When Insults Had Class...

When Insults Had Class...

This is a discussion on When Insults Had Class... within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; From a hunting forum: "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "A modest little person, ...

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  1. #1
    Senior Member Array Andy W.'s Avatar
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    When Insults Had Class...

    From a hunting forum:

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices
    I admire."
    - Winston Churchill

    "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
    - Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many
    obituaries with great pleasure."
    - Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might
    send a reader to the dictionary."
    - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

    "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions
    come from big words?"
    - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
    I'll waste no time reading it."
    - Moses Hadas

    "He can compress the most words into the smallest
    idea of any man I know."
    - Abraham Lincoln

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
    letter saying I approved of it."
    - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked
    by his friends."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of
    my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
    - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend
    second... if there is one."
    - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost
    like having you here."
    - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
    - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's
    nothing trivial."
    - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of
    dullness in others."
    - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to
    run up."
    - Paul Keating

    "He had delusions of adequacy."
    - Walter Kerr

    "There's nothing wrong with you that
    reincarnation won't cure."
    - Jack E. Leonard

    "He has the attention span of a lightning
    bolt."
    - Robert Redford

    "They never open their mouths without
    subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
    - Thomas Brackett Reed

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
    yielded easily."
    - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
    - Forrest Tucker

    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
    without any address on it?"
    - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and
    kept the stork."
    - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go;
    others, whenever they go."
    - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses
    lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
    - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
    - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But
    this wasn't it."
    - Groucho Marx
    America: Your government is not ignoring you, it's insulting you.

    The Bill of Rights: Void where prohibited by law.


  2. #2
    Senior Moderator
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    My favorite

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go;
    others, whenever they go."
    - Oscar Wilde
    We have become dumber as a nation haven't we?
    “You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.”

    ― Robert A. Heinlein,

  3. #3
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    One of my favorites, author unknown:

    "He would sell his mother for the cool side of a pillow."
    You have to make the shot when fire is smoking, people are screaming, dogs are barking, kids are crying and sirens are coming.
    Randy Cain.

    Ego will kill you. Leave it at home.
    Signed: Me!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Array PaulG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pgrass101 View Post
    My favorite



    We have become dumber as a nation haven't we?
    Absolutely! What passes for knowledge these days is pitiful.

    That's why I can only watch a few of the television shows on today. They have been dumbed down for the lowest common denominator.

    Notice how all of the insults Andy posted were very cutting but contained no profanity and avoided being crude?

    Sigh!
    fortiter in re, suaviter in modo (resolutely in action, gently in manner).

  5. #5
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    Those are insults with subtlety and stealth The meaning is well embedded but still meaningful.

    Now quite in same category but I have an old fave from Churchill and IIRC the suffragette lady Betty Boothroyd - which is approx ..........

    Betty Boothroyd - "Mr Churchill, you are drunk".

    WC - Yes I might be - but you are ugly, and I will be sober by morning"

    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  6. #6
    VIP Member Array wmhawth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Those are insults with subtlety and stealth The meaning is well embedded but still meaningful.

    Now quite in same category but I have an old fave from Churchill and IIRC the suffragette lady Betty Boothroyd - which is approx ..........

    Betty Boothroyd - "Mr Churchill, you are drunk".

    WC - Yes I might be - but you are ugly, and I will be sober by morning"

    That one's really funny.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Array dunndw's Avatar
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    I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
    "If I was an extremist, our founding fathers would all be extremists," he said. "Without them, we wouldn't have our independence. We'd be a disarmed British system of feudal subjectivity."

  8. #8
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    Earth Humor can be so sublime........
    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

  9. #9
    Member Array bob21bobby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by P95Carry View Post
    Those are insults with subtlety and stealth The meaning is well embedded but still meaningful.

    Now quite in same category but I have an old fave from Churchill and IIRC the suffragette lady Betty Boothroyd - which is approx ..........

    Betty Boothroyd - "Mr Churchill, you are drunk".

    WC - Yes I might be - but you are ugly, and I will be sober by morning"

    And Chirchill's best phrase.....

    to not be a socialist before one is thirty is a shame...to be one after is a crime!

  10. #10
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    Sir Winston Churchill is always good for an excellent quote and a laugh.

    Lady Astor reportedly once told Mr. Churchill that if she were his wife, she would poison his coffee. Mr. Churchill retorted, "If you were my wife I'd drink it."
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  11. #11
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Telling the truth with class and elegance. Many of those are classic, to be sure.
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  12. #12
    Member Array KellyCooper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dunndw View Post
    I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
    I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thing. You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms.


    Apparently, the French have this method of insulting down pat. (at least in Monty Python world)
    ~~~the biggest deficit of the general public is a lack of personal accountability.. I have no one to blame for my actions, regardless of circumstances, except myself and by the same token I can hold no one else responsible for my protection and well being other than myself~~~

  13. #13
    VIP Member Array swiftyjuan's Avatar
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    I laughed, I copied it, and sent it to all my friends (and a few enemies)!
    John
    Assault is a behavior, not a device.

    "Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party

    Lifetime NRA member

  14. #14
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    Lady Astor reportedly once told Mr. Churchill that if she were his wife, she would poison his coffee. Mr. Churchill retorted, "If you were my wife I'd drink it."
    George - I admit I had forgotten that absolute gem
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  15. #15
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by KellyCooper View Post
    I burst my pimples at you and call your door opening request a silly thing. You tiny brained wipers of other people's bottoms.


    Apparently, the French have this method of insulting down pat. (at least in Monty Python world)
    I blow my nose at you..I fart in your general directiion...

    More Python humor
    It's not about the caliber you carry, it's about how you USE it.

    Acts 4:12
    (Mohammad Who?)

    1988 DIE HARD 2008
    NRA Member

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