Zen sarcasm

This is a discussion on Zen sarcasm within the Off Topic & Humor Discussion forums, part of the The Back Porch category; I am sure this won't be new but I hadn't seen all this stuff all together as it is ....... so anyways - for a ...

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Thread: Zen sarcasm

  1. #1
    Assistant Administrator
    Array P95Carry's Avatar
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    Zen sarcasm

    I am sure this won't be new but I hadn't seen all this stuff all together as it is ....... so anyways - for a few perhaps it'll be new.

    Certainly makes me chuckle some of these. Helps ease Monday blues!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Zen sarcasm

    1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
    2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
    3. It is always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
    4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
    5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
    6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
    7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of your car payments.
    8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
    9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
    10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
    11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
    12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
    13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
    14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
    16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    17. Duct tape is like "The Force." It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
    18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
    19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
    Chris - P95
    NRA Certified Instructor & NRA Life Member.

    "To own a gun and assume that you are armed
    is like owning a piano and assuming that you are a musician!."


    http://www.rkba-2a.com/ - a portal for 2A links, articles and some videos.

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  3. #2
    Member Array Airedale's Avatar
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    Good stuff!
    Dave

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    Senior Member Array flagflyfish's Avatar
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    Good stuff
    20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    In the big city, if a man with money meets a man with experience, the man with experience ends up with the money, and the man with the money has an experience.
    "These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier
    and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the
    service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the
    love and thanks of man and woman."

    -- Thomas Paine (The American Crisis, No. 1, 19 December 1776)

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    VIP Member Array ron8903's Avatar
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    # 11 Amen..............
    "A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
    - Sir Winston Churchill

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    VIP Member Array rodc13's Avatar
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    I especially like #20. That's like the fellow who's about to be hanged, saying, "Boy, this is sure gonna be a lesson to me!"
    Cheers,
    Rod
    "We're paratroopers. We're supposed to be surrounded!" Dick Winters

  7. #6
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    thanks Chris....great!
    Liberty Over Tyranny Μολὼν λαβέ

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    21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
    I wish some people at my office would use this one..
    Magazine <> clip - know the difference

    martyr is a fancy name for crappy fighter
    You have never lived until you have almost died. For those that have fought for it, life has a special flavor the protected will never know

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