You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if:

This is a discussion on You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if: within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I poached this from over at the fireing line enjoy lol . You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if: -You start your day selecting ...

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Thread: You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if:

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array Redneck Repairs's Avatar
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    You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if:

    I poached this from over at the fireing line enjoy lol .


    You know you’re a Concealed Weapons Carrier if:


    -You start your day selecting what clothes do not print.

    -While shopping for a new belt, you select one by what goes best with your holster.

    -2:30, 3:00, 4:00 are not times of the day.

    -OWB, IWB are very different internet terms than LOL

    -The most expensive part of your dress attire is that custom made leather holster you wear.

    - Instead of family photos in your wallet you have concealed carry permits.

    -Family members are tired of you asking “can you see my handgun under this shirt?”

    -$200 is to much to spend for a pair of shoes but your holster was made by a 100 year old Native American in New Mexico, which is made out of a now extinct species, and cost more than you make a month.

    -Baggy pants are not only a young mans style but it is the only way you can manage to get your IWB holster in your pants.

    -You laugh at any full size auto under .45 ACP but carry a $1,000 9mm because it is really really small.

    -Bending over to tie your shoes is a hard task but you can manage to contort you body in to unimaginable ways to see how your new gun feels while wearing it.

    -It takes you 15 minutes to pick which one of your carry guns would be perfect to wear on your latest outing.

    -As soon as you get home you clean lint off your gun but have not run the sweeper on the carpet in a month.

    -If you ever asked your significant other “does this 1911 make me look fat?”

    -A major goal of yours it to get every CCW permit from every state that issue out of state permits.

    -Your hip has a cramp because you slept the wrong way on your holster last night.

    - You have trouble remembering you cell phone number but you know every concealed carry law from every state.
    -At the end of the day, your back right hip is boned to the grips in a manner that would have made Milt Sparks proud.

    -You forgot how to reach for things over your head with your right hand, even if you're standing in the kitchen in your underwear

    -When standing up after eating, you habitually do a back and to the right shirt tug.

    -When hugging someone, you shoot your arms under theirs in a race for who's got the waist position

    -You sell the idea of mice in the office to cover for your own occasional squeaking
    Make sure you get full value out of today , Do something worthwhile, because what you do today will cost you one day off the rest of your life .
    We only begin to understand folks after we stop and think .

    Criminals are looking for victims, not opponents.

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  3. #2
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    LOL...Yup..That's me.

  4. #3
    Senior Member Array joleary223's Avatar
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    "When standing up after eating, you habitually do a back and to the right shirt tug." Guilty!
    CRIME..... LAW DEFINES, POLICE ENFORCE, CITIZENS PREVENT!

    FOUR BOXES KEEP US FREE: [1] SOAP [2] BALLOT [3] JURY [4] AMMO!

  5. #4
    Senior Member Array Mtbiker's Avatar
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    They all true except the sleeping on the holster thing. I've got my wife trained to ask "will your gun fit under this?" when we are shoping for shirts.
    -Biker

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    VIP Member Array Rob99VMI04's Avatar
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    You start your day selecting what clothes do not print.

    -While shopping for a new belt, you select one by what goes best with your holster. Yes

    -2:30, 3:00, 4:00 are not times of the day. Yes

    -OWB, IWB are very different internet terms than LOL Yes

    -The most expensive part of your dress attire is that custom made leather holster you wear. Never considered this YES YES YES

    - Instead of family photos in your wallet you have concealed carry permits. Hummm YES

    -Family members are tired of you asking “can you see my handgun under this shirt?” Change it to Co-workers YES.

    -$200 is to much to spend for a pair of shoes but your holster was made by a 100 year old Native American in New Mexico, which is made out of a now extinct species, and cost more than you make a month. I buy 1 pair of leather shoes in Brown and use them for a YEAR YES
    -Baggy pants are not only a young mans style but it is the only way you can manage to get your IWB holster in your pants. 2 sizes over YES.

