Man Rules

This is a discussion on Man Rules within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set ...

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Thread: Man Rules

  1. #1
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    Array Captain Crunch's Avatar
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    Man Rules

    Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option; I will win.

    Because I am a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start".

    Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.

    Because I am a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

    Because I am a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

    This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry

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    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    hear...hear !!!!

    "I am man , hear me roar !"
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

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    Member Array KellyCooper's Avatar
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    Am I the only one who sees the irony of "cereal killer" agreeing with "Captain Crunch"?
    ~~~the biggest deficit of the general public is a lack of personal accountability.. I have no one to blame for my actions, regardless of circumstances, except myself and by the same token I can hold no one else responsible for my protection and well being other than myself~~~

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    Distinguished Member Array USPnTX's Avatar
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    LMAO...
    "Do not fear those who disagree with you; fear those that do and are too cowardly to admit it" - Napoleon

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    VIP Member Array artz's Avatar
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    pass the milk please.... LOL
    " Refuse to be a victim, make sure there is a round chambered ! "

    Just call me a pessimistic optimist !

    U.S. Navy vet 1981-1992

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    If a man is in the woods and no one is around...is he STILL wrong?
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

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    Distinguished Member Array 4my sons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    If a man is in the woods and no one is around...is he STILL wrong?

    My wife says YES. and I am allowed to laugh at the origional post.
    "fundamental principle of American law that a government and its agents are under no general duty to provide public services, such as police protection, to any individual citizen." [Warren v. District of Columbia,(D.C. Ct. of Ap., 1981)]
    If I have to explain it, you wouldn't understand

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    Have said before, will say again, No living Man will EVER win ANY
    Argument with ANY woman who he is married to at the time. Give up
    while your behind, You have allready been Assimilated.
    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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    Quote Originally Posted by enigmaone View Post
    Have said before, will say again, No living Man will EVER win ANY
    Argument with ANY woman who he is married to at the time. Give up
    while your behind, You have allready been Assimilated.
    Enigma, my wife says she agrees with your wife.... and not to forget to take the trash out.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Crunch View Post

    Because I am a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

    Because I am a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

    This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
    AMEN

  12. #11
    Senior Member Array Sig229's Avatar
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    So you pay for AAA but dont use it when you need it?

    That doesn't sound like a "man" but more of a stupid way to waste money.
    Primary Carry Gun: Sig Sauer 229~R (.40cal w/ Golden Saber JHP's)

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    VIP Member Array goldshellback's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    If a man is in the woods and no one is around...is he STILL wrong?


    That's my wife's favorite "referal" when I 'out n about'.
    "Just getting a concealed carry permit means you haven't commited a crime yet. CCP holders commit crimes." Daniel Vice, senior attorney for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, quoted on Fox & Friends, 8 Jul, 2008

    (Sometimes) "a fight avioded is a fight won." ... claude clay

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    Senior Member Array rabywk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retsupt99 View Post
    If a man is in the woods and no one is around...is he STILL wrong?
    My wife says sure your right, but when you get home you will be wrong again, so enjoy your time thinking you were right.

    My Father-in-law gave me one big piece of advice the day I got married, just remember the phrase, "Yes, dear."
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    --- Some of the friendliest people I have ever talked to are gun owners and shooters and according to the gun activists we are the mass murders and felons of the nation???

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sig229 View Post
    So you pay for AAA but dont use it when you need it?

    That doesn't sound like a "man" but more of a stupid way to waste money.
    We don't use it if the wife is around otherwise we do call AAA and have a couple of beers with the guy after he fixed the car. And the specific reason is that no man wants to endure 45 minutes of "I told you so" in front of another man. I think AAA drivers have in their contract that they can deny service if a nagging wife is present since it is embarring for them too
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  16. #15
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    Sorry ,Can't talk right now Im still taking the trash out, See Miggy its all your Wife's fault, So of course your wife is gonna blame YOU,
    We just can't win...........
    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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