Living By THE CODE

Living By THE CODE

This is a discussion on Living By THE CODE within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I got this idea from The Tourist on another thread and decided to clarify some of my closely held positions. I hope I'm not alone ...

Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Coral Gables, FL
    Posts
    5,802

    Cool Living By THE CODE

    I got this idea from The Tourist on another thread and decided to clarify some of my closely held positions. I hope I'm not alone on this thread. I didn't write this originally, but I sure do believe in "the code."

    I LIVE BY A CODE

    OK folks, I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand no
    more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men
    prancing about redecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts
    like "style" and "feng shui". Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual,
    trans-sexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual -
    bogus definitions have taken over the urban and suburban world!

    Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
    "ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture
    wars: the Retrosexual movement.

    The Code:

    A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

    A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that
    term only because they are female.

    A Retrosexual DEALS with IT. Be it a flat tire, break-in into your home,
    or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

    A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

    A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you
    live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and
    drinking, I salute you.

    A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
    Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need an
    endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods.)

    A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30
    years old.

    A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need
    be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

    A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.

    A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house on
    national TV.

    A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for
    women. Some is inevitable, but major re-invention of yourself will only
    lead to you becoming a froo-froo little puss, and in the long run, she
    ain't worth it.

    A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental
    stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a
    freak treechipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a
    different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to
    see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was
    busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

    A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to
    conceal himself from prey.

    A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and
    ONLY a Windsor knot.

    A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about
    getting.

    A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer
    a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can - or
    be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

    A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
    riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH
    IT. Plus it's just plain fun to shoot.

    Crying. There are very few reason that a retrosexaul may cry, and none
    of them have to do with TV commercials, or soap operas. *Sports
    teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release
    is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a retrosexual
    can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of
    a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body
    part.

    A retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless
    that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or
    whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Acceptable ones
    may include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in
    his better days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy,
    Scarface, The Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I,
    II, or III, Full Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull,
    Bullitt, any Bruce Lee movie, Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir
    Dogs, Fight Club, Cool Hand Luke,...and you damn sure better be able to
    quote at least two lines from Patton!

    When a retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a
    pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and
    offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so called
    men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face.


    A retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the correct
    emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the Star Spangled
    Banner.

    A retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
    understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset
    the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when
    married/engaged in a serious healthy relationship - I.E. hunting,
    boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance.

    A retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.

    A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without
    sliding all over or driving under 20 mph, without anxiety, and
    without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.

    A retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants.
    Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land.

    A retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but
    any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above
    2nd Lt .) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but
    the retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them
    for serving their country.

    A retrosexual man doesn't need a contract, a handshake is good
    enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change or
    the other person deceived him.

    A retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does
    something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the
    process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.


  2. #2
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    693
    I agree--with one proviso.

    I think real men fight for what's right, even if they're the only one in the room doing it. Trust me, one of the hardest things I've ever done was standing alone while everyone openly trashed me. The experience taught me one thing, it's easy to be a hero with a crowd. Very frightening against a crowd.

    Go see Henry Fonda in "Twelve Angry Men."

    As sometimes happens in life, the hero carries a switchblade.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array GoodSamaritan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Central Kentucky
    Posts
    790
    WOW!

    I never cease to be amazed at the quality of the posts on this site. Very entertaining and a lot of truth to it.

    Bryan

  4. #4
    VIP Member Array ExSoldier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Coral Gables, FL
    Posts
    5,802

    Question Fighting for what's "right."

    Quote Originally Posted by The Tourist
    I agree--with one proviso.

    I think real men fight for what's right, even if they're the only one in the room doing it. Trust me, one of the hardest things I've ever done was standing alone while everyone openly trashed me. The experience taught me one thing, it's easy to be a hero with a crowd. Very frightening against a crowd.

    Go see Henry Fonda in "Twelve Angry Men."

    As sometimes happens in life, the hero carries a switchblade.
    Funny thing, under Florida law if you have a CCW permit, a switchblade is legal and I frequently do carry one. I just thought of that.

