avatar
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    +1 pathetic

    +1 homeschool

    This society sucks.

    Austin

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    Member Array teknoid's Avatar
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    I remember this when it made the news.

    If this was a BEAN burrito, it could legitimately be labeled an assault weapon... several hours after consumption.

  14. #14
    VIP Member Array packinnova's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teknoid View Post
    I remember this when it made the news.

    If this was a BEAN burrito, it could legitimately be labeled an assault weapon... several hours after consumption.
    I was thinking more along the lines of a BioWeapon
    "My God David, We're a Civilized society."

    "Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
    -The Mist (2007)

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    I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.
    Don't cry over spilled Guacamole
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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