You might be a member of the Taliban if:
You might be a member of the Taliban, IF:
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a $300 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You have more wives than you have teeth.
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You've ever opened a can of falafel with a mortar round.
You used a Stinger missile given to you by George Bush Sr. to shoot at a helicopter sent by George Bush Jr.
You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.
You think "The Kite Runner" is the funniest book you ever read.
Your first urge after seeing a woman's exposed ankle is to kill her.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
And saving the most appropriate and fitting for last..You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."