How to drive in Phoenix, Az
This is a discussion on How to drive in Phoenix, Az within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; If you live here or ever visited, this is a fairly accurate description (especially #6). :mrgreen:
1. " Phoenix " actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, ...
September 20th, 2007 09:16 PM
How to drive in Phoenix, Az
If you live here or ever visited, this is a fairly accurate description (especially #6). :mrgreen:
1. " Phoenix " actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Mesa, Gilbert, Glendale, Surprise, and half of the Mexican border.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered "Wussy".
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler
go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's an offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to
make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, rabbits, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road. SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too. Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway. The SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce. SR 101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY. Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.
September 20th, 2007 09:48 PM
I once lived in Tucson. I found it easy to drive through Phoenix if you keep your eyes shut...
Assault is a behavior, not a device.
"Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party
Lifetime NRA member
September 21st, 2007 12:25 AM
September 21st, 2007 01:12 AM
Sounds a lot like here in Las Vegas. And as far as "7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting."
Here in Vegas, construction is so prevalent that Nevada is considering changing our state bird to the "crane"!
September 21st, 2007 04:13 AM
I swear... that sounds almost like driving in Northern NJ!!!!
God I love IN!!! :)
Firefighter / EMT - Always Ready. Ever Willing.
~Never do anything that you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics...~
September 21st, 2007 05:34 AM
It sounds like it, but it is MUCH worse. I grew up in New York. Let me be more specific, I grew up driving in New York City and Northern New Jersey. Nothing I had ever seen could ever prepare me for driving in Phoenix. There is no place else like it in the states. The closet thing I've seen to it was when I lived in Bombay.
Originally Posted by firefighter4884
It takes a college degree to break'em;
and a high school education to fix'em!
September 21st, 2007 01:13 PM
I applaud the OP for clarifying the Phx. driving rules. I am in that area several times a year, and while attempting to "blend" with the local traffic it has become horrifically apparent to me, my poor old diesel has a speed limiter of 90mph. Never have even been close to the left lane of 101 loop.
NRA, USPSA SS & Lim-10
Blessed are they who, faced with danger, think only of the front sight. J. Cooper
September 21st, 2007 05:48 PM
Look the simple solution is that when in doubt in an area like that...just make sure you're driving the biggest truck. Always worked for me Not many tend to argue with a 3/4 ton dodge jacked up with 38" tires and a bull bar from hell on it.
"My God David, We're a Civilized society."
"Sure, As long as the machines are workin' and you can call 911. But you take those things away, you throw people in the dark, and you scare the crap out of them; no more rules...You'll see how primitive they can get."
-The Mist (2007)
September 21st, 2007 06:39 PM
I drive in Phoenix weekly. I stopped laughing after number two. Not because it wasn't funny... but because of how true all of that is.
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