Don't know if you've seen this Resignation Letter.

Don't know if you've seen this Resignation Letter.

This is a discussion on Don't know if you've seen this Resignation Letter. within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; The Best Resignation Letter Ever Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! ...

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Thread: Don't know if you've seen this Resignation Letter.

  1. #1
    Member Array Sonic Misfit's Avatar
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    Don't know if you've seen this Resignation Letter.

    The Best Resignation Letter Ever
    Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss,
    who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!


    Dear Mr. Baker,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations.
    Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above
    the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my
    coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you
    are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything
    I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time,
    but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer
    systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other
    employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and
    paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still
    gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you,
    but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be
    just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
    than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You
    have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview,
    but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff,
    hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of mana gerial
    evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers
    like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely
    to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender
    my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give
    me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to
    comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years
    to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password
    you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to
    publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made
    me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita"
    are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother's
    birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of
    yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron
    you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle,
    but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the
    authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please;
    I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by
    8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant
    obsessions will be open to the public. Never **** with your systems administrator.
    Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day,

    Cecelia
    Last edited by JD; November 1st, 2007 at 05:37 PM. Reason: Fixed language workaround.


  2. #2
    Member Array 1911NM's Avatar
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    And that's why thrice daily, I pause, and bow toward the IT department.
    NRA, USPSA SS & Lim-10
    Blessed are they who, faced with danger, think only of the front sight. J. Cooper

  3. #3
    VIP Member Array Sig 210's Avatar
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    Rotflmsao

  4. #4
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    Yes.. the IT department gets MAD props. Don't mess with the computer guys!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array palmgopher's Avatar
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    that is by far the funniest thing i have read in so long!

  6. #6
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    That is a classic... a real revenge of the nerds.
    "Just blame Sixto"

  7. #7
    Member Array S3ymour's Avatar
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    That is the best resignation letter I have ever read! Reminds me of the time I was working on a managers pc, and they had im's coming through with people talking dirty to them. Quite amusing.

  8. #8
    Distinguished Member Array Ghettokracker71's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by limatunes View Post
    Yes.. the IT department gets MAD props. Don't mess with the computer guys!
    lol I learned that from the movie office space


    "To blame a gun for a mans decision is to foolishly attribute free will to an inanimate object"- Colion Noir.

  9. #9
    Member Array monky's Avatar
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    Heh.. if I sent one of my bosses an IM while I was at work, I usually started it off with 'are you nekid'.. the responses were always great. We were a tight knit bunch..

  10. #10
    VIP Member Array TN_Mike's Avatar
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    Oh I love that resignation letter. That is a classic!
    ,=====o00o _
    //___l__,\____\,__
    l_--- \___l---[]lllllll[]
    (o)_)-o- (o)_)--o-)_)

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