Why men may be happier

This is a discussion on Why men may be happier within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; Is this truth in humor or humor in truth? Why ARE Men Happier? Men are just happier people - What do you expect from such ...

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Thread: Why men may be happier

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Array FortyFive's Avatar
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    Why men may be happier

    Is this truth in humor or humor in truth?

    Why ARE Men Happier? Men are just happier people -

    What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 20 -25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
    ---
    NRA Life Member

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  3. #2
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    Everything on your face stays its original color
    But wait - my beard has gone white! I want my money back!!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


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  4. #3
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    Hi Chris, your beard is not white it is a pleasing shade of its old self seasoned through the years with the gentle brush of your hand while in deep thought.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
    ---
    NRA Life Member

  5. #4
    Senior Member Array firefighter4884's Avatar
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    Chris...

    That's because you're getting older...and slower... :)

    Just kidding man. we all love having you around :)
    Firefighter / EMT - Always Ready. Ever Willing.

    ~Never do anything that you don't want to have to explain to the paramedics...~

  6. #5
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    Bwhahaha!! FortyFive - you smooth talker you!

    Firefighter - thx dude - backatcha!
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

  7. #6
    Member Array grnzbra's Avatar
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    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
    You haven't visited Dorney Park/Wildwater Kingdom in Pennsylvania, have you. The several times I was there, there were two or three women wearing "transparent when wet" clothing. (and I'm not just talking about the tops)
    There's a reason The Sopranos is set in New Jersey.
    Basic Pistol

  8. #7
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    grnzbra-that is pretty funny but suppose with little ones around it would present a problem. Glad to see you posting on the forum.
    As you slide down the banister of life,
    May the splinters never point the wrong way.
    ---
    NRA Life Member

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