QK Worst Movie Review

QK Worst Movie Review

This is a discussion on QK Worst Movie Review within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Aleinatior THE ULTIMATE TERMINATOR. The only thing you'll feel like terminating is this movie. This movie is SO terrible that it's almost worth watching just ...

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  1. #1
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    Post QK Worst Movie Review



    Aleinatior
    THE ULTIMATE TERMINATOR.
    The only thing you'll feel like terminating is this movie.

    This movie is SO terrible that it's almost worth watching just to confirm how bad it really is.
    I have never seen a movie before where every single person in the movie cannot "act" at all.
    It's absolutely impossible to tell who stinks worse. It is hard to fail when you're intentionally trying to make a bad movie but, this one make an ordinary bad movie actually seem good.
    With a "PLOT" that jumps around more than electro-shocked frogs legs and some of the worst gun handling I've ever seen and studio eye make-up run amok.
    The beautiful girls are not even cute and the nerd can't even act like one.
    The acting is is so poor that I hesitate to even call it acting.
    The ONLY redeeming thing about the movie is "The Huntress" who they call The Hunter even though she is female....barely.
    She is so laughable that she is borderline pathetic but, could honestly crush rocks with her black leather thong bikini butt muscles.
    She is (in reality) a massive Bulldog of a female Body Builder and her movie costume sports two enormous protruding metallic-futuristic Dannon Yogurt Cups utilized as some sort of Intergalactic bulletproof bra.
    She (of course) sports the usual semi-integral Green Laser Death Ray and somehow manages to MISS her intended target 48 times out of every 50 shots.
    And did they find her mask on Bourbon Street in New Orleans? I dunno?
    This movie Has It All as a worse than the worstest "B" Sci-Fi movie.
    It can't even make the grade as a bad movie spoofer.
    So anyway....if you ever need to totally waste a little bit of your life then this would be the one to watch.
    Pour yourself a steep, stiff one before the movie starts - 'cause you'll need it to make it to the end of the movie.
    Even Marijuana would not make this movie worth watching.
    Have I ever seen a worse movie?...sure I have.
    Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes & EraserHead but, they are Crap Movie Classics.
    Is it the most awful movie running on cable these days? If not...it's close.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ


  2. #2
    VIP Member Array ccw9mm's Avatar
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    Sounds like you'd be a big fan of: Mystery Science Theater 3000. Basic premise is that they take a crapola film, alter it to appear as though it's being viewed by these two crazy "film critics" sitting in the front row, and overdub it with their side comments about the crapola nature of the film. This stuff can get old, but some of them are a riot.

    Edit: There are some clips on YouTube.com. Here are a couple of them ...
    Your best weapon is your brain. Don't leave home without it.
    Thoughts: Justifiable self defense (A.O.J.).
    Explain: How does disarming victims reduce the number of victims?
    Reason over Force: The Gun is Civilization (Marko Kloos).
    NRA, SAF, GOA, OFF, ACLDN.

  3. #3
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    I'll check it out. I love a good stale bad movie.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

  4. #4
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    Yea...Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a hoot!With the little droids doing the narration...one of my all time favorites for sure.
    This movie would fit there just fine it sounds...

  5. #5
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    Have you ever seen Plan 9 From Outer Space? It is reputed to be the worst movie ever made and released. If it's not, man, it is a close second. You watch this and you will know why the other 8 plans failed.
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

  6. #6
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    "The Quiet Earth" - a movie so bad that although my wife and have had a running disagreement about the last scene for years, we never rented or watched it again.

  7. #7
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    Do You Mean This Plan 9 From Outer Space ?



    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

  8. #8
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    Dark Star.

    Enough said :-)

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array Arkie's Avatar
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    How about the movie C.H.U.D. Now that was a bad movie.

    A friend and I went to see it at the movies and almost got thrown out for laughing too much at the movie. It was funny more than scary. LOL.

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array peacefuljeffrey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MattLarson View Post
    Dark Star.

    Enough said :-)

    Matt
    Hey, "Dark Star" is tongue-in-cheek SF camp! It's not offered as a good movie. It's understood to be low-budget and "bad" enough to be good. It's when a movie tries to be serious but ends up making those involved in its production look like incompetents, when we wonder why they couldn't manage to see that their movie would be a pile of crap, that I call them actually "bad."

    As for "Plan 9..." I read that Bela Lugosi died during the filming, so for half the movie, there is another guy playing his part, so from there on, he constantly has his cape up blocking his face from the camera. I haven't seen it, so I can't confirm; but if that's true, it's funny as hell!

    Jan Michael Vincent is a known burnout in Hollywood. I saw the movie "X-tro" on DVD recently (weird SF from the '80s). There was commentary by the director, who admitted that everyone involved was pretty much whacked out at the time, didn't know what they were doing. They made an "X-tro II" that starred Jan Michael Vincent. This director said that J.M.V. was belligerent; was there only to get a paycheck; didn't know his lines at all so had to read off cue-cards; and was an inebriated wreck.

    I did see something about him, an interview on some Hollywood "E" show, where he seemed drunk at the interview. I used to love him in Airwolf. He coulda been the next Charles Bronson with his squinty-eyed flintiness. Alas, the bottle got 'im.

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a PHENOMENALLY GOOD SHOW. It was campy, fun, cerebral, and hilariously funny. I preferred the originals, with Joel, over the later ones with Mike. OMG I have to get the collection of those on disc.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by peacefuljeffrey View Post
    Hey, "Dark Star" is tongue-in-cheek SF camp! It's not offered as a good movie. It's understood to be low-budget and "bad" enough to be good. It's when a movie tries to be serious but ends up making those involved in its production look like incompetents, when we wonder why they couldn't manage to see that their movie would be a pile of crap, that I call them actually "bad."
    I know - I actually kind of like Dark Star. It's in the "so bad it's kind of good" category.

    Matt
    Battle Plan (n) - a list of things that aren't going to happen if you are attacked.
    Blame it on Sixto - now that is a viable plan.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post


    That's the one. The flying saucer is obviously 2 pie plates glued together hanging from a visible wire in front of a background that has cotton balls glued to it for clouds. When Bela Lugosi died during production the scenes with him that had already been filmed were used, as were scenes by his replacement Tom Mason who was significantly taller than Lugosi. The furniture in the space ship is obviously a cheap dinette set. Boxes for chairs. Advanced technology gun that misfires. ad infinitum ad nauseam There is so much wrong with this film it is simpler to list what's right: The title is spelled correctly!

    For those who have had the dubious pleasure of view Plan 9 From Outer Space here is a link Plan 9 from Outer Space and a photo of the original ad poster.
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

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