School Answering Machine, Anywhere, USA

School Answering Machine, Anywhere, USA

This is a discussion on School Answering Machine, Anywhere, USA within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen ...

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  1. #1
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    Array Captain Crunch's Avatar
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    School Answering Machine, Anywhere, USA

    Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

    To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

    To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

    To complain about what we do - Press 3

    To swear at staff members - Press 4

    To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

    If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

    If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7

    To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8

    To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

    To complain about school lunches - Press 0

    If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!


    When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,
    And the women come out to cut up what remains,
    Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
    And go to your God like a soldier.

    Rudyard Kipling


    Terry


  2. #2
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    Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Nice bit of satire Terry!

    Probably go over the heads of some present day parents tho!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  3. #3
    Member Array Sonic Misfit's Avatar
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    Which button do you press to let the school know that you are filing a lawsuit because your daughter did not make the cheerleading squad. (or is this only in Texas?)

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Blackeagle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonic Misfit View Post
    Which button do you press to let the school know that you are filing a lawsuit because your daughter did not make the cheerleading squad. (or is this only in Texas?)
    In Texas, you hire a hitman if your daughter doesn't make the squad.

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