    -You laugh at any full size auto under .45 ACP but carry a $1,000 9mm because it is really really small. Laugh yes. GLOCK is 400-500

    -Bending over to tie your shoes is a hard task but you can manage to contort you body in to unimaginable ways to see how your new gun feels while wearing it. YES

    -It takes you 15 minutes to pick which one of your carry guns would be perfect to wear on your latest outing. THIS IS A BIG YES I lost track of how many handguns I own, now I'm loosing count of how many I carry. G17, G19, G23, G26, G29, SIG 228 sometimes, M&P sometimes.

    -As soon as you get home you clean lint off your gun but have not run the sweeper on the carpet in a month. NO mostly its a glock the lint adds personality.

    -If you ever asked your significant other “does this 1911 make me look fat?” NO Don't own a 1911 but I am FAT

    -A major goal of yours it to get every CCW permit from every state that issue out of state permits. YES

    -Your hip has a cramp because you slept the wrong way on your holster last night. No

    - You have trouble remembering you cell phone number but you know every concealed carry law from every state. Not my number my Fiances number, and who ever came up with that darn store the number in your phone I'm going to write a nasty letter. I used to be able to remember Phone #'s now. Forget IT.

    -At the end of the day, your back right hip is boned to the grips in a manner that would have made Milt Sparks proud. VM2's Baby YES

    -You forgot how to reach for things over your head with your right hand, even if you're standing in the kitchen in your underwear. NO I'm a south paw Right handed easy its figuring out how to reach for it left handed is the real bugger.

    -When standing up after eating, you habitually do a back and to the right shirt tug. YES

    -When hugging someone, you shoot your arms under theirs in a race for who's got the waist position. Don't Ever get that close to other people. NO

    -You sell the idea of mice in the office to cover for your own occasional squeaking. NO we have RATs in the basement at work Yes I've seen them there the size of Small cats.
    “Are you a thermometer or a thermostat, do you reflect or become what is happening in the room or do you change the atmosphere, reset the temperature when you come into the room”?--Chuck Swindoll

    Its not about guns...Its about Freedom!

  7. #6
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    Stolen and about to be posted in another board
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  8. #7
    Member Array 1911NM's Avatar
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    I resemble that remark.
    NRA, USPSA SS & Lim-10
    Blessed are they who, faced with danger, think only of the front sight. J. Cooper

  9. #8
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    I plead guilty to all the above!!
    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

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    -You forgot how to reach for things over your head with your right hand, even if you're standing in the kitchen in your underwear
    That is so true.
    eschew obfuscation

    The only thing that stops bad guys with guns is good guys with guns. SgtD

  11. #10
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    I guess that I just got "made!

    GUILTY as charged!!
    It's not about the caliber you carry, it's about how you USE it.

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  12. #11
    Distinguished Member Array randytulsa2's Avatar
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    I resemble those remarks...
    "...bad decisions that turn out well often make heroes."


    Gary D. Mitchell, A Sniper's Journey: The Truth About the Man and the Rifle, P. 103, NAL Caliber books, 2006, 1st Ed.

  13. #12
    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    Somebody read my mail! Especially the "Tug"..... I'm tryin' to break that habit.
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

  14. #13
    Member Array bigiceman's Avatar
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    How about this one?

    Your doctor can tell which brand of firearm you use by reading the impint in your skin during your annual physical.
    But if you are authorized to carry a weapon, and you walk outside without it, just take a deep breath, and say this to yourself...
    "Baa."
    LTC(RET) Dave Grossman

    Revolutionary War Veterans Association Shooter Qualification: Cook

  15. #14
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    Ah yes...9 or.45...45 or 9? striped shirt or solid? paper or plastic?Decision,decision, decision..

  16. #15
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    A friend in another board added these:

    -- You stop on the courthouse steps to search yourself before entering.

    -- You wife always makes sure to sit on your weak-hand side at church or in movies so the gun won't dig into her when she leans against you.

    -- You realize that you have just performed a press check on your office stapler.
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

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