Ramblings of a retired mind! :-)

Ramblings of a retired mind! :-)

This is a discussion on Ramblings of a retired mind! :-) within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; No - not me that wrote this - but could well have been perhaps! LOL Maybe folks have seen it before but those in my ...

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Thread: Ramblings of a retired mind! :-)

  1. #1
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    Ramblings of a retired mind! :-)

    No - not me that wrote this - but could well have been perhaps! LOL Maybe folks have seen it before but those in my age group will certainly see some bits that strike home

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Ramblings of a retired mind .... (some shooting relevance!)


    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener. Now everyone thinks that I'm cool, too.

    You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

    I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

    I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust."

    I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.... that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

    You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

    Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!", or Sex, "Yes, Sometimes."

    Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail carriers could look for them while they delivered the mail?

    Still love my shooting but that ain't all it used to be .................

    I never bothered with bipods before but now it's Harris all the way. Why do my rifles seem so much heavier?! They've all got slings now too.

    I used to think ''limp wristing'' was an insult but now know exactly what it means.

    I still reload - of course - but now find that a full length resize stroke needs both hands, on a good day.

    Iron sights ..... <bletch> ....... I have converted everything now to red-dot or scope ..... even my reading glasses don't cut it any more.

    Do people realize how hot you get when dressed with three layers of clothes - in summer? Just because recoil on bone is so damned painful.

    ''Practical pistol'' now, is no longer speed ........ it's finding the knack of overcoming gravity AND arthritis at the same time.

    I finally realized I should maybe stop spending on shooting and put some money aside for my funeral but then thought ... shucks, why bother. My guns will make enough money to bury me three times over.

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on a curve rather than pass/failed.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.


  2. #2
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    Well I hope this real life story fits with your thread Chris. My kidney doctor scheduled today for me to get a kidney biopsi. I worried like crazy about is it going to hurt, will they find anything? So don't drink or eat past midnight and don't take meds in the morning. I report in to 1 day processing thats where you get stuff handled quickly, got dressed and hooked to a bottle and waited for about 2 hours. They wheeled me to the lab, its really nice with a control room full of gear and an operating room width table that runs through a donut shaped mri like unit. Chatted with the nurse and girl who runs the machine and waited for the doctor. In the meanwhile my blood pressure is going out of sight and nurse now understands I need medication but we hold off. I roll onto the little sliding table and they do their thing to measure my kidneys and plan for the entry point with that sharp instrument. After some time the doctor comes out and tells me they cannot do the biopsi because the walls of my kidneys are to thin and they would/may bleed. So the story is I have been worried so much about this and got down right to the wire and its called off. This is somewhat like drawing the bow and never letting it fly.
    I have no idea what is wrong with me and neither does the two doctors I go to so the hunt for red october continues.
    Take care all I meant for this to have humor and tell people not to worry about things.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
    ---
    NRA Life Member

  3. #3
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    FortyFive - most sorry to hear of your ailment and the apparent diagnostic problems.

    I am right there with you tho regarding the lead-up to such proceedures - I'll lump in the dentist visits too in similar category. I try my best to make concern override actually worry - but it often doesn't help. And yet all too often the worry can well exceed any actual experience when it comes - amplifying as it so often does a small hill into the Andes!! LOL.

    But yes - not much good worrying too much - tho easy to say and hard to do. I ever more exist on the day at a time system - relishing every extra day I am given as yet another bonus, knowing all too well all the nasties I might succumbe to (my early background was medical - and I remember way to much!).

    Best wishes tho - and hopes for a satisfactory result when Red October is pinned down
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  4. #4
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Man, that was painful to read.

    Except that part about deodorant. People didn't like me when I was in my twenties. The feeling was mutual, I never wanted to be bothered with them.

    When people wanted to speak to me, I told them I had 'no time' and the better option was to 'page me.'

    Then I would point to the garage door opener on my belt. Unlike your friend, I had put it there deliberately.

    (Laugh if you want, where else is a biker supposed to hang a garage door opener?)

  5. #5
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    where else is a biker supposed to hang a garage door opener?
    You really wanna know?? OK, forget it - it's too painful
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  6. #6
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
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    Naw, for a Harley rider it's not that painful. And it does keep you from losing it on severe bumps.

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