Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner

This is a discussion on Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Ok guys, this is a joke. It was posted in the joke area because it is not meant to be a serious discussion. (I thought ...

View Poll Results: Are you a democrat, republican or southerner

Voters
109. You may not vote on this poll
  • Democrat

    4 3.67%
  • Republican

    42 38.53%
  • Southerner

    70 64.22%
Multiple Choice Poll.
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 33

Thread: Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array BigEFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Central California
    Posts
    2,045

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican or a Southerner

    Ok guys, this is a joke. It was posted in the joke area because it is not meant to be a serious discussion. (I thought about posting it in the tactical scenario section but I value my membership here) If you are a Democrat no one really believes that you are anything like the democrat in this joke.

    If you are a Southerner, GOD BLESS YOU. Although I hail from California, I would rather be known as a Southerner. I find it an insult to be called a Californian, I would carry a sign if I were a Southerner!

    Please do not turn this joke into something serious that will force it to be removed.

    P.S. Many of you may have seen this one, but I am a newbie and I haven't seen it here since I joined so I decided to post it.

    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    .................................................. ...............

    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think?

    What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

    Should I call 9-1-1?

    Why is this street so deserted?

    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.
    ……………………………………………………………................


    Republican's Answer:
    BANG!

    .................................................. ...............

    Southerner's Answer: *
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

    Son: Can I shoot the next one!

    Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
    Lex et Libertas — Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!

    "Not only do the people who put their lives on the line to protect the rest of us deserve better, we all deserve better than to have our own security undermined by those who undermine law enforcement." -Thomas Sowell

  2. Remove Ads

  3. #2
    Distinguished Member Array Der Alte's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Goldsboro, NC
    Posts
    1,843
    Southerner reporting, sir.
    Its a shame that youth is wasted on the young.

  4. #3
    VIP Member
    Array OPFOR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Nomad
    Posts
    4,713
    Wet blanket alert: Silvertips ARE hollow-points... ;)
    A man fires a rifle for many years, and he goes to war. And afterward he turns the rifle in at the armory, and he believes he's finished with the rifle. But no matter what else he might do with his hands - love a woman, build a house, change his son's diaper - his hands remember the rifle.

  5. #4
    Administrator
    Array SIXTO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    19,728
    If I'm an expert shot, I only need one.

    I'd invest the money saved on wasted ammo to pad my retirement accounts, or perhaps increase my defense stockpiles.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  6. #5
    Distinguished Member Array P7fanatic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Texan in NWFlorida
    Posts
    1,588

    Cool

    Hey y'all, that was funny.



  7. #6
    Moderator
    Array RETSUPT99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    44,648
    Transplanted yankee...now a Southerner...
    The last Blood Moon Tetrad for this millennium starts in April 2014 and ends in September 2015...according to NASA.

    ***********************************
    Certified Glock Armorer
    NRA Life Member[/B]

  8. #7
    Senior Member Array darkvibe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    517
    i guess there aren't any democrats among us

  9. #8
    Member Array Kompact9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    427
    Born in the Heart of Dixie...Alabama. Definitely a Southerner!!
    noli nothis permittere te terere...

  10. #9
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Shelby County TN
    Posts
    11,118
    Republican. I was born and raised in Indiana so I can't be a Southerner. But I do live in Tennessee so I qualify as a Damn Yankee if that means anything.
    ,=====o00o _
    //___l__,\____\,__
    l_--- \___l---[]lllllll[]
    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

  11. #10
    Distinguished Member Array Dakotaranger's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    North Dakota
    Posts
    1,858
    I'm a Federalist so I can't be a Republican too conservative for those in Rio Linda...From North Dakota so I can't be a Southerner, but I am a hick.


    How about ratta-tat-tat-tat-tat?
    "[T]he people are not to be disarmed of their weapons.
    They are left in full possession of them."

    Zacharia Johnson (speech in the Virginia Ratifying Convention,25 June 1778)"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed." ~Alexander Hamilton

  12. #11
    VIP Member
    Array ppkheat's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    4,087
    Born in Texas........great life in Louisiana
    Turn the election's in 2014 to a "2A Revolution". It will serve as a 1994 refresher not to "infringe" on our Second Amendment. We know who they are now.........SEND 'EM HOME. Our success in this will be proportional to how hard we work to make it happen.

  13. #12
    Senior Member
    Array enigmaone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    englewood fl
    Posts
    1,054
    Well unless you were born in Key West Florida,Anybody else are considered Yankee's.

    quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

  14. #13
    Senior Member Array mark555's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Center of the World Ma! Center of the World!
    Posts
    680
    Years ago (about 15 or 20) I was looking at one of the family Bibles at my parent’s house. While leafing through it I found that one of the book marks was a news paper clipping that turned out to be the Republican Party Ticket for Ulysses S. Grants run for the White House. I would surmise that we have been republicans for a few years now. ‘Bang’
    "Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."
    - William Munny (Clint Eastwood in the Unfrogivin)

    “The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

    “My Idea of a fair fight is beating baby seals with a club”

  15. #14
    Senior Member Array dpesec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    538
    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    Republican. I was born and raised in Indiana so I can't be a Southerner. But I do live in Tennessee so I qualify as a Damn Yankee if that means anything.
    I don't know about that. I was told by the fine folks in the city of Forrest City NC, that I wasn't a Yankee, just a Southerner that was mistakenly born in the wrong state. They considered my a southerner. To me that's the highest compliment I received on that assignment.
    Dave

    “The highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms”. General George Patton—US Army

    Vis et Veneratio

    "So this is how democracy dies: to thunderous applause." Actress Natalie Portman as Padme in Star Wars Revenge of the Sith

  16. #15
    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Under a rock.
    Posts
    1,763
    Quote Originally Posted by Kompact9 View Post
    Born in the Heart of Dixie...Alabama. Definitely a Southerner!!
    Born in richmond...THE CAPITAL OF THE SOUTH.

    Still living in richmond...CAPITAL OF THE SOUTH


    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Democtrat, Republican or Southerner....Thought ya'll might like this
    By Gunstogo in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: January 31st, 2008, 08:28 PM
  2. Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner?
    By FiringDragon in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: August 22nd, 2006, 12:08 AM

Search tags for this page

are you republican party member

,

today's humor : are you a southerner, democrat, a republican?

Click on a term to search for related topics.