October 27th, 2007 11:11 AM
Don't do much posting but this hit home. I know in NY everything gets divided in half. Find out where the money is as you should still be entitled to half of it until legal papers are drawn up. Watch her charge cards as you might be responsible for half of the balance.
Let your lawyer be your "emotional barrier" to all the ******** that you will go through. Don't make any decisions under stress and follow your lawyer's advice. Again, get some legal papers drawn up as it will also protect you if she runs up some bills.
Please remember, there are thousands of guys in the "green weenie club". We all made it. Let some time go by. You'll see that once the divorce is over that you'll be better off.
If you have kids know that they come first and will need to be reassured that they are not the reason for the divorce.
Don't be vindictive and don't give away anything that you are entitled to just to speed up an agreement.
Find a friend or two that you can trust and talk for "therapy".
Finally some very good advice from a former coworker "don't get attached to inanimate objects as it clouds your decision making".
October 27th, 2007 12:30 PM
Originally Posted by limatunes
I'm still single and (unfortunately) will probably remain so, but I can understand the emotional devastation that goes along with the end of a marriage.
Hang in there!
It's not about the caliber you carry, it's about how you USE it.
1988 DIE HARD 2008
October 27th, 2007 01:08 PM
Sorry to hear about your marriage is on the rocks.I've been there too fought
like hell to keep every thing .I was single for 3 years between wife 2 going on
25 years and if anything happens between us I am staying a bachelor for the rest of my days as I am to set in my ways and wife 2 would be a hard act to follow.Good luck !
October 27th, 2007 08:06 PM
Been married 4 Times
Last time I got it right
Been hooked up 21 years now
hang in there boss
Just remember If they dont want you
you dont NEED them
When outnumbered 2 to 1.
October 27th, 2007 11:24 PM
Jeep, hang in there buddy. As others have said, sometimes you can be as careful as you can possibly be and it still doesn't work. Nothing you could see coming.
Just don't let it ruin the rest of your life. You still have plenty of great times ahead of you even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Hey, you still have a Jeep and a Hi Power. And that's nothing to sneeze at my friend. (if you can't tell, I am a Jeep guy too)
Vent as much as you want. I live in the Memphis TN area, not too terribly far from you. If you come over here for a day or two to get away from it all there, email me and we'll go shooting.
Hang in there.
October 28th, 2007 12:21 PM
Been there, Done that. I was only married once, pretty nice until she decided to quit work and stay at home to watch tv all day and buy things off of QVC that no one needs. Not good.
Came back home and now I can do what I want. lol.
Just hang in there Jeep. The road might be a little bumpy right now but the pavers are coming and it will be smooth as glass pretty soon.
October 28th, 2007 12:30 PM
I agree with Stetson. I got it right on the third try, but if anything should happen(God forbid), I will be a bachelor thereafter. You will survive, and learn a valuable, but painful, lesson from this.
Assault is a behavior, not a device.
"Don't never take no shortcuts." Patty Reed, Donner Party
Lifetime NRA member
October 28th, 2007 02:52 PM
Jeep, I don't know you or either of the "hers" involved, but I wanted to mention to you that if marriage #1 failed when SHE found a boyfriend, that is not YOUR failure, it is hers. Her infidelity is not your fault, no matter if you supposedly "caused it," as some evil, immoral people will try to tell their cheated-on spouse. As to this one and your reference to her moods...when she is in vs. out of therapy....I have a funny feeling she is worse off mentally than she admitted to you. Not your failure either.
I feel like a failure. This is my second failed marriage. My first one failed after 24 years when she found another boyfriend.
Hang in there as best you can, you can make it.
October 29th, 2007 06:33 AM
I got it right the first time. We were together for 27 years before she passed away with lung cancer.
Second time I managed to hook up with the WITCH FROM HELL!!!! I tried everything known to mankind to make it work, refused to admit failure for about 10 years to no avail. We divorced about 10 years ago and I felt like the prison doors had swung open for me.
Now on the 3rd marriage,but be certain that I chose CAREFULLY this time. Wonderful Lady and we are happy together--she is my best friend !
Hang in there Jeep. Better days are on the way. Sure, it hurts for now, but you are man enough to overcome the pain.
My prayers have been sent up for you ,and your ex as well. (She needs them too.)
October 30th, 2007 06:23 AM
You and I are in the same boat. The wife and I are getting a legal seperation. I am actually relieved. I don't have to worry about what kind of mood she is in every day. Stay Strong.
October 30th, 2007 07:55 PM
I'm so sorry to hear of this man,its not fun I've been there. I've never been married before(I'm getting married nov. 10th for the first time) but I have had long term relationships go down the tubes and it hurts alot. But I've had people there for me(thanks again george) and help guide me to where I am now.
I noticed you said seperating and not filing for divorce. Maybe you can talk to your wife it may not be to late,if you both want to really work it out you should atleast try. And FWIW I don't believe you to be a faliure and you shoulden't either.If you feel like you just need to talk to someone PM me I'd be glad to listen,I've been lucky enough to have someone there for me and it meant alot and still does. I hope things work out for you and god bless you.
October 30th, 2007 10:40 PM
Sorry to hear about your problem. It's tough. Been there. Done that.
A word (or two) of advice:
You cannot control the actions of someone else, but you alone control your actions.
Think before you act.
Postpone tough decisions as long as possible. Sometimes, clarification comes only after time.
Above all, show character. People of character can overcome any problem and grow stronger as the result of.
October 30th, 2007 10:56 PM
Lawyer up dude, seriously. Give your dog to a friend for a while, hide your guns.
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