Beer as food.

Beer as food.

This is a discussion on Beer as food. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I was born on 35th and Villard in Milwaukee, Wisconsin during a period when Warren Spahn and Eddie Mathews were the most famous men in ...

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Thread: Beer as food.

  1. #1
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Beer as food.

    I was born on 35th and Villard in Milwaukee, Wisconsin during a period when Warren Spahn and Eddie Mathews were the most famous men in America. Even as a child I noticed that beer was sold everywhere. In fact, when I went off to college and found beer sold in the Student Union, I never gave it a blush. Beer was food.

    My Dad loved beer more than any other beverage. We got a case of long necks every week, and if company was coming we always had some "shorties." If he was working outside, we had ice cold beer for lunch.

    Comedians on TV laughed at the word 'Schlitz.' To me, it was a big white building down town. At the age of six I knew that the "Blue Ribbon" was from a beer competition in 1893.

    If you were around bikers, and I had a passing association with the lads, you smelled high octane fuel, tobacco smoke, sweat, 'Ambush' perfume on the ladies and beer.

    Having said that, I don't much care for the stuff.

    Oh, I had a bottle or three with my Dad more as a bonding ritual. I drank beer with pizza in the dorm occasionally and a few cold ones during the dog days of summer on a black bike. My drink of choice on a bike ride was Mountain Dew, and after I parked for the night I chose tequila. Lots of tequila. Enough tequila to wipe out three species of desert cactus.

    Just not beer.

    So I found it odd that when my wife went to the store a week ago, asked me if I wanted anything, and I responded that I needed some beer. She asked me what kind, and I 'Silver Bullets.' (The aluminum in the can is thinner, and the beer gets ice cold.)

    She then asked if Mickie Foster was coming over, and I responded, 'no,' I just wanted some for myself. I got a strange look.

    Some lost Milwaukee, Villard Avenue gene has just been ignited. I get thirsty after a long day of listening to idiots who can't hold their wrists straight when faced with carborundum and I want beer. It's hot, muggy and rainy in Madison--and it has been so for several weeks and it ain't letting up. I've touched my wife more than Black Betty.

    As I sit here typing, my Angus burgers are sizzling in onions under my wife's watchful gaze. The Silver Bullet is dying fast and my usual mercurial mood is lightening, so much so that I have no desire to spit on a panhandler.

    As an Adventist I find my welling hostility, fueled by heat but quenched by beer, to be an odd and probably short lived behavior. As a biker born and bred in Milwaukee it would seem a mundane act of preening.

    Somewhere in heaven there's a cloud that the Seraphs have been told to re-level five times over. There are constant complaints about this cloud's moisture consistency, the sketchy view for a cumulonimbus, the poor service and painfully inadequate beer. This is the part of paradise where my Father lives.

    I hear him slightly behind my left ear, complaining about a few of the knives I sharpened today, their quality, the crooked bevels, and my poor workmanship. And then the final jab.

    "Coors!" comes the faintly ethereal thump of puffery, "That crap is brewed in Colorado! What does a bunch of hairy fricken hippies know about beer! I told your Mother not to let you play with those Corsican cousins..."

    Funny, the can is empty.


  2. #2
    Senior Member Array Prospector's Avatar
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    World's 10 worst beer starting with the worst - Pearl (rebottled horse urine)....Lone Star...Schlitz (comes in third only cause it gave me runs something terrible)...Carling Black Label...Billy Beer...Falstaff...Pabst...Hamms...Moosehead...and Molson !
    "Endeavor To Persevere"
    Chief Dan George

  3. #3
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    rebottled horse urine
    That's your problem, Prospector, you candy-coat your true opinion. Just once, speak your mind--openly.

    BTW, you're wrong about the worst beer sold.

    It's kind of a tie between People's Beer and Rhinelander Bullfrog.

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    The nastiest substance I have ever consumed, and yes I was at a party, was O Doul's Non Alcoholic Beer.

    After they got through laughing as I wretched, I was assured that real beer tastes much better than that liquid monkey crap.

  5. #5
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Euc,

    Consider this. I was well into my thirties before I realized that the strange crunchy acrid taste of beer was simply the insects being washed off my teeth.

    This was pointed out to me by another biker--with a windshield.

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    Distinguished Member Array RSSZ's Avatar
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    NASTYGANSETT, Now that is some really bad stuff. I couldn't even drink it AFTER I was already drunk. ---- Back in the simi good ol' daze we used to be airdropped (from helo,by parachute) Tuborg and Carlings. This was the overseas stuff that came complete with all types of perservatives. Of course we drank 'em hot while squatting under a Pima Palm. Some of them didn't even have a pop-top. We had to open them with our knife. My Randall still smells like---- well----you know !! And it still has the scratches from them damed ol' steel cans.-----

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prospector
    World's 10 worst beer starting with the worst - Pearl (rebottled horse urine)....
    I've heard the same said of Millers! :1saufen:

    Seems in my youth, Korean beer was an "aquired" taste.
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    Senior Member Array AirForceShooter's Avatar
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    I'm orginally from New York city.
    The worst for me was PIEL'S
    God!!

    AFS
    Gun control is hitting what you aim at

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    Seems like there was a beer called Slippery Dick made just outside of Chicago, anyone recall this beer??? Now a test for you guys who may have went to Cuba, do you remember the one eyed indian. Beer drinkers in Gitmo may.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
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    NRA Life Member

  10. #10
    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    My wife's ancestors founded the Bechaud Brother's Brewery in Fond-du-Lac, back in the 19th century, shortly after they emigrated from Germany. Bechaud Beach is named after them. Beer is food. For centuries, it was liquid bread, and in some places, it still is. I got into homebrewing a few years ago. Now, I'm proud to say that I brew the beer I drink, and I'm happy to serve it to my friends. Making it has become a comforting ritual, like barbecue. Tasting it has become part of a ritual journey. (queue the patriotic music......now).
    - Tom
    You have the power to donate life.

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    Member Array ebd10's Avatar
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    Gobel, Red White and Blue, and Wiedermann's. Quite possibly the three worst abominations ever created by the brewing industry. Of course, after a long day of getting smoked by Jump School Black Hats in the June, Georgia sun, Wiedermann's was at least COLD.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ebd10
    Gobel, Red White and Blue, and Wiedermann's. Quite possibly the three worst abominations ever created by the brewing industry. Of course, after a long day of getting smoked by Jump School Black Hats in the June, Georgia sun, Wiedermann's was at least COLD.
    The infamous little brown bottles...We bought Wiedermann's by the case when I was in college. Never could stomach RWB.
    - Tom
    You have the power to donate life.

  13. #13
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    Fall City may be the worst I've ever had, although to quote my father "The worst beer I ever had was still pretty damn good." But hell he may have been drunk when he said that.

    When we were in high school all we could afford was the small bottles of Little Kings.

    Jesus ,that brought back some memories.
    "I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
    Mark Twain

  14. #14
    Distinguished Member Array RSSZ's Avatar
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    Remember that crappola named Mickey's Big Mouth? I think that it was malt liquor. If I remember correctly,it came in a small(12oz.), green,wide mouth, kittle keg lookin', glass bottle. We used to "accquire" some of them from time to time.-----

  15. #15
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    We used to "accquire" some of them from time to time.
    Are you using the word 'accquire' in the same sense as the jargon me and my road-worthy associates use that word?

    jigger, cop, five finger, liberate, midnight, hustle, wise, trim and boot

    edit: For you guys on Suzukis, it means to take possession of at less than normal discount prices.

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