Men Cooking

Men Cooking

This is a discussion on Men Cooking within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Now that BBQ season is here, it's a good idea to remind one and all of the tremendous significance of these cookouts in the fabric ...

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Thread: Men Cooking

  1. #1
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    Men Cooking

    Now that BBQ season is here, it's a good idea to remind one and all of the tremendous significance of these cookouts in the fabric of society, and that men have barbecued meat from the dawn of civilization. Keep up the tradition, men!

    BBQ

    It's the only cooking a real man will do. When a man decides to barbecue, the following chain of events is set in motion:

    1) The wife buys the food.

    2) The wife makes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.

    3) The wife prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill -- beer in hand.

    Here comes the important part...

    4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine....

    5) The wife goes inside to organize plates and utensils.

    6) The wife comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

    Important again ....

    7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO HIS WIFE. He
    accepts the beer and returns to his lounger to review the operation and how he can improve it next time.

    More routine.....

    8) The wife brings plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, and sauces to the table.

    9) After eating, the wife clears the table and loads the dishwasher.

    And finally...

    10) As guests leave, everyone thanks the man and praises his cooking efforts.

    11) The man asks his wife how she enjoyed her "night off." Noting her
    annoyed reaction, he concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.


  2. #2
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    You should see my dad's keen-eyed "I've got this down to an exact science" look as he hovers over the grill with his tongs. He knows mom likes hers "black, but not like rock" and I like mine "juicy, but kill the tapeworms."

    "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." - Yoshimi Ishikawa

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    Senior Member Array CombatEffective's Avatar
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    That just about sums it up. :)

    Actually, I do all of the prep work and I don't consume alcohol, but everyting else is almost right on. I don't understand my wife sometimes though. It'll be a special occaission like her birthday or something and she'll want me to grill something, which means she ends up cleaning up everything.
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    VIP Member Array Euclidean's Avatar
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    This reminds me... I just made my 6th batch of homemade BBQ sauce.

    This batch is definitely sweet and sticky, and it's a nice almost black color too.

    Too much Worcestshire sauce in this batch, plus the chili powder I used wasn't that good so it isn't everything it could be. Perhaps next time I should add steak seasoning.

  5. #5
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    Speaking of homemade stuff, I did some nice steaks the other night. I bought some shake-on seasoning at the Bass Pro Shop a while back. It's by the same folks that do the Cajun Injector stuff. I cut some nice steaks into strips and seared them in a frying pan. Then I put them in the oven and broiled them until done. They were very tender done that way. I used some Tony Roma Carolina Honey barbeque sauce with them and the combination of sweet sauce with spicey beef was great.
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    Bumper, you could print that up to look nice and sell it! Its true the wife does most of the effort and the guy gets the credit. But I think Mom likes to please her husband and lets him away with murder. I do clean up the bad parts on pots and pans if needed though. I think us guys like to puff up how we are in charge and we know thats not true.
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    Senior Member Array Tom357's Avatar
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    I've got four beautiful shoulders to put in the smoker, tomorrow night, and three slabs of ribs. Sauce is already made. Need to get the spices for the rub, and something to drink for the all-nighter, tomorrow night.
    - Tom
    You have the power to donate life.

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    I'll have you know I do all the cooking at my house as well as the grocery shopping. If I'm cooking it I like to pick it out. Oh and my cooking is not restricted to only the grill. My wife gets the clean up chores however.

    I also bake. I am secure enough in my manliness that I can admit that here.

    -Scott-

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    I'm with Scott, I'll do the cooking if the wife will do the cleanup!
    Rick

    EOD - Initial success or total failure

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    I like the bit - when having finished the grill work - we all compare BarBQ guns!!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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    My wife is a very good cook, so I do some on the smoker, but rarely just on the grill. I do however make a mean-arse pot of beer chili....
    Bumper
    Coimhéad fearg fhear na foighde; Beware the anger of a patient man.

  12. #12
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    Tom357 I meant to ask you about the smoker design you use. From reading and watching TV about BBQ smokers there seems to be an art in making these things. Without giving the store away could you point us to a reference on the net about a smoker or maybe explain how they are built very briefly of course.
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    I've done all the cooking in the house since we were married. (mainly due to my becoming frustrated while watching my wife measure everything, from water, to exact portioning) I just kinda throw everything into the pot, and it does the rest. Sometime last year, I got up one morning, only to find my Wife in the cookbook again. I asked her "hey Darlin, whatcha making for breakfast" she replied "I'm trying to find the recipe for making scrambled eggs" I then shook my head, did a complete 180 and headed back to bed, pulling the covers over my head while letting out a loud belly laugh. Like my daughter always says. "If it comes out of a can or a box, Mom can make it, well ALMOST"

  14. #14
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    I don’t fit into one of the "average Joe and his grill" categories ,I used to cook for a living, and I really love to do some catering for "BBQ" type parties now and then.

    Myself and a few friends have taken the "BBQ" thing very serious for several years now, in fact this month is our anual "pig roast" at my best friends house, what a bash that one usually turns into.

    Last season we catered 14 parties from a baby shower to several birthdays, on up to full two blown weddings. We cooked a season total of: 10 whole hogs, 12 smoked turkeys, 4 Steamships of Beef, 30+ whole chickens, and several tons of homemade (well it seemed like tons while making them) side dishes ranging from bbq baked beans, Mac and Cheese, scalloped potatoes, any type of salads and my favorite Corn on the Cob!. All the sauces are also home made.

    What statred out as an excuse to drink a few beers, has turned into another hobby that could almost be considered a part time job. For this year I think my stock car will get a bit more of the attention as I have more money and time in that right now.

    Also last year was lots of work and taught us that we need better and larger equipment, and since I like building every thing myself, and don’t have enough time right now. It looks like the catering business will have to wait for a bit.

    Maybe if I ever quit this racing thing I would build the equipment I really lust for and start cooking for a living again, and then I could cater parties and BBQs all year round that would rock!.
    Death and taxes..... need i say any more?

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