    I've seen "Twelve Angry Men" but it's been awhile. I DO know that in some cases what is "right" is a relative term. The Jihadis think they are fighting for "what's right." Are they? Are there instances where breaking a law is "right?" You bet. I do agree that it is frightening to go against a crowd, especially where the crowd is on the verge of turning into an ugly mob.

    However, if you keep your cool even an ugly mob can be managed. I teach history, psychology and sociology (among some others) and I can tell you the old saying about the Texas Rangers of One Riot, One Ranger is based in fact. If you're willing to really take the necessary action a mob can be made to back down. But if you are constrained by any circumstances, then you might be in some deep poo poo.

    Consider this: I would take whatever action was needed to keep a crowd here in the USA from LYNCHING Osama himself. Yet I would cheerfully pop a cap right between his eyes if I was able to get him in the open and we were off home soil. Is there a conflict in this mindset?

    I remember seeing a good old fashioned street preacher in the French Quarter of New Orleans (years before I became a Christian) and laughing at him along with the rest of the crowd. Today, I'd step up beside him and help hand out the tracts. I'd take the ridicule along with him because Jesus was ridiculed too. If I saw a street preacher hollering about Allah well, okay a street IMAM, would I do the same? Hell no!

    Islam is NOT I say again, NOT a "religion of peace!" Does this mean I condone lynching muslims? Of course not. I am tolerant of muslims. I basically ignore them and feel fine if they ignore me. Live and let live.

    I am not tolerant of terrorists and would cheerfully cap one if I was able to get him in the act, anywhere any time. Should they enjoy the protection of US law if they are caught on US soil in the commission of an act of terror? Not in my book. We are in a war. Enemy combatants on our soil in uniform deserve to be treated as POW's. But enemy combatants NOT in uniform or acting as terrorists get the spy treatment. That means send 'em right off to Gitmo and let them do whatever is necessary to keep our country safe. War is a dirty business. Folks who put on airs about the Marquis de Queensbury rules usually wind up on the losing side. That's what happened in 'Nam. Same for Korea. No such thing as a tie or "Peace with Honor." Our opponents are cutting the heads off of noncombatants in the name of Allah.
    Former Army Infantry Captain; 25 yrs as an NRA Certified Instructor; Avid practitioner of the martial art: KLIK-PAO.

  5. #5
    VIP Member
    Array Team American's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    3,826
    :mua:

    Dang, Ex...I'm so Retro, I didn't realize that I could have sought Professional help after that "freak treechipper accident"
    "I surrounded 'em"- Alvin York

    "They're ain't many troubles that a man can't fix with seven hundred dollars and a thirty ought six"- Jeff Cooper

  6. #6
    Former Member Array The Tourist's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    693
    'Soldier,

    I have told my friends a similar aspect of my beliefs under the Constitution.

    Even during the impeachment, the safest place for President Clinton would be in my home. While I differ in almost all interpretations of what The Framers meant as a strict constructionist, he was a President by the law of the land. Hence he would be treated as such in my house.

    To that end, as leader of my country and Commander in Chief, I would have no choice but to defend him. (heavy sigh). It's not my choice, but the ringing of the words "from without and from within." It is the right thing to do.

    I do not like situational ethics. Unfortunately I make few of the rules.

Links

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Similar Threads

  1. Federal Code 18 USC 930
    By Eagle Eye in forum The Second Amendment & Gun Legislation Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: April 22nd, 2010, 10:02 AM
  2. I need your interpretation of this code
    By FN1910 in forum The Second Amendment & Gun Legislation Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: January 6th, 2008, 12:09 AM
  3. GA Gun Code (long... it's gun code!)
    By j21blackjack in forum Concealed Carry Issues & Discussions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: December 13th, 2007, 10:36 AM
  4. The Code
    By TN_Mike in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: October 18th, 2007, 09:43 AM
  5. The US Flag Code
    By Bumper in forum Off Topic & Humor Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: September 26th, 2004, 12:27 AM

» Log in

User Name:

Password:

Not a member yet?
Register Now!

» DefensiveCarry Sponsors