Nearly swallowed my tongue!

This is a discussion on Nearly swallowed my tongue! within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; We went for a nice drive since it was absolutely beautiful out today. We drove through the Tennessee country side. We happened to find a ...

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Thread: Nearly swallowed my tongue!

  1. #1
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Nearly swallowed my tongue!

    We went for a nice drive since it was absolutely beautiful out today. We drove through the Tennessee country side.

    We happened to find a new smallish subdivision going in just across the County line and decided to look at a model home.

    There was no one at the house but the info on the front door said it was open and to go in a look around. We did. The house was beautifully appointed. Stone work outside and hardwood floors inside. A 3 car garage, 4 bedrooms, 4 baths. Very nice and on a large lot. When we got to the master bedroom...or rather the master suite as the paperwork calls it, I knew this house must cost a pretty penny. It was huge, with hard wood floors, a fireplace, and the bathroom was the size of out current garage. But the real stunner was the walk-in closets. 2 of them, each was 14 feet by 20 feet. You read that right.

    Then we looked at the rest of the house. Kitchen, stone counter tops, commercial grade kitchen appliances, double stoves and ovens. I think the cabinets were oak.

    The laundry room had a stainless steel deep sink. Then I went into the garage. You could park a blimp in this thing. 3 car, but really big enough for 5. The paper in the garage explains this: big enough for 3 Hummers. Good God.
    The garage has a small built in work shop area. Apparently 10 feet deep and 18 feet wide is "small". Who knew?

    The three bedrooms besides the master suite were all 20 feet by 20 feet. One had its own bathroom and the other two had to share a bathroom that was between them, with a door opening directly into the bathroom from the bedroom. So you don't even have to perform the pedestrian task of walking out into the hall from your bedroom to go to the bath.

    But wait! There's more. There was a bonus room. Upstairs. A bonus room. Probably a small room suited for a game room or a computer room I thought. WRONG! This is the biggest room in the house. Massive cavern of a room. 35 feet long, 15 feet wide. Go long!
    2 doors in this room, besides the full bathroom up there. The 2 doors are entrances to the attic. One on each side of the room. Now, if you have a spare elephant to store or maybe an RV you need to keep out of the weather, this is the attic for you. Both sides of the attic are finished to the point of having plank floors in them. By the way, no stooping requited. The actual roof of the house is about 20 to 25 feet above you in the attic. I would estimate that added together, the 2 attic spaces would total 1000 square feet.

    We went outside and found the little box with all the info on the house. 4,500 heated square feet! (the first shock) It sure didn't look that big from outside!
    Price? $650,000 even! (This is when I almost swallowed my tongue)

    I'd have to win a big lottery to ever buy this place. The wife sure did like it though. On the plus side, she said we could both use one of the walk-in closets and the other we could convert into a fortified weapons locker with a safe door and beefed up walls!
    You gotta love this woman.
    ,=====o00o _
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    Glad you liked my house, I was wondering who was in there.



    Really though, it sounds nice. I'm not sure I'd ever buy a home over 3000sqft... whats the point. My parents home is 6500, and its just them living there. I just dont get it. Its nice and all that, but its a huge expense and a lot of work to keep up.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Distinguished Member Array Chooie's Avatar
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    Wow, that's it? Park that thing outside of Boston and it's 1.5 mil. LA? Probably even more. SF? Easily 2 mil, probably quite more. Of course, here in Central Virginia, it's probably a $400,000 house. Kinda puts it in perspective, doesn't it?

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    Glad that you like the house that I sold to SIXTO real cheap...He must have removed the 24K Gold bathroom fixtures though - 'cause I didn't read you mentioning them.
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    Quote Originally Posted by QKShooter View Post
    Glad that you like the house that I sold to SIXTO real cheap...He must have removed the 24K Gold bathroom fixtures though - 'cause I didn't read you mentioning them.
    Yeah I did, they looked cheap so I had them melted down for my new set of teeth.
    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Senior Member Array Arkie's Avatar
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    WOW! I wonder how much it would cost to heat that puppy in the winter?

    The closets are bigger than my bedrooms!!!!


    "Sixto" LOL!!! I bet you smile a lot to show off your new Grill. :^)

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    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    It was a beautiful house but SIXTO is right. That's just too darn much house. Even with 5 kids and the wife and me, that's more house than we need. I can't imagine what my wife and I would do by ourselves in that place after all the kids grow up and move out. Maybe turn that bonus room into home gym. The other bedrooms? One could be a computer suite, one could be a library. The last....my wife said it could be a "adult play room"....I'm going to have to keep an eye on her. The close to 40 she gets the more she scares me.
    ,=====o00o _
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    l_--- \___l---[]lllllll[]
    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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    Distinguished Member Array Chooie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    The last....my wife said it could be a "adult play room"....I'm going to have to keep an eye on her. The close to 40 she gets the more she scares me.
    LOL! You've gotta have hobbies once the kiddos are gone...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chooie View Post
    LOL! You've gotta have hobbies once the kiddos are gone...
    Some wives are happy with a sewing room or a library...
    "Just blame Sixto"

  11. #10
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SIXTO View Post
    Some wives are happy with a sewing room or a library...
    If you knew my wife you would know she just ain't the sewing type.

    We have 5 kids SIXTO....we didn't get them by sewing you know?
    ,=====o00o _
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    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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    Quote Originally Posted by TN_Mike View Post
    If you knew my wife you would know she just ain't the sewing type.

    We have 5 kids SIXTO....we didn't get them by sewing you know?
    God bless her. Thats all I got to say about that.

    "Just blame Sixto"

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    Mike, with a little work the extra room could become your pistol range. 7 yards is only 21 feet, that would leave 14 feet for backstop and sitting area. 7 feet to the firing line and 7 feet to create the backstop behind the target line. My kind of house.
    George

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein

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    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dr_cmg View Post
    Mike, with a little work the extra room could become your pistol range. 7 yards is only 21 feet, that would leave 14 feet for backstop and sitting area. 7 feet to the firing line and 7 feet to create the backstop behind the target line. My kind of house.
    George, I like your thinking.
    ,=====o00o _
    //___l__,\____\,__
    l_--- \___l---[]lllllll[]
    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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    Distinguished Member Array Bob The Great's Avatar
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    heckuva house! It does sound big, but I like the idea of having plenty of rooms (home theater room, library, etc), and the indoor range idea is brilliant!
    "A well-educated electorate, being necessary to the continuance of a free state, the right of the people to keep and read books shall not be infringed."
    Is this hard to understand? Then why does it get unintelligible to some people when 5 little words are changed?

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    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    That home in Flagstaff AZ would go in the $ 2-2.5 range, median prices for homes up here is around $500,000. It is a lot more than your typical workin man can afford.
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

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